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Dan Savage On The Risks Of Being Monogamish: VIDEO


In the latest installment of his "Ask Anything" videos for Andrew Sullivan's The Dish, Dan Savage divulges what he thinks is the most dangerous part about being in a "monogamish" relationship, that is, a relationship in which, "you're mostly monogamous, with a little squish around the edges."

Watch the video AFTER THE JUMP...


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  1. I am rapidly getting sick of this clown voicing his damn opinion every two seconds. Dan says which cereals are gay-approved. Dan says blurting out every detail of his sex life across time and space is embarrassing the kid he bought. Dan denies being a media whore to every TV and Radio, blog, vlog, flog, tabloid, chat room, high school reporter and knitting circle. Enough Dan effing Savage already.

    Posted by: Bollux | Jul 2, 2013 4:49:55 PM

  2. Who died and made this idiot the spokesperson for us? I've been with the same man for over 15 years and yes, we've been totally monogamous the entire time... and the sex is better NOW then it's ever been.

    Posted by: Matt | Jul 2, 2013 5:44:46 PM

  3. Dan treats sex like a bodily function, complete with bad odors. Hey, when you gotta go, you've gotta go. It's only natural...for animals too.

    Posted by: UrNumber | Jul 2, 2013 5:50:43 PM

  4. Dude looks ill. Wonder what's eating him?

    Posted by: Zeta | Jul 3, 2013 12:03:48 AM

  5. @UrNumber, that's the perfect way of putting it.

    Posted by: Zeta | Jul 3, 2013 12:04:53 AM

  6. UrNumber,

    That's a cool analogy. And I think for many people (like me!) it IS a bodily function.

    Had I not met my husband--we've been together for 6.5 years, now--I may never have realized that some men think differently. We had a relationship crisis a year ago and we almost broke up and because of the emotional devastation involved, he refused sex for EIGHT months! He doesn't NEED it the way I do. I was dying.

    Posted by: redball | Jul 3, 2013 2:29:34 AM

  7. Whatever works....

    Posted by: jamal49 | Jul 3, 2013 1:25:00 PM

  8. nobody "died and made Dan Savage the leader" - he has stated, so many times, that his role as "spokesperson" is entirely by default.

    i don't see the complainers stepping up to be Visible and Vocal.

    here's how you do it: click "record" on your camera, make statements, post to youtube or vimeo or embed into your own blog.

    PRESTO! now you can be the spokesperson for what you want people to see and hear.

    care to join in?

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jul 3, 2013 3:14:19 PM

  9. How did Dan Savage become a spokesperson for the gay community? He's been working at it for 15 fvcking years, unlike your "superior" ass.

    You don't like the way he does it? Well step right up and show us how it's done!

    Seriously. If you think that you can speak for the gay community without also being attacked by the same people you're defending you are sadly mistaken. You will either be too femme or your masculinity will be judged fake. There IS no winning. No matter what you do, it's wrong.

    I'll tell you one thing though. Joe Solomnese had all the "right" degrees and was absolutely useless. Activists are born, not made, and unless you're willing to step up the plate yourself maybe you should STFU.

    Posted by: Caliban | Jul 3, 2013 8:25:46 PM

  10. Nearly all heterosexuals are monagamish. they just lie about it constantly. The day they start selling a home paternity kit in Walgreens is the day heterosexual marriage implodes.

    Posted by: Chaz | Jul 4, 2013 12:40:13 PM


    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jul 4, 2013 12:47:39 PM

  12. I would rather be in an open relationship that is honest than a "monogamous" one that is not.

    Posted by: Chadd | Jul 5, 2013 10:38:47 PM

  13. I 100% whole-heartedly agree with Chris!!! If being in an open relationship (not monogamish: lol silly Dan Savage making up words) works for the both of you then fine. But, NOM IS NOT RIGHT! We have not birthed polygamy, as it is a part of human sexuality. I am so tired of non-monogamy being touted as the domain of gay men. We can be monogamous and heterosexuals, bisexuals, transgender, etc. can be non-monogamous. As much as people want to think, sex can never be casual: it has many different consequences. That doesn't mean sleep with one person you're whole life. But just because you find someone attractive or fantasize about them, does not mean you should have sex with them. If monogamy doesn't work for you, then don't do it! But if you and your partner want to have an 'open marriage', then that's your business! And shocker: straight people have been doing it for years!!!

    Posted by: Matt | Jul 10, 2013 2:38:24 PM

  14. Open relationship works GREAT for my man and I. It's saved our relationship with the honesty promoted in it

    Posted by: J | Jul 12, 2013 11:50:23 AM

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