It has been a little over a month since the Supreme Court decided not to hear the gay marriage cases before it – bringing marriage equality to 13 new states and thousands of same-sex couples across the nation (with more states on the way). We also received word yesterday of the Sixth Circuit upholding gay marriage bans in Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, Tennessee which, while not good news on its own, opens the door for SCOTUS to take up the gay marriage question and decide the issue nationwide once and for all.
With the public's spotlight so focused on LGBT issues this past month, a lot of crazy anti-gay bigots came crawling out of the woodwork to direct their anger at us for everything from the SCOTUS marriage decision to the ebola outbreak. Some of the comments were violent and incendiary. Others were just plain ridiculous. But all came from a mindset operating under the idea that LGBT people are somehow less deserving of equal rights and fair treatment.
It's tough to rank these anti-LGBT morons, but we gave it our best shot.
Florida Governor Rick Scott
Same-Sex Couples Shouldn't Get Married, But Don't Blame Me
A perfect example of a politician playing election-year politics with LGBT rights, Florida Gov. Rick Scott continues to hide his fight against marriage equality behind Attorney General Pam Bondi – claiming he "doesn't have a thing to do with" the state's fruitless efforts wasting taxpayer money defending the gay marriage ban. The absurd claim didn't sit well with Miami anchor Michael Putney, who lit into Scott on-air for his "appalling" refusal to take responsibility for preventing same-sex marriage. I guess if you're going to be a bigot, you should at least have the chutzpah to own up to it.
UK Pastor Sam Allberry
Same-Sex Couples Marrying are Like Gangs Robbing Banks
Although Southern Baptist leader Russell Moore denounced "ex-gay" therapy at the denomination's conference on homosexuality last week, there were still plenty of speakers in attendance who, as Moore put it, "have lived in a gay and lesbian context." One such speaker was Sam Allberry, a self-described "conservative, reformed evangelical with same-sex attractions." Allberry posed the question "Isn't a same-sex partnership okay if it's faithful?" to the audience and responded in part with the following analogy: "Take a slightly silly example but imagine a gang of bank robbers. A particular member of that gang may display impeccable loyalty to his fellow gang members during the course of robbery. He may look out for them. He may protect them. He may make sure that everyone gets a fair share of the takings. But none of this in any way lessens the immorality of the act itself. Just because he's a loyal thief, doesn't make his thievery right." Oy
South Carolina GOP Candidate Anthony Culler
Gay Couples are 'Bullies' and 'Gremlins' That Will 'Destroy Our Way of Life'
Republican Party candidate for South Carolina's 6th congressional district Anthony P. Culler took to Facebook last week to voice his displeasure with the Supreme Court gay marriage decision and the LGBT "bullies" who were infecting the nation with the "pestilence" of marriage equality. Wrote Culler, "Do not buy the "cuteness" and "What will it hurt?" arguments whispered in your ears and marketed to our children. Same-sex couples that seek to destroy our way of life and the institution of marriage are NOT cute and cuddly but rather (for those of you that are old enough to remember the movie), Gremlins that will only destroy our way of life." Culler later lost his race.
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott
Gay Marriage Bans Reduce Out-of-Wedlock Births
Texas AG (and newly elected governor) Greg Abbott was really scraping the bottom of the anti-gay barrell last month trying to find legally justifiable reasons for why the state's gay marriage ban should be upheld. In a brief filed to the Fifth Circuit, Abbott asserted the ban should remain in place because preventing gays from marrying somehow reduces the number of out-of-wedlock births. According to Abbott, this somehow fulfilled the "rational basis" review of Texas' gay marriage ban.
Right-Wing Commentator Erick Erickson
'Fat Lesbians' are to Blame for Lack of Ebola Vaccine
If you ever wondered what Christmas Story schoolyard bully Scut Farkus would act like all grown up, look no further than right-wing commentator Erick Erickson. In a post over at the conservative rag RedState, Erickson said that instead of blaming GOP-led budget cuts for contributing to the CDC's hampered ability to handle the ebola outbreak, people should instead be directing the blame at "fat lesbians." This because the National Institute of Health conducted a study on the relationship between sexual orientation and obesity.
