Comments

  1. jamal49 says

    The elders have ceased from the gate, the young men from their musick.

    The joy of our heart is ceased; our dance is turned into mourning.

    Lamentations 5:14-15

    Rest In Peace, Brother.

  2. Barton G says

    This is very sad news. While I know everyone will think of him as a porn star, I had the opportunity to get to know him as a person. He was VERY bright and super thoughtful.

    His great challenge was getting a green card and was a key reason for entering porn in order to make fast money. He was a good man who I believe was a biologist or chemist in his home country.

    RIP.

  3. John says

    I agree with Barton’s comments.

    Met “Paul” on a blind date. He was even sexier in person than what most have come to know in his porn work– as his little boy nature was front and center. That smirk. He was full of bright light.

    We had a great dinner together that was filled with conversation about world politics, his country, his life in Miami with an ex (a prof. at UofM) that had recently ended and his plans to move to NYC and career objectives. No mention of porn and no clue other than I thought he could be a porn star. It was before he hit big. The rest of the evening is mine. Sad news, indeed!

  4. Robert says

    David – yes. Straight men like their female porn stars, gay men like their male porn stars. Don’t turn this into something it’s not.

    I also heard Arpad was always a joy to work with. For such a big burly guy he never seemed to be one of those thuggish, angry porn stars. He was often playful and smiling. I didn’t see any demons behind those eyes, but I guess I was wrong.

  5. Caliban says

    I don’t know why, but this surprises me. Maybe just because he didn’t do BB porn and thus seemed level-headed and didn’t seem like a steroid or drug freak. Plus he was hot.

  6. lucas says

    Another gay porn star kicks the bucket…It’s the equivalent of saying the sun rose today…No wonder gay men have such a low life expectancy…The porn stars are helping to lower it for the rest.

  7. Hugh says

    I was really shocked when I came across this headline. I don’t want to think about the circumstances that led him to take his own life, but if it matters anywhere at all, he will definitely be missed.

    He was an amazing performer and already was a porn legend. I’ve enjoyed everything he’s been in, even the straight porn.

    It seems so crass to praise him through his porn work, but that’s what he did, and that’s how most people knew him through. Rest in peace.

  8. says

    Is there any word on how he took his own life? I love life so much and never understand why anyone would think life was not worth living. All we have is life. No one knows what is beyond that so we should enjoy every minute of it while it is here.

  9. Barrett Johnston II says

    Hugh- I think he had two sets of fans. Those that knew the man and those that knew the image of a man through gay porn. Fortunately, both are equally beautiful.

    As for gay porn somehow lowering the age expectancy of all gay men comment, was that for real? Seriously, such stupidity is what brings down gay men. You don’t get a pass on the things you say/think/write even if you can hide behind anonymity. What you put out into the world is still authored by you!

  10. dms says

    To those who dismiss gay porn stars and the industry in general.

    Because we live in a society that is dominated by straights, there is very little in the media, movies, tv, magazines etc., which portrays gay sex. For many (including Miklos apparently) seeing gay porn is the first time one actually understands what they are feeling is normal and in fact, enjoyed by others. Maybe it’s not the most productive, responsible, way to come to understand what gay sex is (especially if you log into a bareback site, etc.) but for better or worse I think it does and will continue to have a major impact on young people (or even adults) trying to come to terms with the feelings they are having.

    So let’s not vilify or even dismiss porn stars. Let’s accept, that to some degree, they are role models.

    And let’s not forget that this was a man who was clearly tormented and has died leaving a hole in the lives of the people who loved him.

    Rest in peace, Miklos Arpad.

  11. says

    He was a very sweet and friendly man. I recall one night many years ago in NYC at a crowded bar when my arms were loaded up with drinks for my friends, and Mr. Miklos, unsolicited, walked me back to my friends – leading the way through the packed crowd, so that nobody would jostle my short @ss as i balanced the beverages. a simple act of kindness.

    shame. he seemed to be a good man. a good and handsome man. of course, this means his death with bring out the snark in the trolls.
    must be tuesday.

