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Dad Saves Gay Son Trouble of Coming Out with Letter: 'I've Loved You Since You Were Born'


A letter posted on the Facebook page of FCKH8 is getting a lot of attention this morning:


I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me. The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class. We are out, like you now.

I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve love you since you were born.

- Dad

P.S. Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.

While its provenance is at this point unknown, the sentiment is one I'm certain many LGBTQ teens wish they could hear from their own families.

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  1. Love this dad's response!

    My parents told me they knew as well and when I asked them why they didn't say anything they responded that they wanted me to tell them when I was ready to tell them.

    Posted by: dumbnhung | Mar 15, 2013 5:06:24 PM

  2. He has been blessed by some very supportive loving parents all LGBT children should be that fortunate

    Posted by: jaragon | Mar 15, 2013 5:28:48 PM

  3. I cried, I cried, I cried..!

    This was so beautiful..!..I hope he did not forget the OJ and bread.....LUCKY BOY, LUCKY PARENTS!

    Posted by: BRAINS | Mar 15, 2013 7:15:03 PM

  4. I never "came out" to my parents....I simply started bringing my boyfriend home for Christmas, Thanksgiving and Mother's Day .... On the other hand, my little brother was tormented before making a big deal of coming out and then was upset that my parents weren't traumatized....

    Posted by: Redboy | Mar 15, 2013 8:23:48 PM

  5. My son is gay, he had the courage of letting me know when he was 14 years old. I knew when he was around 4 years old. My son once asked if I had known before, would I have had an abortion. It so happened that i had complications at the time of my pregnancy,and an abortion was highly recommended... I declined, letting the doctors know that it was God's will if this child was to be born, and knowing that the child in me was part of my being and I would love him or her no matter what... I told my son that if I had known, I would still go through bringing him into this world and that I wished all men were as noble as he... I assured him that he is very much loved... Today my son is a matured young man and I can not imagine nor conceive a life without him. I am so glad Nate's dad wrote him that letter, and I wish them all the best... A LOVING MOM

    Posted by: Norma/Mom | Mar 15, 2013 9:16:06 PM

  6. Is Norma/Mom Tim Tebow's mom or a pretender? My Mom asked me to just stay in New York when my brother became born again and didn't want me around his kids. I try to reconnect with my family now but it's hard not to hate them.

    Posted by: markt | Mar 15, 2013 10:43:13 PM

  7. Hey, STUFFED ANIMAL (http://christthegaymartyr.blogspot.com/) The acronym is LGBTQ! Please do NOT leave out the Questioning folks out there. I work with ROSMY (www.rosmy.org) and believe me, while we have youth as young as 11 who identify as L, G, B, or T, there are plenty who just don't know...and Q applies fully.

    Also, "queer" isn't offensive to those who embrace the word for themselves, just like there are those who embrace "dyke" or other "offensive" terms.

    Please realize that our community - the LGBTQ one - is as diverse as all the other communities, the white community, the black community, the Latino/Hispanic...well, you get my drift if you read this.

    Peace <3

    Posted by: Jay M. | Mar 15, 2013 11:10:37 PM

  8. I sure so wish we could get some provenance on this. I agree with the sentiment, but wow, to find out if it's just nicely penned words, or a for real letter to a son would be nice...just saying.

    Peace <3

    Posted by: Jay M. | Mar 15, 2013 11:12:05 PM


    The father totally robbed the kid of the personal experience of having the talk.
    The father robbed the kid of his privacy, and, especially, his right to tell or not tell about his boyfriend


    But to actually BE cool, he should have waited until he SAW the son, and asked him if there was something he WANTED to tell the father.


    Yes, Yes -- the father was very accepting, but THAT IS HIS JOB

    Posted by: Bob | Mar 16, 2013 2:31:20 AM

  10. @Kenneth: While YOU may not find "queer" offensive, I can assure you tens of millions of "us" DO; and like myself, they bristle every time they hear the word! Do I need to remind you for the better part of the last century "queer" has and continues to be one of the most HATEFUL words used to attack millions in the gay community? You may not find the word offensive but millions of us do!

    Posted by: xusmcvet | Mar 16, 2013 2:54:25 AM

  11. Ahhh so loving. Reminds me of the nonchalant parents in the excellent (French) short film "Basketball & Math," who care more about teenager Jerome "eating his cereals" and getting the older brother up to toast the news with a glass of wine ... lol!


    Posted by: Rexford | Mar 16, 2013 4:07:47 AM

  12. Focus, Stuffed Animal, focus and learn. Focus on the joy this letter brought a son and his family! And learn - sexuality is indeed fluid especially during the years we are discovering who we are. For some that fluidity may last a lifetime.

    Posted by: John | Mar 16, 2013 9:06:56 AM

  13. My dad the executive in Westport, CT threatened to shoot my boyfriend when I came out- he was vague on whether or not I was on the to-be-shot list. My partner's family disowned him- top to bottom- and his son. Almost led to suicide. I work with a medical student who was put on the street at age 16 by a family who discovered he was gay, and who has been educated with funds from the Point Foundation. He will be a great physician, as I have striven to be.

    On behalf of the 3 of us, I revel in this. I have surrounded myself with enough open minded people now that I sometimes forget who I have come out to. May the whole world be that way one day.

    Posted by: Rob | Mar 16, 2013 9:21:32 AM

  14. Okay, that made me cry. So amazing.

    Posted by: daws | Mar 16, 2013 5:49:28 PM

  15. Our foster son came out last month and he got the same message.. We suspected, support and expect that all his siblings will embrace which is what happened in our home of white, black , gay , transgendered males.
    What a blessing our kids can be real with us. In the end all you want is your kids to be happy and healthy.
    His biological brother said , " I am shocked my brother is gay" to which we responded "he always has been- you just know about it now and need to be supportive because it is up to him - who he loves".

    Posted by: Theresa | Mar 16, 2013 8:16:23 PM

  16. What grace and love that family shares. Dad giving his boy the space to come out when he was ready. The humor they shared was a big statement too and then the bottom line. You're my son, I love you. What could be nicer. Some of you disagreed on some of it and thats OK. You and your family may work in different ways...cool. For me as a single gay man who adopted my sons, I came out to them. They were all older when we became family. Their responses fell along the same lines of, Oh,
    OK... There is sure a lot more hope and acceptance now than when I was a scared tormented kid. Ain't that great!

    Posted by: Steve | Mar 17, 2013 5:24:00 PM

  17. The father did exactly the right thing!
    He understood the discomfort and anxiety of his son, and intervened to restore the joy.
    In the process, he also affirmed his son's choices.
    Thankful for dads like this. :D

    Posted by: Michael | Mar 18, 2013 9:06:04 PM

  18. Regardless of how you feel about this letter, it is certainly landing on the side of right instead of wrong.

    The man accepts his son.

    That's the point. Not any of this "he robbed him of his privacy, his choice, he's a narcissist, etc." stuff.

    For me, a guy whose father in 1981 said "Don't blame us" and "You'll burn in hell" and whose mother didn't speak to him for weeks and then would not even hug him... Well, it is the complete opposite of my experience. Any son who has a parent that even slightly leans in this direction is, In My Opinion, extremely lucky.

    Posted by: johnny | Mar 19, 2013 9:00:23 AM

  19. For God so loved the world (you) that He gave His only Son, so that all who believe in Him might not perish but have eternal life.

    Posted by: none | Jun 11, 2014 12:12:55 AM

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