Check out the rest of the countdown, AFTER THE JUMP…
Bigoted Idaho Couple Melanie and Justin Sease
A Small Town Crusade Against Homosexuality in a Hate-Covered Truck
If you haven't met the Seases – Idaho's most outspoken anti-gay couple, you owe it to yourself to check 'em out. Mild-mannered Melanie and Kip Dynamite look-alike Justin are just your average, everyday bigoted couple who chose to take a stand against gay marriage "for all the people out there who feel they can't do the same." They've even begun driving around in a car painted with phrases like "HOMOSEXUALITY is a sin & a abomination", "Just Say NO to Gay Marriage", and "GOD'S NOT DEAD" Said Justin, "The Bible says that when homosexuality is publicly accepted, basically it spreads like a cancer." Who knew cancer was first mentioned in the Bible?
Russian Newscaster Oksana Boyko
The Anti-gay Propaganda Law is About Preserving Cultural "Heteronormitivity" Rather Than Criminalizing Homosexuality or Perpetuating Discrimination
RT host Oksana Boyko got more than she bargained for when she invited openly gay Irish senator David Norris onto her program to discuss Russia's draconian anti-gay propaganda ban. Norris wasted no time in bringing up the "dishonest" campaign that the Russian Orthodox Church and lawmakers have led in trying to "protect children" with the country's anti-gay 'propaganda' ban, but when Boyko attempted to explain that the ban was perhaps just a way for the country to protect its cultural "heteronormativity," Norris shot back in spectacular fashion. Check out the fireworks here.
Wingnuts Pat Buchanan, Linda Harvey and Peter LaBarbera
Massive 'Civil Disobedience' Needed in the Fight Against Gay Marriage
Former MSNBC host and "culture warrior" Pat Buchanan, right-wing nutbag Linda Harvey and Americans for Truth About Homosexuality president Peter LaBarbera all called on Christians to rise up in mass "civil disobedience" against the Supreme Court's gay marriage decision. These three are more than likely blowing smoke out their asses, but it can't hurt to be on the lookout for roving gangs of lawless Christians who are upset you've got equal rights now.
Sentences Eight Men to Three Years in Prison For 'Inciting Debauchery' By Appearing In Gay Wedding Video
Proving that there is still a great deal of work to be done on the global front in terms of LGBT equality, an Egyptian judge sentenced eight men to three years in prison on charges of spreading indecent images and inciting debauchery for appearing in a video allegedly showing the country's first gay wedding ceremony. The men were also forced to undergo humiliating physical examinations as part of the investigation. Sadly this is just the latest example of the government's efforts targeted LGBT people in the country.
Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX)
I Still "Love My iPhone" Despite Apple CEO Tim Cook Coming Out as Gay
In a discussion on CNBC's Squawk Box last week, firebrand Texas Senator Ted Cruz was asked to weigh in on Tim Cook's newly minted status as Apple's openly gay CEO. Said Cruz, "Those are his personal choices. I’ll tell you, I love my iPhone." I'm sure Cook is relieved to hear it.
Liberian Conservatives and Christians
Ebola Was Sent by God to Punish Gays, So Let's Harass Them
Whether it's hurricanes, floods, droughts, or viruses, the LGBT community has the unfortunate tendency to become the scapegoat whenever s**ty things happen around the world. A perfect example of this is in Liberia, where right-wing and religious leaders are justifying LGBT harassment by claiming ebola was "sent by God to punish sodomy" in the country. Said Amnesty International rep Francois Patuel, "Amnesty has received pictures of cars that reportedly belong to gays with their windows smashed as well as reports that gays have been forced from their homes and had to go into hiding," Some church ministers are even asking for the death penalty for homosexuality.
Bigoted Idaho Wedding Chapel Owners Should Flee the Coming 'Onslaught of Homosexual Behavior'
One of the few men who could give Louie Gohmert a run for his crazy money, televangelist Pat Robertson had quite the meltdown after hearing about the Christian-owned Idaho wedding chapel fighting the city of Coeur d'Alene's non-discrimination ordinance protecting gays. Robertson warned the chapel's owners to flee the coming "onslaught of homosexual behavior" in the state or risk having to perform gay marriages in the near future. The city later determined that the for-profit chapel could go ahead and discriminate against gay customers anyway based on the owners' anti-gay religious beliefs, so Robertson's dire warning (like his numerous doomsday predictions over the years) was ultimately unfounded.