  12. says

    To answer one person’s question: For decades adult film stars and drag queens were our stars and icons because no one else, particularly celebs were out in a communally accessible way, and were a driving force in defining American gay culture. They may not hold candles to Ellen and the like THESE days, but they are still a large part of our community’s culture.

    So sad about Arpad. He was a kind person from what I knew of him.

  13. c says

    its just sad to know that it might not even be the porn stars with the issue…it could be the casting directors, directors or other parts of the industry…we dont know what kind of criticism they all go through and bullying they must endure while in this career…ur too fat, ur too old, ur not built, ur losing ur hair, ur look tired…it should be the industry that needs to be looked into…dont get me wrong, i am a fan of porn, but it doesnt seem to me like its as glamourous as it appears to be…i now understand why SPENCER REED AND DIESEL WASHINGTON want either out of it or get their own studio…they are two perfect examples of what good porn is and considering that SPENCER was almost stabbed to death from his BF…im glad he left the US to pursue his DJ’ing and as far as DIESEL, i know understand why u vent like u do as often as u do !!

  14. GMB says

    I realize that not *all* gay porn stars are escorts, but Arpad Miklos was a very public one, winning “Hookies” awards every year since 2008 for Sexiest Escort, Best Top, Best Daddy, etc.

    I don’t think anyone would disagree that sex work in America can be tremendously challenging; aside from the legalities, today’s sex workers expose themselves to serious dangers that can threaten their physical and mental health.

    Although Arpad may have seemed to be tremendously ‘exposed’ due to his work in adult film, I don’t think any of us have any CLUE what he was experiencing in his actual life.

    And yes, I think it’s time for us to stop sugarcoating our porn stars and making them out to be heroes, complete with ridiculous awards for our favorite prostitutes.

    One great thing about the rise of internet dating, Grindr and XTube: it’s de-monetizing porn and prostitution. Anyone can star in their own video, and anyone can find a dreamy guy for sex. I’d like to think that as these industries become less lucrative, fewer guys in trouble will turn to them for a quick buck.

  15. Jack M says

    I would think that having people attractd to you just for your face, body, etc. can have an effect after a while. Few want you for who you really are inside, which may cause depression and lead to suicide.

  16. anon says

    At 45, I’m thinking mid-life crisis, but obviously at bit worse than that. However, long-term depression is the most probably explanation. The lines between mere exhibitionism and porn are blurring and what happens to the FB generation when they turn 45 and all their old photos are still out there?

  17. John says

    Sad news.

    He certainly had a long and prolific career in the industry. 58 flicks according to his friend Lynch, although iafd.com lists 113 titles (probably because of some compilations and individual streaming scenes). It seems he worked pretty steadily from 1995 until last year, which is a long shelf life for someone in that business. Clearly his popularity didn’t seem to be on the wane with producers.

    I remember several years ago Fleshbot posted an item about him.

    Arpad was dating a guy briefly who broke up with him because he couldn’t deal with his work in porn. On his Big Muscle page, he wrote several paragraphs detailing his affection for this guy, his sadness about the break up and his wish that he could have seen him as a whole human being with outside interests, intelligence and warmth rather than just his porn star persona.

    As I recall, it was rather well written, but the fact that he felt the need to broadcast it in such a public forum I found sad, and perhaps a clue that he did suffer from depression.

    I hope he’s in a happier, more peaceful place now.

  18. Polyboy says

    Those who vilify porn stars, yet worship sociopaths in business need to evaluate their values about who actually hurts people with their so called success.

    RIP Arpad Miklos.

  19. Cam says

    Isn’t the bigger issue here suicide, and how we lost another beautiful person (inside and out) to the horrible disease of depression? We are losing people, Bright, wonderful people in our lgbt communities to this. It isn’t about what he did for a living. It’s about someone believing at least at some level (untrue as it is) that the world would be better off without them. Suicide is a horrible thing for friends and family to have to live through. It’s something that will cause people to spend years and years wondering if they could have done something differently, if they missed signs, if it were all somehow their fault. This epidemic of mental illness in our country is something that we need to be aware of and combating. Porn personalities are people and they deserve the same things out of life that the rest of us do. It makes me very angry that someone could dismiss another person as LESS THAN because of their JOB. Because those of you that condemn him for being in porn will probably be the first ones rushing off to buy or download more porn. Glass houses people, watch where you throw your stones.

