News | Religion | Republican Party | Ted Haggard

Ted Haggard: Bought Meth, Didn't Use It; Received Massage, No Sex

Haggardbush_1Ted Haggard told reporters today that he bought meth because he was curious, but got rid of it:

"I bought it for myself but never used it. I was tempted, but I never used it."

Then why, pastor Haggard, did you leave your gay hustler Mike Jones a voicemail inquiring about getting more?

He also told reporters that he received a massage from Jones but never had sex.

Funny, yesterday he didn't know Mike Jones. If the story continues to evolve like this, by next week he'll have had that collegiate orgy he's been fantasizing about.

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  1. ok towle u covered it. mp

    Posted by: M | Nov 3, 2006 6:07:42 PM

  2. My three year old niece lies better. What's next? "I had his dick in my mouth, but I did not suck it." Or "I had his cock up my ass but I did not grab my toes and spin around on it."

    Posted by: Tony | Nov 3, 2006 6:09:49 PM

  3. But we are only getting to know this guy. He is the HEAD of 30 million fundamentalists who are trained to hate gay people.

    We need to know how long Bush and Dobson and Abramoff knew about his drug usage and patronage of prostitutes.

    We need to know every detail about where the drug money came from and how many children he may have given drugs to. Or if he possibly gave his own children drugs or exposed them to the on-line sex the way conservative singer Sara Evans' husband did.

    This story is only 24 hours old. We need to know a lot more. He's the leader of the entire Christian conservative movement. He's a role model and a kingmaker and a hatemonger. All of the power he wielded against innocent children makes it a civic and patriotic duty to fully investigate his life.

    Posted by: bamabamabofana | Nov 3, 2006 6:16:24 PM

  4. Hypocrisy at it's fullest. More lies to cover old ones. Enough is enough.

    Posted by: Rob (lrdarystar) | Nov 3, 2006 6:20:33 PM

  5. Another bigoted hypocrite falls from grace when his "secret" is divulged. Makes a person wonder what other "dirt" could be dug up about the rest of the religious bigots who demagogue our community on a daily basis...

    Posted by: Robert In WeHo | Nov 3, 2006 6:22:47 PM

  6. The creepist part is news clips of him patting boys on the back or the head. They all look up to him and how many are confused gay boys who had a crush on a prick like him?

    Posted by: patrick nyc | Nov 3, 2006 6:30:58 PM

  7. I love that he would admit to buying Crystal Meth before having gay sex, that gay sex would be the worse of the two.

    Posted by: Greg | Nov 3, 2006 6:36:31 PM

  8. Ok. A few hours ago hypocrisy threw me a rock, and then all of a sudden I was hit by a fucking meteor/rite. I’m speaking of the Reverend Ted Haggard. I don't need to tell you that this does not make me happy. Remember the old kill the messenger? So now we have a gay hustler, and the so-called King of all Evangelistas (not sure what it has to do with washed-up 80's supermodels-but I digress). Now dude has admitted to buying meth and having a completely 'platonic massage' by an overly steroid homo. You know he had a 'happy finish' to his massage. This is the hypocrisy to organized religion that I abhor.

    All I ask-don't buy into the B.S. that Mr. Haggard was framed or 'politically slammed'. He has admitted the meth, and massage so far). I wonder how many times he called out Jesus’ name as he 'repented' on the love masseur table? I usually call out God's name or Jesus at least once or twice. Supposedly if you repent, you are ok. Does that mean he is now forgiven for his blatant hypocrisy and bigotry?

    Who knows? All I can say is thank God the Evangilistas are able to vote against gay marriage on Tuesday. What would heterosexual marriage be if gays were allowed to marry?

    I guess you need to ask Mr. Haggard, or his wife, or his five children, or his gay hustler. Ahhh. The All-American family. All they need now is a Namibian baby.


    Posted by: Andrew | Nov 3, 2006 6:49:32 PM

  9. btw-when did did this go from a guy with a hustler-to a pedophile? Never been mentioned. Obviously plants in our midst. I speak only for myself, but fuck moles. Don't Districts' to salvage?

    Posted by: Andrew | Nov 3, 2006 6:52:59 PM

  10. (don't the moles have a failed election to try to salvage)? However like several Republicans lately, they prefer to talk about gay sex and dick. Hmmm

    Posted by: Andrew | Nov 3, 2006 6:56:30 PM

  11. Does the dick in my mouth make me look gay? Haggard is so guilty and we have heard this before..."I tried pot but I didn't inhale". It was just as rediculous coming from Clinton as it sounds coming from Haggard! Let's NOT play partisan politics here. BOTH got caught and both lied. Lies that any good five year old could have done better. Pathetic!

    Posted by: RB | Nov 3, 2006 7:10:42 PM

  12. I am my gsy co-workers have been laughing over his in-car with wife Q&A all fucking day.

    Hypocrites can be hilarious.

