Bisexual | Cynthia Nixon | Kevin Sessums | News

Cynthia Nixon Won't Call Herself Bisexual Because 'Nobody Likes The Bisexuals'

Kevin Sessums follows up with Cynthia Nixon, who made headlines recently for telling the NYT's Alex Witchel that, for her, being gay "is a choice". Sessums asks about Nixon's previous 15-year relationship with a man, and her current relationship with Christine Marinoni:

Cynthia_nixon I’m a bit confused. Were you a lesbian in a heterosexual relationship? Or are you now a heterosexual in a lesbian relationship? That quote seemed like you were fudging a bit.

It’s so not fudging. It’s so not. I think for gay people who feel 100 percent gay, it doesn’t make any sense. And for straight people who feel 100 percent straight, it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t pull out the “bisexual” word because nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals.

But it is the “B” in LGBT. 

I know. But we get no respect.

You just said “we,” so you must self-identify as one.

I just don’t like to pull out that word. But I do completely feel that when I was in relationships with men, I was in love and in lust with those men. And then I met Christine and I fell in love and lust with her. I am completely the same person and I was not walking around in some kind of fog. I just responded to the people in front of me the way I truly felt.

Nixon then repeats the assertion that it's fine to say homosexuality is her choice, because to say it's not a choice would be "caving to the bigots":

 I understand for political reasons why some people want to kind of squelch this idea that being gay might be a choice, because a lot of the rights we want are posited on the supposition that why are you denying me my rights any more than if I were created a different color? But I don’t feel the need to cede the definition of what a gay person is to the bigots. They don’t get to define who I am.

Check out more of Sessums' interview over at The Daily Beast.

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  1. People, let this be a reminder to you. Celebrities are just as stupid as everyone else.

    Posted by: SPOT | Jan 24, 2012 2:35:39 PM

  2. I need her to go to the go away place.

    Posted by: Andrew | Jan 24, 2012 2:40:52 PM

  3. And is she stupid.

    Posted by: LiamB | Jan 24, 2012 2:41:43 PM

  4. Indeed they are, Spot.

    What started out as an interestingly provcative statemewnt has now turned to mush.

    She doesn't want to be called bisexual because "we get no respect"?


    Posted by: David Ehrenstein | Jan 24, 2012 2:42:05 PM

  5. Keep diggin', Nixon. Pretty soon you'll reach China.

    Posted by: carsson | Jan 24, 2012 2:42:42 PM

  6. She is both very right and very wrong. Bisexuality gets no respect, certainly not from many (by no means all) Gay males. Lesbians may, and I suspect do, feel differently. She is also right in saying much of these labels and obligatory categorization is political and ideological (and neceesary to obtain rights truth be told). Whether these rigid categories are objectively true for many is another story.

    She is dead wrong about the choice word. She empowers the bigots, and does not disarm them by making such a specious argument. The only choice is to follow or deny one's deeply held desires.

    Posted by: Contrarian | Jan 24, 2012 2:43:49 PM

  7. I don't understand what some of you people are taking issue with or are confused by.

    she's bisexual. she's in a lesbian relationship. she prefers this energy. she's not in a bisexual relationship, she's in a GAY one.

    it IS her choice. HER choice. she has options, as per her innate attractions, and she's chosen a gay relationship.

    this is not groundbreaking news, nor is it in ANY WAY giving "ammo" to anti-gay bigots, ALL OF WHOM are making a CHOICE to subscribe to religious beliefs.

    gay isn't ok because "it's not a choice", as some of you think - gay is ok because it harms no one. truly. being gay has never torn apart a single family. being ANTI-gay tears apart families.

    every one of you who continue to scream that this "sets us back" is approaching her statement from a place of insecurity and fear.

    stop giving weight to the stupid EXCUSES given by anti-gay bigots. truly. do you know what holds us back? you people, who are so pathetically scared of what The Straights think that you live in fear of how we're 'perceived' all the time.

    wise up. and rock on, Cynthia.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 24, 2012 2:44:12 PM

  8. What KIWI said. In spades.

    Posted by: TJ | Jan 24, 2012 2:48:09 PM

  9. Some actors should just read from a script and not be allowed to improvise.

    Posted by: DarwinSF | Jan 24, 2012 2:51:00 PM

  10. I for one respect her speaking openly. I don't necessarily agree with her denigration of Bisexuals (if you want to call it that), but I understand her point. Gay men in particular are ALWAYS suspect of people who call themselves bisexual, just wondering when they'll come out as gay. Consequently many bisexuals don't identify openly as such to many people for fear of ridicule from both sides. It's a shame because the spectrum of sexuality is wide and the gay community (in which I identify myself) should be the last ones to deny that.

    Further, the choice thing. I've ALWAYS had a problem with the strict biological definition that the queer community has leaned upon in the past few decades. It's been about 20 years since the first evidence of it began emerging, however there has been no definitive proof as of yet and I venture to guess, just like there is a broad spectrum of sexuality, there are probably numerous factors where homosexuals and heterosexuals diverge and overlap biologically and no one piece can determine a person's sexuality. Personally I think the biological definition is one that has been thrust upon our community by the conservative right. We have been backed into a corner to defend our attraction and using biological determinism as our foundation has been most comfortable. To say otherwise leaves the door open to reparative therapy, but I think the queer community should be able to say "Yes, it can be a choice. For many it certainly is not, but quite a few people can and do choose this lifestyle openly. And, No we don't believe reparative therapy will work for either case." We're here, we're queer, whether we choose it or not, we're not going away!"