  20. Eric says

    Research has shown that the suicide rate among men in the West in their forties and fifties, already among the highest rates of any age group, has risen sharply since the economic crisis in 2008.

  21. says

    This is not the first suicide of a Gay porn star, not by a longshot. Just another reminder, to those who foolishly idolize them, that porn celebrity is not the sort of career that Gay men (or anybody else) should aspire to.

  22. David Kerlick says

    As a religion (mine), gay male porno has a lot to offer, much better than the twisted, violent, homophobic stories told by the Abrahamic religions. I consider myself a principled viewer — no BB and no coercion — and the time spent getting off to porn puts me in touch with parts of my nature too long submerged by power-hungry “authorities.”

    Suicide is often from undiagnosed depression — so a note to anybody feeling that, help is available but you have to seek it.

  23. says

    I was such a fan. He was just so perfect. I met him for a half-second at Folsom one year. He was such a sweetie–I had (have) such a crush on that man.

    With suicide, I’m always torn: One one hand I feel it is an incredibly selfish and self indulgent act. On the other, I can’t imagine being in such a dark place that suicide is the answer.

    I hope he’s at peace.

  24. David says

    There seems to be a correlation between being a porn star and a higher rate of suicide/early death. On the outside, these guys appear to have so much of what many of us want. Yet, some are clearly miserable. Why, and does it point to larger problems in our community on how we value ourselves and each other? I have no answers – but would appreciate hearing from those who do.

  25. JerryR says

    It says a lot about gay people that we have so many positive role models and heroes of all kinds. And a lot of people in the porn industry are great people (of course not all) and porn itself is a part of our liberation, always will be.

  26. VictorG says

    This makes me so sad. He was a wonderful star and from what people say a terrific guy. I love porn and really terrific porn stars like Arpad Miklos raise the bar for the viewer and for the industry, just like regular movie stars – think Gregory Peck – have done. Condolences to all who knew him and loved him.

  27. David Hearne says

    @ Sam “Yes. For better or worse, porn is part of the gay popular culture. Does it bother you?”

    Porn itself doesn’t bother me. I enjoy some of it. However, I don’t think it’s of general interest and I don’t think it’s becoming to the gay community that a publication such as this lists pornography milestones and latest released along with actual news, political commentary, and serious issues. It also bugs me that when you Google image “gay” the first thing that comes up is porn.

    Like it or not, one is judged by the company he keeps. Do we really think it’s hip to have gay Eagle Scouts and dead fist fickers in the same lead section?

  28. R says

    This is a shock. I always used to see him around Houston Street. Handsome and broad-shouldered, he was a larger-than-life figure. Sometimes we’d smile at each other. I wish we had done more than that.

  29. kodiak says

    I used to see him around the neighborhood, just a couple of weeks ago at the start of the cold snap. He seemed a sweet guy, and when I saw this post I blurted out loud “NO!” He was a good one. I’m really sorry about this and will miss crossing paths with this giant man!

  30. John says

    Guys –

    Again there are many deaths and suicides every day across all walks of life. Just because someone sexually turns you on doesn’t make for a more sincere, thoughtful, ‘deeper’ person….

    There is no good reason for suicide and absolutely I feel compassion for this guy and his family because he is a human who suffered. However, I don’t have any more compassion because he had a degree of “celebrity” because of his porn career. Read the posts above this – I think what is abnormal is the gay man’s celebration of a porn star over others. Be real guys.

  31. says

    Wow, many pathetic men commenting in here.

    Know what happens if you’re a “straight porn star”? You become a mainstream celeb. You get your own reality shows. You’re a “Bunny” and you’re treated as an american icon.

    of course the cowards on here are upset about anything “gay” that also relates to, you know, actual sex.

    I understand that some of you can only earn tolerance from your communities by neutering yourselves and editing out anything remotely sexual about yourselves, but that’s not how a lot of us choose to live.

    we’re “judged by the company we keep”, David Hearne? GOOD. I’d rather keep company with people who aren’t terrified of sex, or expressions of sex, than the cowardly trolls who can only find peace by pretending to be vestal virgins.

