Stephen Colbert took apart the “officially bitchy, eight-page letter” from the White House refusing to participate in the House impeachment inquiry.
Said the letter: “Given that your inquiry lacks any legitimate constitutional foundation, any pretense of fairness, or even the most elementary due process protections, the executive branch cannot be expected to participate in it.”
Quipped Colbert, mocking Trump’s Vietnam draft dodging: “Don’t get him wrong, Trump would like to help with their inquiry into his conversation with Ukraine but tragically he has developed phone spurs.”
Replied Colbert: “Wait, wait, wait, wait. You can’t just not participate in your own impeachment. (In judge’s voice) Sir, you are charged with assault and battery. How do you plead? (In Trump voice) “Um…pass? Can I buy a vowel?”
Colbert continued: “The letter is full of absolutely bonkers arguments” including that the president has been denied the right to cross-examine witnesses.
“The witness is Trump’s incriminating phone transcript, which he released! If he wanted to, he could cross-examine himself. (In Trump voice) Where was I on the night of the phone call?’ ‘I was on the phone!’ ‘Ah-ha! Well, let me ask you this. If that’s the case, did you get any dirt on Joe Biden?'”