• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy

Towleroad Gay News

Gay Blog Towleroad: More than gay news | gay men

  • Travel
  • Sports
  • Law/Justice
  • Celebrities
  • Republicans
  • Madonna
  • Books
  • Men
  • Trans Rights
  • Royals
  • Monkeypox
  • Megyn Kelly RIPS Don Lemon Over Kaitlin Collins Fight, Says She Would’ve Had Him FIRED If He ‘Screamed’ At Her
  • Gladiator sequel gets 2024 release date
  • Knock at the Cabin star Ben Aldridge could ‘breathe easier’ after coming out as gay

More Gays, Lesbians Referring To Spouses As ‘Husband,’ ‘Wife’ Instead Of ‘Partner’

John Wright November 24, 2015 Leave a Comment

Gay Marriage

More gays and lesbians are referring to their significant other as “husband” or “wife” instead of “partner” or “spouse” in the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling in favor of same-sex marriage, according to an unscientific survey conducted by one Washington Post columnist.

PetrowOpenly gay columnist Steven Petrow (right) writes that prior to Obergefell, a Community Marketing and Insights survey found that the majority of same-sex couples preferred “partner” or “spouse” to “husband” or “wife.” But Petrow says when he recently posed the question on social media, 90 percent of the 200 people who responded said they now use “husband” or “wife.”

In response to an inquiry from a Houston man about what he should call his spouse, Petrow writes that he believes it’s important for same-sex couples to use “husband” or “wife”:

While it’s up to you to decide whether to refer to yourselves as significant others, spouses, lovers, partners or husbands, I’m urging “husbands.” I say this for a number of reasons — the overriding one being the Supreme Court’s Obergefell v. Hodges ruling in June that legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states. You are entitled to claim your beau as your husband.

“For many same-sex couples, the use of the terms ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ are powerful reminders to others that their marriage is fully equal in every way,” Marc Solomon, author of “Winning Marriage: The Inside Story of How Same-Sex Couples Took on the Politicians and Pundits and Won,” also told me.

Petrow writes that geography doesn’t appear to play a role in what people call their spouses, but younger same-sex couples are more likely to use “husband” or “wife.” He also notes that internalized homophobia can sometimes be a factor in the decision:

One gay man explained that he had to overcome his “shame-based” reaction to using “husband,” while another explained he chose to use “spouse” or “partner” to obfuscate their same-sex relationship in a professional setting.

But it’s in exactly those instances — like when I was bellied up to the “Brokeback Mountain” bar in Wyoming and told a stranger that I had a “partner” because I felt unsafe — that I think the word most needs to be heard. Simon Sheppard, a longtime gay rights activist, reminded me that it “sounds perilously close to justification for the closet” by not presenting as a couple.

If you’re married, how do you refer to spouse and why? Let us know in the comments.

Topics: Actor, Social Media, Supreme Court, towleroad More Posts About: gay marriage, Gay Rights, marc solomon, Steven Petrow, Washington Post

Related Posts
  • Former Roommate Indicted For Murder Of Florida LGBTQ Activist Jorge Diaz-Johnston, One of the Public Faces In State Fight For Marriage Equality
  • Survivor Benefits Payments For Same-Sex Partners Are Being Paid Under Biden, But Many Don’t Even Know They Qualify
  • Jim Obergefell, Plaintiff In The Supreme Court Case That Won National Marriage Equality, is Running For Ohio State House
  • Gladiator sequel gets 2024 release date

    Gladiator sequel gets 2024 release date

    Published by BANG Showbiz English The ‘Gladiator’ sequel will be released on November 22, 2024. The Sir Ridley Scott-directed sequel to the award-winning drama movie is set to start filming this year, with Paul Mescal, 26, …Read More »
  • Knock at the Cabin star Ben Aldridge could ‘breathe easier’ after coming out as gay

    Knock at the Cabin star Ben Aldridge could ‘breathe easier’ after coming out as gay

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Ben Aldridge could “breathe easier” after he came out as gay. The 37-year-old actor – who was raised as an evangelical Christian – announced his sexuality to the world on f …Read More »
  • Florida moves to revoke Orlando event venue’s liquor license after drag queen show

