UK Teen Hangs Himself After Anti-Gay Bullying

Another teen lost to anti-gay bullying, this time in the UK. 16-year-old Anthony Stubbs' body was found in the woods near his home, six weeks after he had disappeared. He had hanged himself. His mother says it was because of anti-gay bullying:

StubbsStill, grieving Denise Machin believes she knows the reason very well. She blames the bullying girls who hounded him about his sexuality, and his own inner struggle with his feelings.

Denise, 34, says: “Anthony was getting bullied by girls for two years. He would get shouted ‘gay boy’ at, get slapped in the face, come home with his school jumper ripped and even got his phone stolen. He would be upset but pick himself up and go back the next day.

“I spoke to his teachers about it, but Anthony begged me not to get involved because it was making it worse and he’d get embarrassed.”

He had told his mother he was bisexual:

“Anthony was obviously experimenting, finding out who he was.” They reported Anthony missing on November 26, and on December 30 Denise and Charlotte gave an emotional press conference begging the teenager to come home.

But Denise admits now: “The press conference I did was awful — I knew deep down he wasn’t coming back. I just couldn’t feel him in my heart any more. I knew something serious had happened.”

When police found his body, Denise was almost relieved — especially because of the note he left.

It reads: “Well, I’m gone but not completely. I will be watching over you and making sure you make the right choices. And don’t forget me, I’m in heaven looking down. Please don’t grieve and try to move on as best you can, I love you all so very much.’

Comments

  1. Francis says

    Parents are going to have to take their kids out of school. If your child is gender nonconforming, non-heterosexual or cis-gendered and he or she is being bullied and traumatized, take them out of the school and find a way to place them somewhere else or homeschool them. Obviously the school atmosphere worldwide is incredibly anti-gay overall and thus simply going back to school every day to be abused and demoralized and hated cannot continue. I read that this young boy also had a kid and was a dad but was looking at gay porn and was caught once by his mom. Seems like a case of not just bullying but self-hatred and wanting to be straight. Of course, bullying does that to a young boy.

    RIP Anthony Stubbs. Another one down. How many more are going to be taken away from us?

  2. Derrick from Philly says

    This event is as painful as all the rest. The goodbye note makes it unbearable.

    No young person should feel so hopeless, and be in such pain inflicted by a bunch of cruel motha’ f.ckas.

    He believed in an afterlife, and decided he’d be better off there. For him, I pray he’s right.

  3. Jim says

    Francis,

    “Cis-gendered” means that a person is a biologically male or female who presents the same gender as their sex. I think you meant “transgendered.”

    And, no, people shouldn’t have to pull their kids out of school. Instead, school should enforce anti-bullying measures and discipline bullies. After this mother complained to the school, the principal should have crushed the monsters.

  4. says

    Heartbreak. Heartbreak. Heartbreak.

    What is overwhelming is my fear that what we are all witnessing may only be the proverbial tip of the iceberg.How many cases never make it to the public ? How many families lose a loved child and suffer in the silence……..maybe even covering up the true reasons for the suicide ?

    So let’s Stand Up; let’s not be shamed into going back into any closet, whether in Russia or elsewhere.
    These kids need many gay examples as a support mechanism; they need to have the self esteem that they see in other gay men.

    And those vicious vixens …..the gay kids need to keep away from the manipulators.

  5. ratbastard says

    @KSBRIAN,

    That certainly adds some light to this story. Who did he have the baby with? One of the girls harassing him? Assuming this report of him having an infant is accurate.

    Another interesting aspect of this story is he was being ‘bullied’ by girls, which IMO is just as common as bullying by boys, in my observations girls and women can often be even worse than boys and men, but our P.C. obsessed culture often refuse to acknowledge this.

    And I know this is going to get some people’s panties in a bunch, but what kind of home/family life did Anthony have? Is his father around? In these cases it would seem the majority of time it’s always mom morning, speaking with the media, having candle light vigils and so-on. If my child was going through bad times, if he/she made some mistakes, if he/she was being harassed, I would be very much in their lives and being as proactive as possible, especially if I knew he/she were seriously depressed/suicidal, were taking psychiatric meds, and so-on.