  32. Clyde says

    Suicide is not a black and white issue. In some cultures it is seen as an honorable choice so I think its naive to write it off as weak or totally selfish.

    Plus……we have no idea why he did this. It could be something he has struggled with since before his porn career started. We don’t know. Judgement is so often based on lack of facts.

    Porn is one of the few outlets most of us had to show that what we were feeling was not that abnormal or to at least let us know we were not alone. Perhaps not the best or healthiest form of identification but better than nothing and regardless of how you think of it, it is a part of our past/culture so I think its perfectly right to list this as news on a site with “homosexual tendencies.” If you don’t agree, don’t read/comment on the article. God knows, I pick and choose which posts I read and comment on.

  33. Icebloo says

    He was certainly a lucky man – he was tall, dark, handsome and sexy but like I always say “nobody gets everything” and he obviously had some mental issues going on.
    Once you get involved in that weird world of porn and prostitution (yes he was regularly advertising as an escort on Adam4adam.com as he travelled around the country) you end up screwed up.

    It’s a sad day for his family.

  34. says

    the irony – closeted adults who’ve never been laid and use the internet to anonymously rag on others saying that this man’s being in the adult industry “f***ed him up”

    yeah. cuz the trolls on here are the pinnacle of mental health. 😉

  35. Francis says

    People will talk about porn, how they like it or how they find it seedy, but human beings are sexual creatures by and large, so it’s not somehow wrong or confusing to realize that these men will be remembered in kind for their work on camera, and entertaining millions of men, and women too. And as has been said, for A LOT of gay/bi/questioning/curious/etc. men, gay porn is their first real representation and look of what it means for two guys to have sex. And that it’s just as fun, as beautiful, as intimate and fulfilling as heterosexual sex.

    Lastly, these men are, first and foremost, human beings and real people, and from all accounts Arpad was an awesome guy. It’s always sad when such good hearted individuals take their lives so suddenly. In the end, we’ve lost another one to suicide and I’m really, really tired of seeing gay men and gay boys dropping like flies due to drug abuse and suicide.

    RIP Arpad Miklos.

  36. ratbastard says

    RIP regardless of why he killed himself it couldn’t have been easy growing old.

    ‘The lines between mere exhibitionism and porn are blurring and what happens to the FB generation when they turn 45 and all their old photos are still out there?’

    –u said it.

  37. ratbastard says

    RIP regardless of why he killed himself it couldn’t have been easy growing old.

    ‘The lines between mere exhibitionism and porn are blurring and what happens to the FB generation when they turn 45 and all their old photos are still out there?’

    –u said it.

  38. jason says

    Arpad was bisexual, not gay. I remember when he did a scene with a woman and all these angry queens stormed one of the gay porn websites to denounce him.

    The inconvenient truth is that porn is often a symptom of a downward spiral.

  39. says

    what happens when we turn 45 and all our old photos are still out there?

    you mean other than being able to look back at how smokin’ hot we looked in our younger years?

    there are far worse things than people knowing how darn sexy you look whilst naked.

    Guy in the Future: “Hey, man. Um, I saw some photos of you on the internet from when you were in your twenties. You were totally naked.”
    Me in the Future: “I know. Hot, eh?”

    but hey, if denigrating those in the adult industry or those who don’t feel shame about being sexual beings makes some of you feel better about your involuntary abstinence, then, um…rock on with that.

  40. ratbastard says

    but hey, if denigrating those in the adult industry or those who don’t feel shame about being sexual beings makes some of you feel better about your involuntary abstinence, then, um…rock on with that.

    Posted by: LittleKiwi | Feb 5, 2013 4:14:11 PM

    Lil’ Phukface,

    Why do you babble?

  41. Really says

    Being promiscuous isnt the same as being a porn star. One is in the public domain, and whether you are ashamed of it or not doesn’t matter, people will judge and it will effect future prospects. Its fact, get over it. Its a shame and i dont agree with it, but there it is.

    If you think it doesnt you are a naive fool.

