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Mormon Mom Who Supported Proposition 8 Later Discovered Her Son is Gay: VIDEO

Familiesareforever

ABC News reports on Families Are Forever, a new 20-minute film premiering at Frameline 37: the San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival this weekend, about a Mormon mother who supported Proposition 8, and then discovered her son is gay:

MomThe discovery shook his mother to the core.

"I felt like what I saw his life would be – what I expected his life to be – as a Mormon boy was now gone," she says in the video. "I saw him preparing for a mission for our church – gone. I saw a temple wedding – gone. I saw him being a father – gone."

Suddenly their son's conflict and depression made sense to the Montgomerys. But the church's view on homosexuality confused her: "God views it as a sin," she says in "Families Are Forever." "But I looked at a boy who had never done anything wrong, a pure innocent child, no way sinning or choosing this."

After leaving the family for several days, Montgomery said she and her husband, after saying a prayer, sat closely on their bed, and asked Jordan directly "Are you struggling?"

"I could feel him start to tremble and he nodded," says Montgomery. "We sat that way for two hours, and I hugged him and said, 'Jordan, this changes nothing. … You are perfect in our eyes. ... We will figure this out.'"

The film was produced by the Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University.

Watch a preview for the film which is the first in a series of short documentaries that "depict the journey of ethnically and religiously diverse families to support their lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children," AFTER THE JUMP...

FAMILIES ARE FOREVER from Family Acceptance Project on Vimeo.

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Comments

  1. I'm still learning to accept myself and I'm old. Kudos to this young man and his mother. They have a journey ahead of them and I wish them the very best.

    Posted by: David Hearne | Jun 21, 2013 12:11:06 PM


  2. I am so proud of San Francisco State for doing this. Great job!

    Posted by: Tom in SF Bay Area | Jun 21, 2013 12:11:26 PM


  3. It's sad that these parents, when hit with this issue personally, start thinking more clearly. If only they could think of others, too -- because isn't that a "christ-like" way of thinking?

    Posted by: Tim M. | Jun 21, 2013 12:15:46 PM


  4. @Tim

    It's easy to say that as an outsider looking in. But when you're trapped inside the box, how can you see things differently unless you're pulled out of it.

    Posted by: Not that Rob | Jun 21, 2013 12:20:52 PM


  5. its' funny - faith can be something that makes a person look up and question the world. organized religion, instead, becomes a force that makes people look down in subservience and question nothing.


    in the "best possible" sense - a religious congregation can be like a good yoga class: you take off the stresses of the week, you relax, you clear your mind, you charge yourself up with positive energy to tackle the upcoming week. faith being something to remind you of the Bigger Picture, to keep things in perspective.

    as we all know, that simply doesn't happen too much with religion. religion is tearing more families apart than it is keeping them together, and this perfectly illustrates why.

    you want to prepare your children for the world they'll be living in - not for the world that didn't even actually exist thousands of years ago.

    and TIM, your point needs repeating: think of Senator Rob Portman: mr "i voted against gay stuff until i found out my own son is gay, now two years after finding out i decided i should support gay marriage, but not protections from anti-gay discrimination.

    some folks championed him. i thought he sounded like a complete idiot.

    and what will his uphill battle be? to get Republican parents to do what he was never able to do as a republican parent, and polician Care About Someone Else's Kid

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jun 21, 2013 12:24:28 PM


  6. Religion - Destroying Families since the beginning

    Posted by: disgusted american | Jun 21, 2013 12:27:58 PM


  7. Just imagine her horror had he killed himself. The Mormon Church is wrong. Now she can spend her time more profitably by readjusting to that. Then to readjusting to a whole lot of other things as well, along with everyone else who thinks that being gay is chosen or that it matters to any real God.

    Posted by: UFFDA | Jun 21, 2013 12:30:29 PM


  8. "Jordan, this changes nothing. … You are perfect in our eyes."

    Beautifully done mom. And don't you worry, we are fighting, and will be, until every American has the right to marry and become a parent if they so choose to. I hope parents like these will be joining the fight as well.

    Posted by: Maguitac | Jun 21, 2013 12:31:56 PM


  9. It's hard to find these stories heart-warming. To me it shows how selfish and what a lack of empathy religious people have. Did this woman not realize the gay men and women she wanted to discriminate against were someone's little boy or girl at one time?

    Posted by: andy | Jun 21, 2013 12:32:22 PM


  10. @andy - she didnt' care. they weren't Mormon's kids so they were going to be slaves in the afterlife, anyway.

    along with all non-Mormons. because Mormons can't have gay kids. Magical underwear protects you. because when you come from a family line where a "small" family has 6 children, there's no WAY the Law Of Numbers will affect you, right?

    you have to remember that when dealing with Mormons you need to lower your standard of expectations for human intelligence and compassion: Mormons don't care about other people. They care only about what other Mormon people think about THEM.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jun 21, 2013 12:35:42 PM


  11. Andy, good comment.

    Posted by: Phil | Jun 21, 2013 12:36:40 PM


  12. so does this mean he's going to remain celibate, i wonder?