    And I’m sorry if this offends some, but really only another male can really appreciate and understand what a young man like Anthony is and was dealing with as they turn from boyhood to adulthood. Mom’s mean well, but they can really only sympathize and try and understand, not truly appreciate and empathize. This is a major problem in our society and similar societies with many broken families. It’s one of the main causes of so much dysfunctional and antisocial behavior especially among boys and young men.

  6. Francis says

    Jim, you’re right, parents theoretically shouldn’t have to pull their kids from class, but at the end of the day, the well-being of that kid comes first. They shouldn’t have to deal with hate on a daily basis, continuously, and wait and hope the principal and teachers do something. But the first step is, of course, a parent emphatic that they WILL NOT allow their child be abused and that something must be done to ensure that they feel comfortable within the halls and classrooms of school. And if nothing is done, you’re going to sue. And parents of LGBTQ children need to talk to the parents of bullies, too and let them know their kids are being a**holes. That’s step one, but you need to have exit strategies.

  7. OMG says

    When does suisde stop being the better alternative?

    So many good people have helped to stop suisides, push back on bullying, and advance human dignity for LGBT. But it never seems to be enough. When is it going to count? When does it really change? What needs to happen?

    Its past sick to read about yet another suiside and the waste of even more potential.

  8. Derrick from Philly says

    “And I’m sorry if this offends some, but really only another male can really appreciate and understand what a young man like Anthony is and was dealing with as they turn from boyhood to adulthood.”

    Ratbastard,

    there is some truth in you total comment, but there are some “fathers” who have threatened to kill their sons for being Gay or Transgender. And probably some Gay boys (especially gender role non-conforming boys) have indeed been murdered for that reason.

    There are “fathers” who tried to beat the Gayness out of their sons. Many Gays and Transfolk who leave home in their early teens leave because their lives are in danger from their fathers, and sometimes their mothers also.

  9. ratbastard says

    @Derrick,

    Yes, I’m of course aware there are fathers who assault their boys for being gay, disown them, and what-not. Goes without saying. There are mothers who do likewise. IT HELPS TO HAVE A RESPONSIBLE FATHER or at least reliable, responsible adult male ‘father-figure’ in a child’s and young adult’s life. Moms can only do so much. It’s the whole yin and yang thing.

  10. Lizzie says

    This is when I wish I could hug and love every single one of these kids.

    I wish horrible guilt and pain on those who tortured this boy. I know it’s not nice, but I hate those girls. I hate the bullies. I wish we could simply reflect back to them the pain and anguish they inflict so they could feel and experience it and beg for forgiveness.

  11. ratbastard says

    And RIP to Anthony, but who reading this doesn’t think becoming a father at 16 [with an 18 year old GF] says a lot about what was going on his life, his home life, his social environment, etc.? Who doesn’t think that maybe this was what really sent him over the edge? I checked some of the British news sites that are reporting on this, and most are extremely casual regarding a 16 year old and 18 year old having a baby and living together to raise a child. It of course is ridiculous, they are both still basically children, although the 18 year old girl is technically an adult. It was common 100 years ago when our societies were far more rural and life expectancies were short, and there was no such thing as welfare [food stamps, housing, heathcare, wic, SSI, SSDI, etc., in the U.S.] and mom and dad and grandparents needed kids and grandkids to help them when they no longer could help themselves.

    And this has NOTHING to do with the availability of birth control, sexual ignorance, even abortion. It has a lot more to do with a girl/young woman who needs a child in order to have something to love that will unconditionally love her back and is under her control, and as a way of keeping a BF around, and I suppose as a way of getting $benefits$. Why do we all just stop kidding ourselves and cut the PC BS. You know what I wrote is basically true.

  12. Craig says

    Yet another story in which the bullies’ identities are deliberately concealed. Why are these criminals never named? The mother should hold another press conference and read the names of the bullies, one by one.

