Stormy Daniels may have ruined your experience playing Nintendo’s Mario Kart for life after the description she gave of Donald Trump’s junk in her new book, Full Disclosure.
Trump’s bodyguard invites Daniels to dinner, which turns out to be an invitation to Trump’s penthouse, she writes, in a description of alleged events that Daniels has disclosed previously but which in the book are rendered with new and lurid detail. She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”
“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…
“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f**ked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart…
“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
The most important thing about @stormydaniels book is not the description of her sex with Mr. Trump. It is instead her description of her life and role as a modern woman unafraid to speak truth to power. I am proud to call her my client and my friend.
— Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) September 18, 2018
Ohh "Mario Kart" is trending… Must be a new game!
— … O.o … (@MileHighVillain) September 18, 2018
Me 1 minute ago: lol this Mario Kart thing can’t be *that* bad whatever it is
Me after clicking: pic.twitter.com/Mt7wnC10So
— Courtney Enlow (@courtenlow) September 18, 2018
— Sarah Rumpf (@rumpfshaker) September 18, 2018
For reference: here's the "mushroom character" (Toad) in Mario Kart. 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/OH0ThBUxjv
— Holly Figueroa O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) September 18, 2018
Why do I have the feeling that Stormy Daniels' Mario Kart reference to Trump's genitals has him more enraged than the fact that his Supreme Court nominee may not get confirmed?
I picture him in the bathroom with a hand-mirror, while aides yell at him about the Kavanaugh news.
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) September 18, 2018