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Ryan James Yezak is Tired of Being Told to 'Be Masculine' on Grindr: VIDEO

Yezak

The Gay Rights Movement documentarian has a few things to say about his recent visit to the world of Grindr.

Check it out, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Comments

  1. Dude, DECAF!! No more multiple edits (or overdubs) for you!

    Posted by: Dback | Aug 9, 2013 12:23:03 PM


  2. Brilliant! Thanks for sharing that, Andy. And that from someone who always puts "masculine" in his on-line posts. . . .

    Posted by: Ken | Aug 9, 2013 12:36:56 PM


  3. i think he's taking things a little too far... i mean, people are attracted to what they are attracted to. if you prefer guys who are "masculine", that's your right to be. "be masculine" is implying that they want to have sex with or meet guys they define as masculine... aka are attracted to. he's reading it as a demand, when i think its really just stating a preference...

    i'm all for people being who they want to be... however they define it... but don't get angry when you being you doesn't meet someone else's standards of attraction.

    he's right about being yourself and you'll find someone who loves you exactly as you are.

    Posted by: d | Aug 9, 2013 12:39:35 PM


  4. Asking for masculine is just a more polite way of saying they don't want effeminate guys or lady boys. Deal with it.

    Posted by: Bart | Aug 9, 2013 12:42:45 PM


  5. We all know what "masculine" is code for: residual self-loathing. There's too much of that floating around, and there are plenty of bromos to play with their trucks in the sandbox. But there's only one Ryan James Yezac, and be your fine self.

    Posted by: Christopher | Aug 9, 2013 12:42:48 PM


  6. why the hyper-editing??? i think he wants to give people seizures or something. that's the only possible reason for so much editing.

    Posted by: froggy | Aug 9, 2013 12:48:42 PM


  7. This and other queens who get offended by people saying they are only interested in guys who are masculine or straight acting need to get over themselves and stop being so easily offended. If you don't like a guy who wants that in a guy he dates or hookups with, then don't message or talk to him.

    Posted by: Jonathan | Aug 9, 2013 12:48:44 PM


  8. Sex apps are for trashy behavior...we've all used it for that.. Stop acting like you're "networking" for your career or whatever unless your career is knob polishing.

    Posted by: Jerry | Aug 9, 2013 12:49:59 PM


  9. Made it through 25 seconds of that annoying editing style.

    "but don't get angry when you being you doesn't meet someone else's standards of attraction"

    Yep.

    Posted by: Henry Holland | Aug 9, 2013 12:50:32 PM


  10. His point is that the word "masculinity" is fraught. What does it mean to state a preference/requirement for masculine men? Aren't all gay men by default non-masculine because they aren't straight (if we think of heterosexuality as a masculine quality, which most people do)?

    Posted by: Luke | Aug 9, 2013 12:51:27 PM


  11. A masculine facade that a self hating gay guy uses is no different than a flamboyant facade an insecure gay guy uses. It will take equal parts:

    Tolerance: People are how they are and most words used to describe them are loose and subjective, like masc, etc.

    Acceptance: That people will also like who they like and to be ok with that. Do not internalize the rejection and become a counter to a perceived force, that's silly. (Kiwi fits this bill, and I bet he isn't rejected much, but never the less internalizes rejection when he perceives it.)

    Growth: All parties need to always remember that they are total idiots that arent even sure how or why they like things. IE: Force yourself to find attraction in places you previously decided are unattractive. Attraction like music is a subjective thing in your brain, you can make yourself like any song just like you can make yourself attracted to flamboyant guys, black guys, asian guys, trans guys. These things are decisions you make and then do not confront, just confront them and you will open up and have a waaay bigger dating pool.

    Posted by: Fenrox | Aug 9, 2013 12:51:50 PM


  12. It's a good point, from a laughable starting place ("be masculine" in a hook-up ad is NOT the social indictment he's ranting against), and most of all - REALLY? - is that kind of crazed video style appealing to anyone??

    I don't think it was particularly fitting to the subject matter, and I don't think that works even for the supposed ADHD generation (which I presume is the demographic of the grindr clientele).

    Posted by: Zlick | Aug 9, 2013 12:51:52 PM


  13. The truth will set you free. And that goes for all those miserable heterosexual men, too. It's not about the gays: it's about you, guys: you CAN be happy too.

    Posted by: Chaz | Aug 9, 2013 12:55:27 PM


  14. Maybe he should get off Grindr.

    Posted by: S. | Aug 9, 2013 12:58:19 PM


  15. He lost all credibility when he said "Gay and voting for Mitt Romney".

    Posted by: Howard | Aug 9, 2013 12:59:42 PM


  16. He needs to be less feminine. :-)

    Posted by: Sargon Bighorn | Aug 9, 2013 1:00:46 PM


  17. he's totally exaggerating the way he talks

    Posted by: Cyberman | Aug 9, 2013 1:02:49 PM


  18. Howard

    That video is ridiculing gays who vote for Mitt Romney.

    Posted by: Brian in Texas | Aug 9, 2013 1:26:45 PM


  19. Oh, my. Rick hasn't commented about the "culture of effeminacy" yet. He must still be asleep.

    Maybe he won't wake up.

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Aug 9, 2013 1:35:06 PM


  20. great video and on point. i liked it.

    Posted by: mike128 | Aug 9, 2013 1:38:20 PM


  21. I'm tired of all my friends being on Grindr.

    Betch, I didn't invite you out and buy you a cocktail so you could bury your face in a smart phone the whole time.

    Posted by: crispy | Aug 9, 2013 1:38:29 PM


  22. Why is he on Grindr in the first place? Nothing but self-involved, judgmental guys in the first place.

    Posted by: Jack M | Aug 9, 2013 1:41:57 PM


  23. The larger point is that a lot of gay and bisexual men are obsessed with validating themselves as men (hence the obsession with 'masculinity') because of the continuing prevailing view that being gay makes one less of a man. On the flip side, a lot of more feminine gay men feel the need to put on an act because they've been forcefed stereotypes that being a caricature who acts like a 12 year old girl is what being a gay man is.

    In general, the paranoia and obsession with being accepted/validated by STRAIGHT people is pretty strong in the LGBT community by and large. If you're masculine, great, if you're feminine, cool. If your entire identity is based on you seeing yourself or being masculine/feminine, then you have some issues to address. If you feel the need to put down others because they don't live to what you believe they should as LGBT person should lead, then you have issues to address. Be yourself, be comfortable in who you are, and don't place rules on others.

    Posted by: Francis #1 | Aug 9, 2013 1:46:32 PM


  24. He can rant all he likes. Effeminacy isn't an attractive quality in a man to the vast majority of people - gay, straight, male or female. No amount of ranting and raving will change that. A small percentage of gay men do find it an attractive quality, so he should seek out those few people.

    Also, why does a guy who cares about gay equality use an app that commercializes and commodifies gay sexuality? He seems to be pretty clueless about what genuine gay equality would look like.

    Posted by: James | Aug 9, 2013 1:48:15 PM


  25. So trite.

    Yeah, it's awful to be held to a masculinity standard, but it's a hookup app -- not a social justice app. Screeching about how awful people are won't change them. Focus on having flings with decent people and move along from those masculinity demanding folks. Pretty simple.

    That is unless you secretly only want those butch guys too, but they reject you, so you find a way to reject them back?

    Posted by: Jesse | Aug 9, 2013 1:55:30 PM


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