The Onion News Network with breaking campaign news:
"Rick Santorum, a staunch opponent of gay marriage, launched a bold coalition today called 'Americans Protecting Marriage from Homosexual Jerks Like Nick Wiseman'. In an interview with the Boston Beacon, Santorum said 'Gay men like Nick Wiseman are endangering the institution of marriage in this country by breaking the hearts of men who have done nothing but love them with their entire souls just so they can run off with some stupid muscle-bound slut.'"
Watch, AFTER THE JUMP…
