Saturday Night Live took shots (badum bum) at the COVID vaccine rollout on Saturday night, opening its show with a game show hosted by “America’s voice of reason and celebrity hall pass” Dr. Anthony Fauci (Kate McKinnon).
“The vaccine roll out is going strong,” explained McKinnon’s Fauci, “but it’s also very confusing. Who can get it? How? When? Where is it? Do both doses go in the same arm or different arms or what? I don’t know.”
“Tonight we give everyday Americans a chance to vie for vaccine eligibility on a little show we like to call, So You Think You Can Get The Vaccine?” McKinnon’s Fauci announced. “Getting the vaccine shouldn’t be a competition, but Americans will only want to get it if it means someone else can’t.”
McKinnon’s Fauci then announced the judges would be famous governors, the first being California Governor Gavin Newsom (Alex Moffatt): “He’s hated by every single person in California except those 10 people he had dinner with in Napa that one time.”
Asked how it’s going in California, Moffatt’s Newsom replied: “Teeth — white. Bodies — tight. Covid — pretty bad.”
McKinnon’s Fauci then introduced NY Governor Andrew Cuomo (Pete Davidson), “currently under fire for futzing with old dead people and also the kind of sexual harassment allegations that make you go, yeah, I could see that.”
“Nice bodies, some of you,” Davidson’s Cuomo said. “Remember when your favorite movie was my PowerPoints? Remember, ‘Today is Tuesday’? Why can’t we go back to that? I mean, c’mon.”
McKinnon’s Fauci then introduced Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer (Cecily Strong), who “narrowly escaped being kidnapped by a group of men whose fingerprints probably had Cheetos dust on them.”
“It’s an honor to be here with my fellow governors,” said Strong’s Whitmer. “People yell at them about their policies, and they yell at me, ‘Get her!’ But hey, that’s life.”
Several contestants were deemed ineligible for the vaccine, one of whom was played by Heidi Gardner, who explained that “I think I deserve the vaccine because I’m an essential worker. I do IT for the OnlyFans website, so I am busy.”
Ego Nwodim played another possible contestant, pretending to be a granny, who was also rejected “on the second to last day of Black History Month. Whoa.” Another contestant, pregnant, also got a “no” vote. Ronald, a smoker from New Jersey, was also sent packing.
Ted Cruz, played again by Aidy Bryant, also tried to compete, but failed. Said Bryant’s Cruz: “It is great to be back in New York City. I’m sorry, my arms are tired. Because I just flew back from Cancún, Mexico.”
Finally, an 85-year-old man played by Mikey Day was deemed eligible.
Davidson’s Cuomo advised him: “If you do feel sick, make sure you leave the nursing home and get to the hospital. Wink.”