Long Island Mom Won’t Let Her ‘Innocent Son’ Attend Birthday Party for Girl with Two Gay Dads

(edited image via huffpost)

Prejudice is taught, and this week's lesson comes from a mom in Baldwin, NY who would not let her son attend his seven-year-old classmate's birthday party.

The mother's note went viral this week after it was printed on the K-98.3 Facebook page.

It reads:

Tommy will NOT attend. I do not believe in what you do and will not subject my innocent son to your "lifestyle." I'm sorry Sophia has to grow up this way. If you have an issue or need to speak to me: [number erased]

Since the note was originally printed with the woman's phone number visible, we'll bet she got quite a few calls about it.

UPDATED: The story is a hoax.

Dear K-98.3 Listeners,

On Wednesday, we told you the story of Sophia's birthday party, and one parent's objection to the same-sex household of Sophia's parents. We also posted the invitation on our Facebook page, and invited comments from our followers.

This story was, in fact, totally fictitious, and created by the two of us. This was done without the knowledge of K-98.3 management or ownership.

We were attempting to spur a healthy discourse on a highly passionate topic, but we made a mistake by misleading our listeners into thinking that this specific situation actually existed.

We are very sorry that we perpetuated this falsehood, even after it was clear that it had taken on a 'life of its own.' We deeply apologize for violating your trust, and we will work hard to regain that trust.


Steve & Leeana


  1. Jonster says

    Why print the phone number?

    I think “gotcha’s” like this would be more effective if they showed the offensive quotation without the opportunity for those of us who have appointed ourselves “gay police” to phone them up and harass them.

  2. Mike Ryan says

    Tommy is the one we need to feel compassion for. Imagine growing up with such a bigoted narrow-minded mother? His life will be one of sad bitterness. As for Sophia – best wishes on your birthday sweetie. Your tie-dye party will be the best 7th birthday you will ever have! What a lucky little girl you are to have two dads who shower you with so much love!

  3. John says

    This makes me sad. I have many friends who have created wonderful families. I can only imagine that they were excited to plan their daughter’s party with every detail meant to create a fun environment for the kids. To receive such a response must be heartbreaking. While we know hate still exists, it doesn’t make it any less painful to experience first hand.

  4. darren says

    it is unforunate that tommy does have to live with this type of mentality..not only is his parent teaching him some pretty screwed up ideals but he will grow up with a very different idea of how the world is changing daily.
    additionally why do gay men always feel that there must a “story”..a hoax connected to this..reading this seems not too far off every second story we read in every newspaper round the world.
    i think it sad so many gay men are soooo jaded and bitter and cant just read something for what it is without turning it into something else.

  5. Jon says

    It’s sad that this mother won’t let her son go to the party, but it’s even sadder that this private correspondence between two sets of parents got into the hands of the media. Can’t adults work through things now-a-days without making a big Media Field Day out of everything?

    Folks need to start acting like adults and stop running to the media and legal system for every little thing. Work it out, people!

  6. scott says

    I don’t know if it’s a hoax or not, but I grew up on the south shore of Nassau County, Long Island – not too far from Baldwin – and I can say unequivocally that it has the ring of truth.

    Also: the lady’s phone number was published. If this was a hoax, it would have been established immediately. Either the number is nonworking or the person who owns it would be screaming his/her innocence. That has not happened.

  7. DC Insider says

    Poor mom. Imagine going through life so fueled by hatred and ignorance? Imagine waking each day with this disease. Imagine the poor child who has to listen to this drunken idiot on a regular basis. Just because you CAN have children doesn’t mean you SHOULD have them.

  8. Charles says

    Yeah, I’m smelling a hoax here, too. It’s just too perfect, right down to the scare quotes around “lifestyle”. If it’s real, well, it’s just sad. I guess we’ll find out the truth soon enough…

  9. Quicksilver says

    We have been burned on notes like this too many times. I will wait until it is vetted as real. Yes, she may have left a number and email. But even that seems a bit odd. Why would they invite children to the party whose parents they don’t know well and already have contact info for? This woman could have easily just said “you know how to get in touch with me”.