    Posted by: Marco | Nov 3, 2006 7:17:17 PM

  13. RB, we have disagreed but never let it be said I don't give credit where it's due, and your "Does the dick in my mouth make me look gay" is hysterical. One of the best I've heard in ages! It's dangerous for a cynic to toy with optimism, but, again, from my personal experience with evangelicals, I want to believe that this is going to be the perfect manifestation of "the bigger they come the harder they fall."

    But, at the same time, I too vividly remember a very close religious friend defending Jimmy Swaggart as a good, sincere man after his 1988 grotesque, transparent, fake-tears drenched "I have sinned" TV performance after he was exposed for tricking with female prostitutes. Pond scum that he is, he refused the discipline of his own denomination who ended up revoking his ordination. Still, while losing several faithful and now owning a much smaller piece of the pentecostal pie, even after being caught with another prostitute three years later he's still out there, seen on television in 50 countries, sucking up money in Jesus' name with a skill HRC would envy. And totally getting away with such statements as, "I'm trying to find the correct name for it...this utter absolute, asinine, idiotic stupidity of men marrying men. ...I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain; if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died." Despite his claim, apparently Oral Roberts casting out Swaggert's demons by telephone didn't take.

    Posted by: Leland | Nov 3, 2006 8:14:31 PM

  14. RB, my conservative friend, it was Haggard who made himself a partisan target by mixing his church "ministry" so thoroughly with Republican politics. It was HE who bragged about being an advisor to the Bush White House and it was HE who worked so hard on Republican bait-and-switch distraction campaigns like the Federal Marriage Amendment and state anti-gay marriage amendments across the country.

    Due to this, his partisan political affiliations are fair game.

    I'm all for supporting my socially moderate Republican friends, but I will always call a spade a spade.

    Clinton is old news and even though their excuses sound eerily similar, "I didn't inhale" and "I didn't have sex with that woman", Clinton, as far as I know, never held himself up as a shining beacon of moral superiority and he certainly didn't preach against or condemn others who were doing the same thing he was.

    It's not Haggard's gay sex or drug use that pisses me off. It's not even his infidelity that I find most offensive. I DO find his infidelity to be very offensive, but in the end that's an issue for he and his wife to deal with. It's his HYPOCRISY that I find most offensive and unacceptable and frankly THAT is the ONLY issue that I think is any of my business.

    Haggard, by his own proud proclamation, was a Republican shill with a pastor's stole. We can't be upset when people are just as excited to point it out as he was.

    Posted by: Zeke | Nov 3, 2006 8:20:54 PM

  15. HA! How many gay men have heard the old, "We didn't have sex, he just gave me a massage" routine, or "I didn't do the crystal, I threw it away" bullshit. He's lucky he's not out and dating a gay man, he'd be out on his ass.

    Posted by: bjorn | Nov 3, 2006 8:26:57 PM

  16. I TOTALLY agree with Leland, the "dick in my mouth" line was HY-sterical!!!

    Posted by: Zeke | Nov 3, 2006 8:29:58 PM

  17. My favorite line from the hustler: "I’ve seen clergy before. They always call from pay phones."

    Posted by: danny | Nov 3, 2006 8:52:43 PM

  18. Ted Haggard has 1460 news articles about him.

    Meanwhile notorious creationist Kent Hovind's conviction yesterday for tax fraud goes virtually unnoticed. Only 31 stories.

    More about Hovind:

    Posted by: c'mon now | Nov 3, 2006 9:52:44 PM

  19. Let's give the Republicans a nice massage with release in the voting booth next Tuesday, boys, whattaya say?

    Posted by: Becks07 | Nov 3, 2006 10:20:10 PM

  20. Good a time as any to recount one of my favorite stories about the founder of Haggard's alma mater. About 25 years ago, the father of a friend worked at a post office in Tulsa, Oklahoma, home of Oral Roberts University. After repeated problems with the employee toilets clogging, a plumber finally dug up the sewage pipes and discovered that someone had apparently been repeatedly flushing huge amounts of mail addressed to Roberts down the toilet. They called the university to alert them to this, and, realizing that much of the mail probably had donations in checks and cash in it, they came down and collected it all even though it was alternately soaked with urine and covered in feces!!! I kid you not.

    Less funny is that Roberts' older son was gay and committed suicide in 1982, the year before "Ennis" said goodbye to "Jack" for the last time.

    Posted by: Leland | Nov 3, 2006 10:38:26 PM

  21. First Mark Foley, now this... Thank you, God, thank you. More please.

    Posted by: John C | Nov 3, 2006 10:39:34 PM

  22. Totally off topic but Neil Patrick Harris just officially came out to "People" online only two days after his agent denied it.

    Posted by: Zeke | Nov 3, 2006 10:47:43 PM

  23. 2006 is going to go down as the biggest coming out/being outed year EVER!

    Posted by: Zeke | Nov 3, 2006 10:52:20 PM

  24. There is a God.

    Posted by: vince | Nov 4, 2006 12:07:07 AM

  25. It's nice to know that NPH loves his bf enough to come out. They've been together for years.

    Posted by: Anon | Nov 4, 2006 1:22:39 AM

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