  42. says

    “Really”, you also get judged for being gay.

    You can’t choose how idiotic ninnies will choose to see you. You can merely choose to care, or not.

    It seems a great many of you still live every day in fear of what people will think about you. That sounds like a terribly dull and insecure excuse for a life. You could make it to age 85 – won’t mean you actually lived a real life.

  43. Steve says

    Wow! Very sad for him and his family. Such a shame to see a life end this way – – and especially when I admired him so. I’m humbled once again to have been so shallow and think that physical beauty makes paves the way for a perfect life. I’ll pray for him, and remember better days.

  44. says

    Miklos, was in my eyes,a really nice guy who measured up to his daddy roles on screen.

    I wish someone could have talked him out of suicide.

    This is news because he was a legend in gay male porn and that he was a really nice guy.

    We mourn his death and yes, guys, we need to keep our tribe alive in his memory. AIDS killed without mercy for years. We need to treasure our lives and reach out to buddy bond and make a statement that our lives are always about living.

  45. says

    I always called him Mr Shooting Range. His trajectory is jaw-dropping. And by “is” I mean his immortality is assured by his body of work in porn. Gay porn, for me, is the most powerful antidote to the toxic alienation I experience every day as a member of a sexual minority, and Arpad is right up there, brightly lit, in my pantheon of heroes.

  46. Mary says

    Funinsnows, how can it be a “blessing” when a person with people who loved him commits suicide? Are you so anti-gay that you are actually glad this man died? Sounds pretty damn heartless to me.

    My condolences to all on this board who knew Mr. Miklos personally.

  47. jason says

    Little Kiwi,

    It is NOT a nice industry. It is dominated by users, drug addicts and pimps. What you see on the screen is often drug-enhanced. Is this your idea of the holy grail?

    It might be hard for you to understand but have you ever tried falling over? It might knock some sense into you.

  48. Andy says

    Like other people here have suggested, perhaps hitting 45 was terrifying for someone whose career and identity were so closely associated with their looks and the physical body.

    Hitting 45 for any gay man can be traumatic, gays are so ageist. Either way it is very sad.

    We are so used to fighting oppression, but I think we gays can do ourselves a favor by more closely looking at our own problems and prejudices, especially when it comes to aging.

  49. Dback says

    I’m with Kodiak–I actually gasped when I saw this headline. I was looking at a scene he did just a few days ago, and marveling at the passion and commitment he put into it. (It was a scene with another very masculine guy, not a twinky boy.) It seems ridiculous to venerate adult film actors for their “technique” or performing abilities (they ain’t Streep), but Miklos was one of the few guys I’ve seen on film besides the late Steve Regis (R.I.P.) and maybe Joey Stefano (also R.I.P.) who genuinely seemed to be making love to his partner(s).

    As gay men, since we don’t have a lot of role models or people to walk us through how to have sex, a lot of us pick up certain tips and tricks (and occasional unhealthy standards) from erotica. The best performers, like Greek art come to life, don’t just show us how to screw; they show us how to make love–passionately, tenderly, with exquisite attention to your partner’s pleasure as well as your own. It may be an over-romanticized notion, but you really do learn a lot about people’s innermost selves from how they make love–and even if it’s on camera, a lot of times it’s very easy to ascertain who is a selfish, boring, or unmotivated or ungenerous lover. Arpad took the screen like someone immensely comfortable with himself, and he took care of his partners with a masculine grace that was very, very sexy.

    I’m so sorry that he had his demons that brought him to this point. Best to his family and friends, and rest in peace. (And not to be morbid, but can someone check on Mason Wyler and see how he’s doing? I heard through the grapevine that he retired from erotica after testing HIV+.)

  50. Mary says

    Is it possible that Funinsnows is God’s way of punishing me for having been anti-gay in the past? “Fun” is really ruining the fun of Towleroad for me. I wish Andy would ask him to stop posting. Then again, maybe I should just ignore his posts, since this is what I used to suggest people do when my own posts offended them. I guess we reap what we sow.