    Posted by: peter | Jun 21, 2013 12:45:09 PM


  13. Why is this woman being featured? She did nothing remarkable and is only another example of 'enlightened self-interest' She's not really reformed, they never are. Later in life, she'll still be 'finding a way to accept my son', like being gay is wrong and she just has to learn to live with it.

    Posted by: Robert | Jun 21, 2013 12:50:07 PM


  14. I absolutely believe these parents were wrong to support Prop 8, as andy says, to not see that the people they were discriminating against were someone's children too.

    But to me there is an important fact that separates them from Rob Portman, of whom I was critical. Portman is an elected official there to represent his constituency, not only HIS family. It should be his DUTY to consider others, not just himself and his own children. When you're elected it's not all about YOU!

    Posted by: Caliban | Jun 21, 2013 12:56:52 PM


  15. It's a conversion to the rightful way and I'll take it, even if it came about because of a self centered view. Self centered because the parents were more worried about their own rather than all GLBT people. It's a well known fact that if you love someone that is family or friend, you're much more likely to be supportive of equality, if that person is GLBT. Which is why we all need to be brave by being who we are, living our lives openly, being honest to those who love us, and risking that they will still love us, by coming out.

    Posted by: StevyD | Jun 21, 2013 1:08:40 PM


  16. I agree with Little Kiwi. I have very little sympathy for these parents or for Senator Rob Portman when they discover their children are gay. It's okay to vote away the rights of others but when suddenly it's your own child then they suddenly change position. It's not okay for other people, but gee when it comes to me and mine it's a different story. That attitude is seriously messed up!

    Good for the kid though to stand up to his parents and the evil church he belongs to.

    It took me years to get over the damage the LDS church did to me in growing up.

    Posted by: Brad | Jun 21, 2013 1:16:50 PM


  17. What remains to be seen is how the boy's parents will "figure it out," and how they will act on their conclusions. I wouldn't breathe a sigh of relief yet.

    Posted by: Jack M | Jun 21, 2013 1:17:22 PM


  18. Good story. Not great, but good. The great aspect is, of course, Wendy and Tom Montgomery accepting their son for who he is. The bad part is that they're still immersed in the Mormon church. Jordan is in a Mormon-sponsored BSA troop. The Mormon church is homophobic. This attempt to try to whitewash over that is pathetic. Jordan still has "rocky times" at his school, which is because he goes to a conservative Biblical school.

    The only way any of that will change is with the family removing themselves from the Mormon culture. The thing is with Mormons is, they "love" you for who you are but still see you as a sinner and deviant. The Montgomery family do not see their son Jordan in that way but they're around people who do, and people who don't but will not say that publicly b/c they're in fear.

    I don't think LGBT folk who are religious should simply renounce their religion but there's a schism between most mainstream religions and being LGBT. That's just how it is. So if you're a family with an LGBT child, and you're heavily into the religious world as well, you have to make some tough choices and compromises.

    Posted by: Francis #1 | Jun 21, 2013 1:21:03 PM


  19. You all have to read the whole story linked on the ABC website. I applaud these parents. They were believing what they're church told them to believe, and now they are able to see how wrong they were. And they're coming out publicly on film to share their story and hopefully help change other minds. I think they're great and I think their son Jordan is very lucky to have such loving parents.

    A great quote from the ABC website:

    "I am a better person for having a gay son," she said. "I love differently, and I love more openly. I didn't realize the judgment I had before I realized that having a gay son was a great blessing and not a burden."

    Posted by: Mike. | Jun 21, 2013 1:23:11 PM


  20. I'm inclined to see the beauty of redemption in this. Whatever came before, for whatever reasons, this family is changing--and changing for the better. We as a community aren't going to achieve what we want unless we're willing to forgive those who, though admittedly wrong in the past, now seek to make things right.

    Posted by: Douglas | Jun 21, 2013 1:24:41 PM


  21. Surprising they didn't whip him, then shove him into reparative therapy. Tolerance?! Understanding!? Acceptance?! How christian is that?

    Posted by: SFRowGuy | Jun 21, 2013 1:33:31 PM


  22. the true meaning of the Mormon slogan... "Families Are Forever" - and how far we've come. What beautiful parents. Their son is lucky to have them. And the LDS church is even luckier to have such a loving family reach out and try to heal all the hurt and pain the Mormon church has caused families with gay kids over the years.

    Posted by: Nathan Sanders | Jun 21, 2013 1:37:31 PM


  23. best wishes for them as a family and hopes of the smoothest growth / evolution in dealing with and accepting each other and themselves

    Posted by: Moz's | Jun 21, 2013 1:45:31 PM


  24. I'm inclined to agree with Douglas. "We as a community aren't going to achieve what we want unless we're willing to forgive those who, though admittedly wrong in the past, now seek to make things right. "

    There's a big caveat to this though. There are some Mormons who claim they "accept" gays but also expect, even demand celibacy from them. So long as the Montgomerys truly accept their son as a full human being, able to form sexual and intimate bonds with another male then I welcome their change of heart.

    Posted by: Caliban | Jun 21, 2013 1:55:38 PM


  25. Ya but are the accepting of him only if he remains celibate? If so, NO THANKS!

    Posted by: Gigi | Jun 21, 2013 2:04:10 PM


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