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Dad Saves Gay Son Trouble of Coming Out with Letter: 'I've Loved You Since You Were Born'


A letter posted on the Facebook page of FCKH8 is getting a lot of attention this morning:


I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me. The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class. We are out, like you now.

I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve love you since you were born.

- Dad

P.S. Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.

While its provenance is at this point unknown, the sentiment is one I'm certain many LGBTQ teens wish they could hear from their own families.

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  1. I wrote about my high school boyfriend in my diary when I was 17. I came home from school and found the pages ripped out so violently that the binding was broken. Apparently my mom found it while cleaning my room. She eventually came around after a few years, but I can still feel the hurt and shame of that day 30 years later. God bless this mom and dad.

    Posted by: Dave | Mar 15, 2013 8:33:38 AM

  2. He's a lucky young man. If only every gay and lesbian child had such parents.

    Posted by: Jack M | Mar 15, 2013 8:37:16 AM

  3. Wow, great way to start the day. Glad this family and letter are getting the attention they deserve.

    Posted by: RONTEX | Mar 15, 2013 8:37:50 AM

  4. What a wonderful post to wake up to -- I'm a little teary-eyed with joy.

    Posted by: kit | Mar 15, 2013 8:38:40 AM

  5. Pretty Cool.............

    Posted by: Tim | Mar 15, 2013 8:40:59 AM

  6. the world is changing indeed :,-)

    Posted by: V-8 | Mar 15, 2013 8:41:58 AM

  7. LGBT. The acronym is not "LGBTQ", but LGBT. If the Q stands for "queer", that's offensive. There are no queer human beings. And if the Q stands for "questioning", LGBT status is not questionable. Why don't we ever hear about "questioning" Straight teens? We need to stop self-stigmatizing and perpetuating the myth of "fluid" sexual orientation.

    Posted by: Stuffed Animal | Mar 15, 2013 8:47:20 AM

  8. That story made me cry a little, and, Dave, your story made me cry a little for different reasons. I'm sorry that happened to you and still affects you to this day.

    Posted by: MT | Mar 15, 2013 8:54:17 AM

  9. Deep in my heart, I believe more and more gay teens and young adults do have moms and dads like this. (this could be a college student living at home . . . )

    Posted by: jpeckjr | Mar 15, 2013 8:57:14 AM

  10. May every child have a father like this young man has.

    Posted by: jamal49 | Mar 15, 2013 9:03:04 AM

  11. mind = blown

    Had to read it a few times before I believed what I was reading. Wonderful father.

    Posted by: Clay | Mar 15, 2013 9:05:26 AM

  12. This makes me so happy. This is exactly what I needed to wake up too. It took me so long to come out to my family and It was a hard thing for my Family to Except and have found it to be a struggle for them still. So this makes me extremely Happy to see that things are getting better. Love goes out to this family.

    Posted by: Terry Gravley | Mar 15, 2013 9:06:15 AM

  13. Please let it be real, please let it be real, please let it be real.

    Posted by: Daniel | Mar 15, 2013 9:06:53 AM

  14. The Dad is sweet and funny and smart and really loves, LOVES, his son.

    Posted by: kodiak | Mar 15, 2013 9:09:23 AM

  15. Haaa AMAZING LETTER!!! :)

    Posted by: danswon | Mar 15, 2013 9:25:47 AM

  16. got a lump in my throat reading this. my experience was more like dave's (at the top of the comment list).

    this kid's so lucky :)

    Posted by: John | Mar 15, 2013 9:25:48 AM

  17. so so so SO wonderful. thankfully there's a world of straight people who are really to embrace all of us, no matter who we are, no matter gay, bisexual, transgendered or queer. it's always been a part of us, and what makes us special. letters like this make me so happy to be around right now, seeing my fellow Queers embraced for who we are, without having to condition and cushion it with any suckups to perceived "normalcy"

    well met, Dad!

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Mar 15, 2013 9:35:39 AM

  18. It was cool of his dad, but I'm not sure they should have waited so long. My parents knew before I told them. And, they were anticlimactically cool about it. In retrospect, the work of fear and anxiety did the damage. Maybe also it was a different time. My parents never spoke about people being gay.

    I think a reluctance to ask a child about it is because we're afraid to offend them with a false accusation. I'd say, telling them that its okay to like whoever they're gonna like, regardless of gender, should be par for the course at this point, and a standard element in the puberty talk. If parents are this open-minded, there's no reason it should get to the stage where the child feels like she/he has to 'come out'.

    Because I went first, I told this to my brother while he grew up, who also was gay. He never had to come out. He just sort of became more and more obviously gay, and the whole family just knew. Gay was a word we were throwing around a lot then in a very accepting manner. That is why I believe my brother is much more comfortable with his sexuality after all these years.


    Posted by: wunderbar | Mar 15, 2013 9:37:40 AM

  19. Many of us could use a mom and dad like these one.

    Posted by: bambinoitalianoba | Mar 15, 2013 9:46:37 AM

  20. How lucky for you, Stuffed Animal, that you were so enlightneded that you never questioned your sexuality. How dismissive of you, Stuffed Animal, to assume that queer is offensive. I questioned my sexuality for years. Once I accepted it, life was great! I identify as queer, it suits me. It has nopthing to do with my sexuality and everything to do with my sense of self. I don't want to be homogenized, pigeon holed or neatly fit into any acceptable "box." I know many other people who identify as queer, for any number of reasons. As for questioning, plenty of straight teens also question their sexuality at one point or another, they just happen to be straight.

    Posted by: Kenneth | Mar 15, 2013 9:55:03 AM

  21. Great post.

    Not to derail it further, but @Stuffed Animal, you are not the final authority on this issue, and you do not have all the answers. Please don't speak for all of us.

    Posted by: BenR | Mar 15, 2013 9:56:07 AM

  22. I can relate to Dave's story about the diary. Something similar happened to me, then I was sent to "reparative therapy" for about a year.

    Posted by: Matt | Mar 15, 2013 10:07:54 AM

  23. P.S. Wish to second the views voiced by BENR.

    Posted by: Matt | Mar 15, 2013 10:09:06 AM

  24. My parents thought I was straight, and were shocked when I told them I was gay. However, they had told me on a couple of occasions growing up that if I were straight or bi they would love me just the same.

    As someone who grew up in a rural conservative region in the midwest with no openly gay people and general hostility towards homosexuality, I consider myself very lucky. If you are a straight parent of a child, you should also make sure they know that your love is unconditional. For me, coming out was still extremely difficult despite hearing this from my parents, but not having to nervously hope and guess whether or not they would support me after coming out made the coming out process a sliver less painful when I did.

    Posted by: Aepol1 | Mar 15, 2013 10:16:14 AM

  25. Awesome on so many levels.....

    Posted by: Tom | Mar 15, 2013 10:25:40 AM

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