  51. DeeperStill says

    Well, Mary. You’ve come a long way, I’ll give you that. I used to loathe you like the pest ;), but you somehow activated your brain at some point. So there, I said it! :)

  52. Doug Archer says

    Arpad, I can’t believe it. You had so much to live for. You were sexy and your charisma was to die for. I can’t believe that someone of your stature would want to end their life. Y O Y.
    Rest in piece, Dear Arpad. I will miss you very much.

  53. Mary says

    Yes, Deeperstill, I remember you! You’re from Denmark aren’t you? We really had a fierce exchange once. You were pretty mad at me, despite my best efforts to calm you down with civility. Glad you’re not angry anymore. Does this mean I can now visit Denmark in safety? (just joking!)

    And “Snow”, if everyone whose behavior you don’t like should commit suicide and their kind be “reduced to zero”, who would be left? And why do transsexuals bother you so much? If they are mutilating their bodies this might be a reason to feel sorry for them. But why wish them death? Are you afraid that sex-change operations will become some kind of new fad? Considering their financial cost and the emotional and physical upheaval they entail, that would seem very unlikely. And to reduce gay/lesiban “behaviors” to zero would require a cop in every bedroom, or every room where people can access gay/lesbian porn on their computers. You’ve mentioned gays. lesbians, and transsexuals. What about bisexuals? Should they also be “reduced to zero?” If so, why?

  54. DeeperStill says

    Not only can you visit Denmark in safety (and maybe attend a same-sex Church Wedding with me? ;), but I would cook you an awesome meal, and we could talk, talk, talk all evening.

    Just tell me when you’re coming, Mary! :)

  55. ratbastard says

    Yes Lil’ Phukface, do what Jason suggests and fall over so you’ll have some sense knocked into you.

    And indeed the porn industry is not full of nice people. Pimps, users, and drug addicts sums it up well. You would assume most adult men would realize the ‘performers’ of most porn they jack off to are desperate and looking for quick $, usually for a drug addiction. No, it’s not ‘nice’, anymore than the child and slave labor that’s used to produce your ipad or other gadget, yes, mine included.

  56. says

    Arpad Miklos was the ultimate model. He could convey so much warmth, intimacy, tenderness, intelligence, and SOUL. He was so far beyond the superficial, he was completely unselfconscious, he was generous with this beauty and confident masculinity. This is absolutely a stunning shocking tragedy. My heart is breaking thinking about his last days, his secret agonies, his confusion, his feelings of being totally isolated, leading to this act of a complete self annihilation. It is a place of total ambivalence and grief, melancholia reaching into one’s deepest being. I am praying that he will be remembered as a unique beautiful spirit who bravely shared with everyone his staggering appeal. Miklos Arpad Magyarül Ül százszor Kösönöm Szépen!! Resquiescat In Pacem

  57. BigGuy says

    Someone who’s attractive is objectified everyday, not just because he’s in the movies or porn videos. Some begin getting extra attention when they’re toddlers and NEVER stop getting extra attention. Men (and women) who know they’re attractive automatically use their looks to move on up in the world, often without realizing that’s what they are doing. Their ego gets some additional support that many of us never receive.

    I doubt the depravity of performing in pornography is the primary reason porn actors end their lives. These men have been performing (not sexually) for themselves and others since they were very young. I think addiction problems, internal biochemical imbalances, sudden changes in status, and rootlessness are what may cause these men to choose suicide.

    I don’t know if the rootlessness is a cause or an effect, but I do know that friends and family and helping others make people feel connected in the world. Most of the male porn stars who killed themselves recently seemed rootless and seemed to lead purposeless lives. Suicides often cut themselves off from the world before they choose to leave this world. If they’ve seemed very depressed for awhile, and suddenly become much happier, that’s often a sign that they have made a decision to commit suicide. They are feeling some joy because they have decided to end their pain.

