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  1. I'm Layla Miller I Know Stuff says

    BULLY’S GREATEST SECRET

    Bullies are more like poison than a knife, and they are more like slow-working poison than cyanide.

    You’re body is flooded instantly with adrenaline and it’s derivatives, like norenephrine. Now when these hormones pervade the bloodstream, you’re brain reacts. It shuts down certain centers and activates others. This is called the stress reaction. Or stress syndrome action. Then when the abuse recedes, the adrenaline levels begin to drop. As they drop, the entire system goes into mayhem.

    So what bullies usually do…they start and stop, start and stop. That achieves the maximal stress syndrome. And this is the great secret of bullying: never overdo it…small doses…the victim will do the rest.

  2. stephen says

    The pink elephant in the room is religion & all the homophobic prejudice they indoctrinate into generation after generation.

    Unless there is a collective push-back from everyone- including media, nothing will change.

    When a TV show desires an alternate point of view, they must stop and consider exactly what they are often enabling, which is a climate of intolerance & fear, most often based in nothing more than prejudice.

  3. joe says

    What I’d like to know is (at least an estimate of) the actual number of teen suicides and gay teen suicides. Just because this handful made the news doesn’t necessarily mean there is an increasing trend, nor does it mean that there haven’t been many more unreported. I’d like to see the actual statistics instead of just what makes the media.

    First google hit I found (suicide.org) says that there were, on average, 11 suicides per day in 2001 by people aged 15-24 years.

    I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that LGBT youth are something like three times as likely to commit suicide as their straight peers, so can we say that 10% of young suicides are LGBT? That would make about 1 per day.

    I’m not by any means trying to lessen the outrage over these recent publicized deaths. On the contrary, I think we should be more outraged that this problem doesn’t get any attention until the numbers have faces associated with them.

    If someone has better statistics, please share them.

  4. BobN says

    “What people are forgetting is that an individual can be pushed to the edge, but it is that individual who chooses to go over the edge.”

    And some other people are forgetting that we’re talking about CHILDREN.

  5. sparks says

    @JOE – “If someone has better statistics, please share them.”

    Yes: one.

    All other numbers attempt to place a statistical value on human life, or to establish some sort of ‘norm’ so that numbers can tell us when there are too many … tell us at what point we should be alarmed, at what point we as a society should do a better job of protecting our kids from those who would harass and torment them.

    One bullied LGBT suicide is too many. The first is when we should have been alarmed.

  6. Omar says

    these hateful motherfuckers should be hanged and tortured, why do they have the right to make someone’s life miserable? my heart truly goes out to these young guys and my sincere condolences to their families. UNBELIEVABLE and truly DISGUSTING

  7. dizzy spins says

    Im concerned by Dan Savage’s comments (he’s usually my go-to guy). We havent heard the whole story on Clementi’s situation. Yes, his roommate filmed him having sex, which was invasive, humiliating and terrible. But there’s no indication there was a widespread atmosphere of hate or intolerance that pushed Tyler to commit suicide–as its clear there was with the other youths who took their lives.

    I dont even know if you can clearly say the roommate was motivated by hate. College kids do cruel and stupid things–I know I did. Thats not to excuse his actions, but where’s the evidence that Tyler’s teachers, administrators or classmates are to blame? Tyler had gone to his RA about the taping and steps were being taken. Lets not twist this scenario to fit our agenda.

  8. Lee Creole says

    It also requires ADULT LGBT …us grown gays to get the word out there on this alarming issue of anti gay bullying, and educate our friends, especially hetrosexual friends who are parents about this. That is how you spring board change. I made a facebook dedication and informed all my friends about the recent heart breaking gay suicides and in turn they reposted the facebook links. Altogether, it sparked some 30 positive replies, not to mention all those friends share it with their hetrosexual friends on their facebook pages and real change is made. Do your part by going to the uncomfortable and not being afraid to be a little bit of an activist, not just for yourselves, but the children who have no voice in all this and are living a daily nightmare.

  9. Rann says

    “College kids do cruel and stupid things–I know I did.”