    Florida moves to revoke Orlando event venue’s liquor license after drag queen show

    Published by Orlando Sentinel ORLANDO, Fla. — The Plaza Live, an Orlando event venue that came under state scrutiny for hosting an all-age drag queen performance in December, could lose its ability to sell alcohol, according …Read More »
  • 25 Years Ago: Rob Halford Shocks Himself by Coming Out on MTV

    25 Years Ago: Rob Halford Shocks Himself by Coming Out on MTV

    Published by Ultimate Classic Rock Nobody expected Rob Halford to come out as gay when he sat down for a fateful MTV interview on Feb. 4, 1998 — least of all the Metal God himself. Six …Read More »
Previous Post: « CDC Says 1 in 4 Gay Men Should Be on PrEP
Next Post: Gus Kenworthy Reveals the 8 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Gay Friends: WATCH »

Primary Sidebar

Adjacent News

  • Beyoncé Could Make Music History at the 2023 Grammy Awards

    Beyoncé Could Make Music History at the 2023 Grammy Awards

  • Behold: The new GOP culture wars | Opinion

    Behold: The new GOP culture wars | Opinion

  • Suspected Chinese surveillance balloon is shot down Over the Atlantic

    Suspected Chinese surveillance balloon is shot down Over the Atlantic

Good Trash: Going to Read It Somewhere, Y'know

  • Dennis Rodman On If He’d Ever Get Back With Ex-Girlfriends: “I Tried Madonna, I Tried Carmen Electra…”

    Dennis Rodman On If He’d Ever Get Back With Ex-Girlfriends: “I Tried Madonna, I Tried Carmen Electra…”

  • James Gunn Seemingly Confirms The DCU Will Finally Have Gay Superheroes

    James Gunn Seemingly Confirms The DCU Will Finally Have Gay Superheroes

  • Vanilla Ice Admits He Rejected Madonna’s Proposal Before They Split: ‘I Thought The Guy Was Supposed To Do That’

    Vanilla Ice Admits He Rejected Madonna’s Proposal Before They Split: ‘I Thought The Guy Was Supposed To Do That’

RSS Partner Links

  • Jonathan Groff & Ben Aldridge talk “Knock at the Cabin” and film’s queer representation
  • The Voice(s): Jimmy James Returns To NYC
  • C&L's Late Night Music Club: Kurt Vile
  • The Richest Beauty Gurus, Ranked from Lowest to Highest (& the Top 2 Are Worth Hundreds of Millions)
  • A Date With 'Cat Daddies'
  • Tucker Carlson Wants To Liberate... Canada?
  • On the Rag, Vol. 736

Most Recent

  • Megyn Kelly RIPS Don Lemon Over Kaitlin Collins Fight, Says She Would’ve Had Him FIRED If He ‘Screamed’ At Her

    Megyn Kelly RIPS Don Lemon Over Kaitlin Collins Fight, Says She Would’ve Had Him FIRED If He ‘Screamed’ At Her

  • Gladiator sequel gets 2024 release date

    Gladiator sequel gets 2024 release date

  • Knock at the Cabin star Ben Aldridge could ‘breathe easier’ after coming out as gay

    Knock at the Cabin star Ben Aldridge could ‘breathe easier’ after coming out as gay

  • Florida moves to revoke Orlando event venue’s liquor license after drag queen show

    Florida moves to revoke Orlando event venue’s liquor license after drag queen show

  • 25 Years Ago: Rob Halford Shocks Himself by Coming Out on MTV

    25 Years Ago: Rob Halford Shocks Himself by Coming Out on MTV

  • At this school, rainbows are sentenced to prism time and sex ed sticks to the basics | Opinion

    At this school, rainbows are sentenced to prism time and sex ed sticks to the basics | Opinion

  • Japan PM Kishida fires aide over same-sex couple outburst

    Japan PM Kishida fires aide over same-sex couple outburst

  • Rupert Everett claims to know who Prince Harry lost his virginity to

    Rupert Everett claims to know who Prince Harry lost his virginity to

Most Commented

Social

Twitter @tlrd | Facebook | Instagram @tlrd

Footer

Copyright © 2023 · Log in

×