  58. says

    It is useless to try and make snide snarky generalities about a man who was first and foremost a MODEL, who had a God Given TALENT to be able to communicate SPIRITUALLY in his work. Yes he did porn but so bloody what?? He was a beautiful individual who was deep and intense. I know all about the porn sex syndrome but in this particular case there is something totally beyond these stereotypes and clichés. Stop for one moment and try to imagine the utter PAIN that this Magnificent ARTIST was experiencing. He had so much talent in so many areas, this is absolutely an earth shattering moment not only for myself but for perhaps millions of men and women. And to learn that he was born on 11 September – -can anyone imagine how this may have affected him? This is a story which is only beginning to be told. I send all my Most Sincere Condolences to everyone he touched in his life, be it friends, family, fellow performers, photographers, directors, lighting techs: it seems that all who were involved with him are in mourning.

  59. Kevin Foster says

    Mostly, it’s the brightest, kindest, most wonderful people for whom this world can be very painful in which to live. That is the only judgement I can offer.

    I am sad for the loss of those who knew him.

    May he rest in peace.

  60. David says

    I read an interview with him and got the sense that he was a very intelligent, sophisticated European man. He saw his big chance to come to America from his native Hungary, and took it. A university graduate and chemist by profession, he thought he could do better in the USA… even if it meant a porn career. What a beautiful man, in all senses of that term. What a loss. He must have been in serious pain, to take his life. May he rest in peace.

  61. Chris says

    What an absolute shame to loose such a handsome man, how sad he felt this his only recourse. My sympathy to his friends and family, the world is a little darker today. RIP x

  62. Lee says

    Hey, David Hearne, let’s have a friendly chat about the Internet. You said:

    >> “It also bugs me that when you Google image “gay” the first thing that comes up is porn.”

    My friend, Google uses your past searches to tailor your results for you. When I search for “gay”, I get stories about marriage equality and The Big Gay Ice Cream Shop.

    >> Like it or not, one is judged by the company he keeps.

    Yes, one is. I didn’t know Arpad Miklos, but based on the comments here, I bet I would have liked him. What will your friends say about you? Repent, dude. There’s still time to be a good person…

  63. Nick Angelo says

    As sad as this is , unfortunately my experience was so negative that I am neutral on his suicide and I think it is important to shed light on how he treated some people. I worked on a movie with him Bounty Hunter and was so respectful of him that I introduced myself on the set as if he was the president of the United States instead he treated me with coldness, arrogance and was even argumentative about how long my flight back to SF from Vegas would be. I did not have a sex scene with him but even when we went to dinner after the movie wrapped up, he was only interested in one co star and the rest of could have been invisible. He even motioned this co star to move from me and sit next to him. I was not attracted to him in any way but could not believe his narcissism. I guess we never know what someone is really going through and it is unfair to judge but I think for someone like him growing older movie offers and escort work becoming less frequent the fear of the future is scary. New York is a difficult place for non achievers, you may be welcome in the bedroom but not at a social event and that is hard to take when you gave up everything for a life as a sex machine when in the end you don;t even have that. Two films were enough for me, porn is a disgusting avenue to take as it fails to feed your ego and bank account. You can be replaced by the next new face and the comradery is as fake and meaningless as the the sex you pretend to be enjoying.

  64. says

    I was sad to learn of his passing and an aging baby boomer his work in porn was always appreciated I think by those of us that remember the early days when porn was NOT available to gay men. Everything I read about him indicated he was great gay. Sad always when someone takes their life. Mental health is still not being treated in an open forum so people feel that they can get help to prevent such tragedy.

  65. ClumBaby says

    How many have to die? I am still reeling from Adam Faust. All the guys I crushed over for years are disappearing. Today is another sad day. RIP Arpad. You were one hell of a stud.

  66. ratbastard says

    @Nick Angelo,

    Good post.

    ‘New York is a difficult place for non achievers, you may be welcome in the bedroom but not at a social event and that is hard to take…’

    ‘the comradery is … fake and meaningless …’

    *BUMP*

  67. ratbastard says

    @Clumbaby,

    Faust described himself as a ‘fisting top, and into sado-masochism and bondage. He died as a result of heavy crystal methamphetamine use.

    Sounds like he was sweetheart.

  68. Bamajoe says

    Maybe if there were more help for porn stars dealing with any remorse for their choice of doing porn. Or maybe if we’d try to view them as people rather than a piece of meat. I’m sorry for the loss of life , and the fact that I had never had the opportunity to meet the gentleman personally. Rest In Piece.