NOM President Brian Brown
Electing a Gay Republican to Congress Would Damage the GOP for "Decades"
In one of the more bizarre moments from the anti-gay camp last month, National Organization for Marriage president Brian Brown started robocalling California's 52nd congressional district to encourage voters to re-elect pro-LGBT Democrat Scott Peters rather than vote for openly gay GOP hopeful Carl DeMaio – who Brown warned would "damage" the Republican Party for "decades" if elected. With a mere 752 votes separating DeMaio from Peters and an estimated 46,000 vote-by-mail and provisional ballots still to be counted, Brown is likely on pins and needles worrying about the future of his beloved anti-gay party.
Idaho State Senator Steve Vick
Ban All Marriage Licenses Now that Gays Can Marry
Reminding us all of that kid on the playground who'd rather take his toys home than share with everyone else, Idaho state Senator Steve Vick was none too pleased with the Ninth Circuit's decision opening up marriage rights for same-sex couples in his state. His totally level-headed response, as he explained to WorldNetDaily, is a proposal "eliminating marriage licenses in Idaho" for all couples – gay and straight alike. What a guy.
Democrats 'All Out Assault' on Marriage and Religion is the Cause of 'National Angst'
Conservative radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh devoted a segment of his October 20th program trying to pinpoint the source of our so-called "national angst" and (shocker)…it turns out it's all the Democrats' fault. Said Limbaugh, "They've attacked every one of these institutions – marriage, religion, science, education. You name it, they have leveled an all-out assault on these things. Standards have deteriorated, morality is no longer allowed to be defined or used. Nobody is allowed to pass judgement on what's obviously right or wrong. There's no foundation. There aren't any guardrails anymore." Limbaugh, for those still counting, is currently on his fourth marriage. He's also previously asserted that "if you believe in God, you can't believe in manmade global warming."
Young People Support LGBT Rights Because the Gay Community Has 'Silenced the Church'
Speaking to hate leader Tony Perkins, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum claimed the anti-gay lobby was losing the battle over LGBT rights because activists had "effectively silenced the church on a lot of those issues and young people don't even know what the opposing view is on these issues." That…or young people know what bigotry looks like when they see it. My money is on the latter.
Anti-gay Las Vegas Wedding Chapels
We Won't Marry Same-sex Couples
The "sanctity" of marriage isn't often invoked by Las Vegas wedding chapel owners, but it was in the wake of Nevada's gay marriage ban being overturned. 8NewsNow found a number of wedding venues refusing to perform weddings for same-sex couples, such as the 24-hour Vegas Wed Chapel. Said owner Dolly Deleon, “I would be a hypocrite if I said I’m a Bible-believing person and yet I would perform marriage that I believe is solely against God’s law.” Drunk tourists and celebrity weddings are presumably a-ok though…
Wingnut Virginian Eugene Delgaudio
Warns Gay Men Will 'Terrorize Daycare Centers' to "Pick Out a Little Boy For Themselves'
Eugene Delgaudio, the Virginia wingnut who previously warned TSA pat-downs at the airport were part of the government's efforts to promote the 'homosexual agenda,' was understandably furious at gay marriage's arrival in the Old Dominion state last month. In a fundraising email sent with the subject “They say you support homosexual ‘marriage,’” Delgaudio explained that because of the “homosexual agenda,” Virginians will soon “see men hand-in-hand skipping down to adoption centers to ‘pick out a little boy for themselves.”
Former Reagan Aide Douglas MacKinnon
Southern States Need to Secede to Stop the Spread of Gay Rights
Former Reagan Administration aide Douglas MacKinnon has the perfect solution to help bring back "traditional" values in America and stop the spread of LGBT equality – secession! Speaking to right-wing radio host Janet Mefferd, MacKinnon laid out his bold plan of action including where the rebellion needs to start (South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida) as well as what he thinks this new nation should be called ("Reagan"). If Mike Huckabee and Pat Robertson ever decide to hammer out the logistics on how to create their own bigot splinter nation, this will be the guy they call up.