  13. ratbastard says

    @Randy and Craig,

    The ‘bullies’ did not put a rope around Anthony’s neck, Anthony did. I’m not defending the ‘bullies’ but let’s deal with reality here. And Anthony had a lot on his plate for a 16 year old; this also seems lie a recurring theme in these suicides.

  14. Anonymous And Gay says

    RAT…

    My mother was 16 and my dad 18 when they married, I was born just 7 days after my mother’s 17th birthday.

    My parents never took welfare and both worked full time jobs.

    You’re wrong. You’re wrong for making assumptions like this and excusing the bullying.

    But most of all, you’re wrong for parroting the Faux News mindless conservative party line BS.

    You’re projecting assumptions, I can only guess, about yourself.

  15. HowMuchLonger says

    How many more suicides do there have to be, before the people that drive people to suicide are even named ?

    Then again, if you’ve driven someone to suicide, you can make all the excuses you want to, but you know you did it. You can convince yourself it wasn’t your fault, but you know, and someone else knows, the role you played.

    Some people can live with themselves, can live with hiding their guilt and lying about it. That’s what’s really scary to me about this type of thing.

  16. Sad says

    Girls are some of the biggest fvcking cvnts, especially in school. I think they’re even worse than the boys. Nasty little b1tches.

    So sad about this. So much for the UK being the laid back, easy going place it thinks it is.

  17. steve says

    Interesting…I remember getting bullied by girls, in fact my biggest bully was a girl, not for being gay though, just in general. I wonder which sex tends to bully gay men more…girls or guys.

  18. ratbastard says

    @Anonymous And Gay,

    PLEASE…STFU about ‘faux’ news. I’m not interested in your hackneyed talking points. I DO NOT WATCH FOX NEWS.

    COMMONSENSE says a 16 year old boy and 18 year old young woman shouldn’t be having kids. And I don’t really care if they [or your parents] will collect or didn’t collect welfare. But of course VERY FEW kids their age can afford to have and raise a kid on their own, minus considerable public assistance. But the main reason is they are simply too young and immature.

  19. ratbastard says

    @ JackFknTwist,

    I also attended an all boys school for a while, there were effeminate boys who acted stereotypically gay, and guess what? They weren’t bullied. In my experience it’s actually exactly when there’s a co-gender environment that drama and sh*it starts. Boys start becoming afraid girls may think they’re gay, they want to show off for girls, and many girls provoke drama and violence. And the truth in many cases is some girls will tolerate effete gay guys [F-hags and others], generally feel sorry for them behind their backs, and don’t really respect them.

  20. Henry Holland says

    @Huh: Nah, for all his many faults, Rick is a precise and on-point writer, you can tell when BullyKiwi is posting under his name.

    @Sad: the only people that think the UK is “laid back” is Americans whose only exposure to the place is PBS shows. I’ve been there 7 times and each time I get warned “Don’t go to [name of place], they don’t like outsiders” or “Don’t go to that bar, it’s for locals only”. I love the UK, but it’s still horribly class-obsessed, tribal and in a lot of places, still stuck in the 19th Century.

  21. Dylancat says

    I don’t think the bullied should be removed from school – the bullies should. No one should have to be displaced because of the odious actions of others. And at the age of 16, it’s such a shame that others around him didn’t have the sense to speak up for him, even if he were too afraid to do so himself. Sometimes being a bystander is bad as the bullying itself.

  22. Dan B says

    “I’m in heaven looking down.”

    Not to minimize any other factor in play here, but the religion factor should not be overlooked. This boy’s suicide wasn’t merely an expression of despair over this life; he thought there was another, better life awaiting him on the “other side.”
    Speaking for myself, the #1 improvement in my life since giving up Christianity is that I NEVER, EVER think about suicide anymore. Formal doctrinal injunctions against suicide notwithstanding, being a gay Christian made me constantly want to be “absent from the body but present with the Lord.” Now that I accept that this life is all there is, I don’t want to despair or escape somewhere anymore when I feel attacked; instead, I get angry and fight back and deeply desire to EXIST!

Leave A Reply