    Posted by: Madam Bomb | Jan 24, 2012 2:53:05 PM

  11. Thanks, Little Kiwi. The idea that everyone experiences their gayness in the same way is absurd. She feels like she has made a choice to follow her desire to be in a gay relationship. It is true! Straight people do it, too, choose to enter into straight relationships. Everyone does. We have desires and we have wills. Saying that we have choices doesn't negate our inherent _rights_ as human beings. Rather, saying that we do have choices about who we love exercises our innate rights. Adults should be free to enter into whatever types of consenting relationships with other adults they can come up with -- it doesn't depend on whether or not they are "innately" gay or not. It depends on the a priori assumption that all human beings have the right to exercise their free will.

    Posted by: bigots | Jan 24, 2012 2:53:41 PM

  12. And let's not forget how much this woman has done and is doing for equality in this country. She's been an articulate, passionate voice of reason for some time now. I understand what she's saying. I don't need to agree with it, and I certainly don't think she's setting us back or giving ammo to anyone to use against us. The vitriol is already there, and that's part of what she's getting at.

    Posted by: RICK | Jan 24, 2012 2:54:35 PM

  13. Go Kiwi! Agreed.

    Posted by: Madam Bomb | Jan 24, 2012 2:55:11 PM

  14.'re so right.
    I'm not sure why anyone wants to deprive anyone else of "self-identifying" their own sexuality. It smells a lot like what "they" try to do to "us", but only worse because they always have the stupid excuse, we don't. Yeah Cynthia...yeah Kiwi !!!

    Posted by: Paul B. | Jan 24, 2012 2:55:43 PM

  15. Well, she's gotten more press - that's always a plus in her line of business. Sometimes press for doing and saying things that don't make sense can come back to bite you.

    Posted by: Mark | Jan 24, 2012 2:56:43 PM

  16. I agree with Ms. Nixon 1000 percent. Those of you who are still playing the bigots' game justifying your existence by bleating "but I can't help it" are the real stupid contingent here.

    Posted by: cranky1 | Jan 24, 2012 2:57:08 PM

  17. how can the "choice" thing be used against us? look, i'm 100% exclusively into males, always have been. and yes, that includes the FTM guy i dated.

    the people who use "choice" against us aren't going to have their minds swayed by any form of sociological or scientific evidence. truly.

    look at Creationists, look at anti-Evolutionsists.


    they will have an excuse for everything because they dont' have the intellectual capacity, not the security of self, to accept factual reality.

    it's like when insecure homosexuals blame "Pride Parades" for anti-gay prejudice, despite the sheer simple fact that anti-gay bigots DO NOT ATTEND PRIDE PARADES and are therefore not in any way "influenced" by them.

    just because a stupid anti-gay bigot says something doesn't mean that it has any value, or worth, or truth.

    "being gay is a choice" doesn't mean that being gay is bad, despite what anti-gay bigots say.
    "liking Barbra Streisand" is not a bad thing, no matter what Jason/Rick/His Dad says.

    when someone is anti-gay and uses the "it's a choice" nonsense as their defense, they're proving how intellectually mediocre they are. stop worrying about the opinions of the intellectually stunted.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 24, 2012 2:57:44 PM

  18. I have a new sexuality category for celebs like Cynthia Nixon - Hecheuality (named for Anne Heche). They are lesbians when their careers are stalled and str8 when they get a gig.

    Posted by: OccupyEquality | Jan 24, 2012 2:57:49 PM

  19. Since she is bisexual, she can, given the right circumstances, fall in love with either a man or a women. That is the "choice" she has, but she was indeed born bisexual.

    Some people are born right-handed, some left-handed, and a smaller number are born ambidexterous.

    It's exactly the same thing with sexuality.

    Posted by: Jeff | Jan 24, 2012 3:01:20 PM

  20. She is so shocking amazingly and introspective...then why am 100% bored by her.

    Posted by: Vern Dufford | Jan 24, 2012 3:04:28 PM

  21. Another hyper-selfish narcissist -- it's all about HER. Did she ever think that she was in this thing called life with other people as well? And why do we even listen to actors? They are talented at acting, not political analysis.

    Posted by: Dan | Jan 24, 2012 3:04:42 PM

  22. DAMMIT Occupyequality, you beat me to it, and I was getting so hopeful. My first thought reading this was "Shades of Anne Heche."

    Love Sessums, btw, check out his autobiography.

    Posted by: jim | Jan 24, 2012 3:06:13 PM

  23. So she's caving to bigots who don't like bisexuals, but not caving to bigots who think gays shouldn't have rights if it's a choice. Makes perfect sense.

    Posted by: Johnny | Jan 24, 2012 3:06:55 PM

  24. Scientifically, too, the fact of the matter is that we have no way to know if anybody is "born" gay and why we would spend time constructing a politics around this is absolutely mind blowing and short-sighted. Sexual orientation and gender identity are probably a mish-mash of culture, genetics, and experience. Very little about human beings is as simple as "born this way" -- least of all something as complicated as who we're hot for or who we love.

    Posted by: bigots | Jan 24, 2012 3:08:59 PM

  25. Why are people badgering her about it? Can't she be whatever she wants? We all know it's unacceptable to harass a pre-op transgender female and say "you've got a penis so you're a man!!!". She does sound like a really uptight person though. I'd just say "yep i'm bisexual" and stop making a big drama queen deal out of it. And that's the first i've heard of everyone hating bisexuals. No Cynthia, it's the gays and trans that get by far the most hate.

    Posted by: DanSwon | Jan 24, 2012 3:10:10 PM

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