American Family Association Spokeshater Bryan Fischer
"The Mark of the Beast Today is the Rainbow Flag"
Rarely does an event occur in the world of LGBT rights without AFA spokeshater Bryan Fischer opening his grease hole and spouting a dose of bigoted nonsense. So it was no suprise that he was none too pleased to hear last month that the Human Rights Commission in Lexington, Kentucky had declared that a Christian-owned printing company could not discriminate against gay customers wanting a gay pride t-shirt made. Fischer boldly declared that the rainbow flag the "Mark of the Beast today" and that the owners were literally being turned into slaves by not being allowed to discriminate against gays. This isn't the first time Fischer has voiced his displeasure with the rainbow either. Over the summer, Fischer came out against Burger King's limited edition Pride-themed burger because the rainbow wrapper reminded him too much about gay sex.
Newly Elected Colorado State Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt
Gay People 'Want You to Disobey God So You Go To Hell With Them'
Colorado state house candidate and homophobic nutjob Gordon Klingenschmitt was another bigot to sound off on the Lexington t-shirt story, telling his kooky viewers that gay people "want your soul. They won't be satisfied with your money. They don't really want the t-shirts. They want your soul. They want you to disobey God so that you go to Hell with them. It's not enough that they go to Hell for disobeying God, they want you to disobey God so that we all go to Hell. That's the Devil's goal in the end.” Unfortunately Klingenschmitt won his election on Tuesday, so expect to see more of his special brand of nutty bigotry in the state capitol now.
Bigoted Kansas Couple Phillip and Sandra Unruh
Gay Marriage Will Literally Steal Our Marriage Rights Away
In a month filled with anti-gay legal briefs offering a litany of silly reasons why gay marriage should be banned, this one takes the cake for the craziest. Concerned that marriage equality was right around the corner in Kansas (hint: it is), heterosexual couple Phillip and Sandra Unruh filed a motion to intervene in the gay marriage case – arguing that allowing same-sex couples to marry would literally lead to a "taking of their property rights in marriage without due process of of law." That's right folks, in addition to heathens trying to drag people down to hell with us, we also happen to be accomplished thieves. After all, we've already stolen away all the heterosexual marriage rights in 32 states!
The National Organization for Marriage
Warns Gay Marriage Will Lead to People Marrying Themselves
The National Organization for Marriage has been on the losing side of a lot. But one of its more memorable and embarassing fails was its asinine attempt to get Twitter to weigh in on why gay marriage will ultimately lead to people marrying themselves. Almost immediately after NOM posed the question, the #WhenIMarryMyself hashtag started trending…but not in the way NOM hoped it would.
— Memeographs (@memeographs) October 13, 2014
#WhenIMarryMyself, I'm totally going to smear the cake all over myself for laughs and photos.
— beatpunk (@beatpunk) October 13, 2014
#WhenIMarryMyself I'll still keep separate checking accounts – just to maintain a bit of independence.
— Steevo (@SHP1972) October 13, 2014
Harlem Hate Pastor James David Manning
Starbucks is 'Ground Zero' For Ebola Because of 'Upscale Sodomite' Clientele and There Is Gay Semen in the Coffee
James David Manning, the "Jesus Would Stone Homos" Harlem pastor who previously warned gay marriage would lead to Michael Sam marrying a nine-year-old boy, has decided to share with the world his crackpot views on ebola and Starbucks. Said Manning last month: "Starbucks coffee stores are in fact ground zero for spreading ebola and other diseases because of the clientele of Starbucks – generally upscale sodomites who frequent Starbucks who sit there with their computers. Its a meeting place, they exchange a lot of body fluids. Hands shaken, a lot of contact." Manning also recently made the claim that the coffee chain was using "sodomites' semen" in their drinks. Who knew Manning had such an insane vendetta against Starbucks? Maybe a barista got his grande chai soy latte with a double shot of espresso order wrong that one time.
Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)
Same-Sex 'Massages' Make Gays Unfit for Military Service and "Vulnerable to Terrorism"
Oh Louie. Whether its comparing gay advocates to Nazis, linking opposition to gun control to opposition to gay marriage and sex with animals, or warning Anderson Cooper about "terror baby" nonsense, Rep. Gohmert has long secured his spot as the House's loudest, nuttiest bigot. But Gohmert really outdid himself last month when he went on a bizarre rant on how gays were unfit to serve in the military because the "massages" they receive from their lovers makes them "vulnerable to terrorism." The claim was so absurd, Stephen Colbert couldn't help but agree wholeheartedly.
What's your pick for craziest anti-gay moment? Sound off in the comments below.
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