    Time will tell. But until then, skeptical switch on.

  10. MrRoboto says

    It does, indeed, smell like a hoax. Supposedly the radio station asked the mother if they could publish her phone number and she said yes, but everyone calling it got a mechanical answer over a VOiP line, and the box was never full. I’ve not yet seen a single instance of someone supposedly reaching and speaking to the mother.

    If true, an instance of pure evil.

    If a hoax, these kind of examples of fake bigotry do nothing to help us, when there a plenty of clear examples that are ignored and neglected every day.

  11. Mike Ryan says

    @ JAMAL49 – quite a few posters here say it is a hoax, is made up, is not real, is fake … (how jaded have we become?)

    HuffPro spoke to one of the two Dads yesterday and the written response is real. Perhaps if they do a Skype with the guy and post that the naysayers will be convinced?

  12. enchantra says

    Quicksilver – Kids today are expected to invite everyone in their classroom to their birthday party, lest they be accused of marginalizing, excluding, being selective or mean

  13. BRIAN says

    @MIKE RYAN… Everyone interviewed the waitress with the hoax receipt and she said it was real too. So. Forgive me if I’m jaded and have a problem taking anyone’s word for it nowadays.

    If you’re going to go through the trouble of taking a photo of the bigoted comments, tell us who the offender is. We’ll take it from there. How can you expect to challenge the behavior if we have no one to protest to?

    Blind faith no longer works in these situations.

    Furthermore, bigotry still exists. Simple-minded people are a way of life in America. Unless this “bigot” walked up to Sophia and threw the Bible at her and said she and her family are going to hell… just suck it up and quietly throw the invitation away.

  14. JJ says

    @Jon, posting something on Facebook that finds its way to a radio station through the grapevine is hardly “running to the media.”

    @Quicksilver, parents don’t contact only other parents they know to set up a party for a seven-year-old. Sometimes they send the child to school with invitations for her to hand out. It’s not a stretch to think that this one came back with a nasty note.

  15. Bernie says

    not only is the mother ignorant and mean spirited, but one has to feel sorry for her child and wonder how he will grow up not being exposed to the real world and its diversity……and if the mom did have issues, why couldn’t she be polite and just say no??!!?!? and, of course, she calls herself a “Christian” and her behavior is far from being Christian, especially when children are concerned

  16. Morgan Newton says

    If I received something like this, I most certainly would blog it, tweet it, Facebook it; put it everywhere I could with the hashtags rude & homophobe. If the media finds it, they find it. If you can’t keep your mouth shut and simply decline the invitation, then the person on the receiving end of the rude comments absolutely has the right to call them out on it. I would, however, have the decency to obscure the phone number. The last thing you need is someone calling them up and having the kid have to hear his moms an a**hole; if he doesn’t already know it, he will in time.

  17. says

    It’s interesting how Beth chooses to make a point of letting the two dads ‘understand’ how wrong they re, to the point of even leaving her phone number. Is that because she sincerely believes she can talk them out of their ‘misguided’ ways, take a holy grail stand on ‘correct’ parenting, a stand against same sex liasons or because she is daring you to prover her wrong?

    Really do two children playing together care if one parent approves or disapproves of another’s lifestyle? Isn’t this in essence how children end up growing thwarted in the first place?


  18. Quicksilver says

    @enchantra Yo, idjit. Remember the part where I said it was a fishy fake? Yeah, turns out I was completely right. I don’t care what kids today are expected to do or not. I wouldn’t invite a single person into my house or to an event that I didn’t know quite well, especially being a gay person. It only takes one ignorant or nasty-minded parent to say, “you touched my kid”. Plus, sending out random invitations looking for gifts is crass and stupid. Well, this was Long Island. But moreover, this was a total hoax.

Leave A Reply