It's been an exciting week in the ongoing project to classify new specimens of anti-gay, gay politicians — the Homo Repulicanus. First, there was the Indiana state senator who hired a teenage callboy off Craigslist and took him to a hotel room for a fatherly chat about baseball. Now there's this: a Republican politician in Puerto Rico caught with a Grindr profile.
Puerto Rican senator Roberto Arango, formerly the vice-chairman of George Bush's 2004 campaign in the territory, told local media that he can't confirm or deny that the bare-chested man in the pic is him – which is pretty much a roundabout way of admitting, "It's me."
But before we jump to conclusions, consider his perfectly plausible explanation. He's been working out lately, you see, and documenting his progress with regular self-portraits.
"You know I've been losing weight," he said. "As I shed that weight, I've been taking pictures."
And isn't it just so typically straight of him to upload those pictures to a gay sex site!
Perhaps Arango is innocent of the insinuations being made in the media after all. In one alleged pic, he is on all fours – winking, shall we say, at Puerto Rico's Grindr community. (We won't post the very NSFW pic here, but you can see for yourself at Gawker.) This is clearly a picture of a man exercising his anus – I swear I've seen this very maneuver in a Jane Fonda work-out video. (Clench, unclench. Clench, unclench.) And to think that this scandal could taint his career forever.
To be fair, even if he was on Grindr trolling for men, the hypocrisy angle is weak. Sure, Arango worked for a presidential campaign that got people to the polls in 2004 by shamelessly stoking fears of gay marriage. But not once in his legislative career has Arango come out against anus pics.