    Let’s not make it seem like everyone does that. I never did and I am sure many others didn’t either. It is like when people say about children who bully and harass, “oh that’s what kids do”. Not it is not true. Some kids do and to say what you did above is wrong and both statements make it seem like it a normal expected thing to bully or do cruel stupid things. It is like giving the bullies permission because that is what kids do. I hate when people talk like that. How about we say “That is what immature idiots do and it is wrong and morally not acceptable.” It should not be looked at as the norm for kid’s behavior when it is a small percent of kids who do this.

  10. Brad says

    People like President Obama send out mixed messages that LGBT people are not worthy of having legal marriage, and dragging his feet on ending DADT. When the most powerful man in the world cannot bring himself to fully support LGBT issues, it gives lesser bullies carte blanche to continue their hate. I agree with Dan Savage, it’s the administrators, the teachers etc., but it’s also the politicians, the religious leaders, the talking heads on TV who foster the hate that leads to bullying. These kids took their own lives, yes, but who created and enabled the poison atmosphere where hate flourishes? Every time some jerk gets up and says, “I don’t hate gay people, but…” they promote this bullying.

  11. mad1026 says

    The man I helped elect President refuses to stand up for me and other gay people. Unwed mother Maggie Gallegher tells gays they are destroying marriage. Jim DeMint says gays and single women should not teach children. In the past few weeks 5 young gay children have committed suicide. I wonder if the constant negative screeching by these assholes has anything to do with it. A pox on all of them!

  12. Theresa says

    “What people are forgetting is that an individual can be pushed to the edge, but it is that individual who chooses to go over the edge.”

    I am so tired of this hateful attitude towards those who commit suicide. It strikes me as similar to the kind of bullying, intolerant, blame-the-victim attitude that contributes to suicidal impulses in the first place. Those who are contemplating taking their own lives don’t need to feel even more guilty and ashamed of themselves than they probably already feel. They need to know that people will listen to them and try to help them. They need to know that they are not alone. They need to know that people care. Many of us DO care. We just need to get LOUD ABOUT IT!! And stay loud until we drown out all the hate talk.

  13. Jerry6 says

    Let us put the blame where it belongs.
    Leviticus started it all when he decided that anyone who produced children (or DID NOT produce children at all) who could become members in good standing with the religion of that time, was to be stoned, or otherwise executed. As only children of married men and women of the faith could become members also, it followed that anyone born out of wedlock were tainted by birth and could not become dues paying members of the faith. Thus, children born to: 1. Adulterers, 2.Prostitutes, and 3.Rape could not become members of the Church. In addition,those people that did not produce children because they did not marry, but enjoyed sexual relationships with other non marrying persons, were also listed for death, 4.Homosexuals

    Times changed over the centuries, and religions decided that maybe the adulterers, etc really were not so bad because they did produce children and maybe we were a little too critical to exclude them and their dues paying kids. BUT, those terrible homos did not produce children, so let us keep killing them off when we find them. Who cares if their families and friends love them as they are, we, the Church, hates them. So what if GOD created them. So what,he made a mistake. On this the Church knows better. OF WITH THEIR HEADS!

  14. mark says

    The only way to deal effectively with bullying in school is to get a few very large 6 figure settlements.

    Otherwise the admins will just avoid changing anything or putting a new program in place, esp. during a recession.

  15. John says

    This is tragic. While I regret that these boys died untimely deaths, at least there is now a national dialogue about the abuse that gay teens endure, and perhaps something good can come from all this tragedy.

  16. Amanda says

    I think that people really need to open their eyes and realize the harm they are doing by bullying anyone in general! I don’t care if it makes you feel better about yourself by making someone else feel small. It isn’t right and it needs to stop.
    It isn’t ok for people to be dying because of this!

  17. Julio says

    Take it from a gay teen, me. I could care less what kind of ignorance or hate people spread about us gays. Their opinions don’t mean a thing to me. The toughest part of it is the feeling of being different. That leads to feeling very alone…and those emotions combined with the whole “teenage hormone” thing causes us to really hurt. I can remember plenty of nights where I would go to sleep and hope to never wake up. Because the only way out of these feelings is to either stay strong, which is very hard to do, or to die, which is easy. I’ve chosen to stay strong and hope for brighter days, but many chose the easy way out. It’s these people who we need to never forget. We need to show more people, not only gay teens, but everyone that they are loved. Then maybe problems like these would not occur.

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