Cheyenne Jackson Just Shared Something Deeply Personal That’s Been Causing Him to Feel Shame and Anxiety for Years

Actor Cheyenne Jackson has been reflecting during his COVID-19 isolation about what’s important to him in life, and decided to share a secret he’s been hiding from fans for years in hopes that it might cause others to be brave about their insecurities and self-perceived faults.

“I’ve been DREADING this day for 17 years. The day when my horrible secret would be revealed, Jackson shared on Instagram. “No, this gnarly scar across my head isn’t from life-saving brain surgery, nor did I narrowly survive a shark attack. It’s worse. (At least in Hollywood…) I had hair transplant surgery. 5 of them, to be exact over 14 years.”

“My inner monologue is ‘Really Cheyenne? With everything that’s going on in the world, you’re CONFESSING that you had hair surgery? Get over yourself.’ the American Horror Story actor added. “I get it, but I’m admitting this really, to RELEASE how much shame & anxiety I’ve had about people finding out for years.”

“I started losing my hair around 22,” Jackson continued. “My older brother was balding too, but was way braver & cooler & just shaved his off. It was really emotional for me to watch it fall out & I felt less attractive & truly less like myself as the days went on, so I saved up and got my first surgery at 28. I hid it from everyone. It was painful & expensive but I started to feel better about myself.”

“Over the years as my hair kept thinning, I kept secretly getting more procedures & would just pray that no one would find out,” Jackson explained. “Why? Why did I care so much? What does that say about me? Being a vain actor in an industry that rewards beauty, I vowed to keep this my secret forever. I feel SO stupid saying that but it’s my truth. As if someone finding out would somehow negate my talent, or make me less viable or valuable in the world. At the beginning of every job, I’d secretly gather the hair & makeup people, dramatically close the door of the trailer, & make a big deal about REVEALING my devastating truth. Every. Single. Time. they basically said “ummm…yeah…so?” NO ONE CARED BUT ME!”

“I’m sharing because maybe this will inspire someone out there to share a secret they’ve been hiding, or show a scar that they’ve been afraid of anyone seeing. Let it go. What I’ve learned during this pandemic is that shit like this just doesn’t matter. I’m trying to teach my kids to accept themselves & to be proud of who they are, & to put value on things that are IMPORTANT & REAL so as their father, the example should start with me. This is that. I’ll go first. #ShowYourScars“

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I’ve been DREADING this day for 17 years. The day when my horrible secret would be revealed. No, this gnarly scar across my head isn’t from life-saving brain surgery, nor did I narrowly survive a shark attack. It’s worse. (At least in Hollywood…) I had hair transplant surgery. 5 of them, to be exact over 14 years. My inner monologue is “Really Cheyenne? With everything that’s going on in the world, you’re CONFESSING that you had hair surgery? Get over yourself.” I get it, but I’m admitting this really, to RELEASE how much shame & anxiety I’ve had about people finding out for years. I started losing my hair around 22. My older brother was balding too, but was way braver & cooler & just shaved his off. It was really emotional for me to watch it fall out & I felt less attractive & truly less like myself as the days went on, so I saved up and got my first surgery at 28. I hid it from everyone. It was painful & expensive but I started to feel better about myself. Over the years as my hair kept thinning, I kept secretly getting more procedures & would just pray that no one would find out. Why? Why did I care so much? What does that say about me? Being a vain actor in an industry that rewards beauty, I vowed to keep this my secret forever. I feel SO stupid saying that but it’s my truth. As if someone finding out would somehow negate my talent, or make me less viable or valuable in the world. At the beginning of every job, I’d secretly gather the hair & makeup people, dramatically close the door of the trailer, & make a big deal about REVEALING my devastating truth. Every. Single. Time. they basically said “ummm…yeah…so?” NO ONE CARED BUT ME! I’m sharing because maybe this will inspire someone out there to share a secret they’ve been hiding, or show a scar that they’ve been afraid of anyone seeing. Let it go. What I’ve learned during this pandemic is that shit like this just doesn’t matter. I’m trying to teach my kids to accept themselves & to be proud of who they are, & to put value on things that are IMPORTANT & REAL so as their father, the example should start with me. This is that. I’ll go first. #ShowYourScars

A post shared by ᴄʜᴇʏᴇɴɴᴇ ᴊᴀᴄᴋsᴏɴ (@mrcheyennejackson) on May 23, 2020 at 3:30pm PDT