  69. Francis says

    Because suicide is an epidemic in the gay community? Because this man is a icon in the gay community and one of the representations of what it means to be gay, be masculine and gay and have and enjoy fulfilling gay sex as a man? So yes, it does matter, his life has impacted a lot more people than yours ever has and probably could.

  70. Brian says

    There is a youtube video of several hundred porn stars having killed themselves, died from AIDS and fatal DUI car crashes. About half are gay male porn stars and the other half straight male and female porn stars.

    Most of the deaths have been in the past few years. The video is a slideshow of non pornograpic pic of a few seconds with the name, date of death and cause such as AIDS, Suicide, drug overdose or DUI death.

    Porn stars are taking their lives more. And it’s not just guys doing gay porn it’s guys doing straight porn and gals doing straight porn.

    There are ministries in Califoria and NYC which attempt to reach all porn people to help them get out of doing porn.

    If you want to find the youtube video try a youtube search of ‘so you still want to watch porn’ or close. You’ll find it.

    Doing porn kills. Those in porn have major personality issues and often substance abuse and an overall general poor mental health.

  71. manicpanic says

    @OS2GUY – You say that you “love life so much and never understand why anyone would think life was not worth living” Don’t you realize that 10-15% of the population is either clinically depressed or bipolar? I am bipolar and have seriously thought of killing myself many times and two of my bipolar friends have done just that. That usually explains a suicide – not a bad day at the office or a midlife crisis.

  72. Almir Soares says

    I think it is very sad that Arpad has passed away — he was obviously in a lot of pain.

    I am wondering if anyone knows how he committed suicide since I know living in NYC that there are some people in the gay community that I worry about and I would like to know what potential warning signs could be

  73. reza says

    Actually David Porn Stars are a big part of the gay community. They may not be political motivated but they are also human beings at the end of the day and not pieces of meat.
    I will miss him and am very sorry I did not get to meet him.
    There are thousands of men who commit suicide every year but unless your famous nobody cares. I know it hard but men Straight or Gay need to be able to express their feelings.

  74. LBMHOU says

    David Hearne said “Why are porn stars of general interest to the gay community? Seriously, is this considered part of our culture or common interest?”

    David…maybe it was because he was a GAY PORN actor. Porn is not just for heterosexuals, you know!

  75. Mike says

    Sad ! As a former male escort myself, I can attest to the fact that it can take it`s tollon a person. After awhile , I felt like a piece of meat. My self-esteem went downhill and the shame starts to build. It isn`t productive, and I never even had to do it in front of a camera. During my escort years, I was so lonely, I wanted a relationship but no one took me serious. It was just sex, sex , sex and when you aren`t able to form an emotional and intimate bond with another person, it can have severe psychological effects. Everyone just sees you as a sex object, nothing more. I can`t speak for porn stars, but I know Arpad was also an escort. One thing that bothers me about the gay community, is that so many gay men judge a person on looks. If you`re hot, handsome and well built, you usually don`t have a problem, but if you`re a skinny geek with glasses, nobody gives you a second glance. It`s all so superficial. I`m happy I got out of the escort business unscathed. And I don`t care what anybody says, people doing porn and escorts long for acceptance in a society that frowns upon porn and prostitution.

  76. Luca Spata says

    Incredible … just yesterday after learning the news of his death, and after being shocked with grief, he came to see me tonight in a dream …. it was great we did not sex or anything else, only we looked and I immediately saw in him a strength and a strange sense of peace and security that expressed towards me. He spoke me with irony and hugged me and I’d laugh at him. In the dream I was really good, I really would not want to wake up.
    Thanks Arpad, I hope that wherever you are now, God protect you because also if we so far apart, you was in my opinion a very good and nice person.
    A strong and big kiss for you by Luca from Sicily.

  77. EJC says

    It seems that we all forget that behind the porn star was a beathing, thinking person, with another life but it would appear it was no a happy one, RIP!

  78. LoveMeTypes says

    Most gay “stud” types start to show their age in their 40’s
    — or when they turn to plastic surgery out of desperation. We can probably name a few.

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