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To My Unborn Child, If You're a 'Fag', I'll Kill You: VIDEO


Charlotte Moore, the creator of this new PSA, writes:

In early March, the hashtag "#tomyunbornchild" became a worldwide trend on Twitter. By and large, these tweets were loving, hopeful messages to the next generation -- but many people saw it as an opportunity to express hate speech towards LGBT children.

Reading their bile, the only thing I could think was: how would we feel if we heard actual parents saying this to actual children? I got the idea on a Thursday. By Sunday, we -- me, my boyfriend, and whatever friends we could find to help us -- had it filmed.

It's easy to dehumanize hate speech online because we've gotten so used to seeing it. We tell ourselves that it's the product of trolls, of random, anonymous strangers.  Except they're not. They're real people. Many of them will be parents. And some of their children will be gay. But what can we DO about it? I don't think there are any easy answers.

Whenever you believe life begins, I hope we can all agree: life is essential, and rare, and precious. We can't stop anyone from having kids. But we can resolve to stop this toxic cycle. We can wish better for our own children. And we can support the kids who weren't so lucky.


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  1. Uhh. This is supposed to be serious? Seems like a Swiftian approach to homophobic parents.

    It must be.

    Posted by: tomjck22112 | Apr 4, 2012 10:22:55 PM

  2. I think this is very effective. It shows just how sick this homophobic language is. I'm glad this was made.

    Posted by: mike128 | Apr 4, 2012 10:31:44 PM

  3. Hmm... Um 95% of the tweets were made by the African American community.

    Posted by: Michael | Apr 5, 2012 1:56:12 AM

  4. So Michael, how's that grand scheme from NOM to drive a wedge between the gay and African American communities going? Good effort on your part!

    Posted by: Griff | Apr 5, 2012 2:53:41 AM

  5. "I hope we can all agree: life is essential, and rare, and precious."

    No it's not.
    Essential: to whom? Human life is certainly not essential to the other animal and plant life forms...

    Rare: With 7 billion people (and bilions of billions of animals and plants), it's certainly not rare. Have you ever visited an orphanage? Kids, they're everywhere.

    Precious: Well, non-human life doesn't seem to precious to most people, and even human lif isn't so precious we're not wasting it in wars, dangerous work, death sentences etc.

    The people who say that are the kind of people who have an embroidery in their kitchen saying something like "New friends are silver, Old friends are gold."

    Posted by: Dr Mortimer | Apr 5, 2012 4:15:42 AM

  6. Roughly 80% of the homophobic tweets displayed here were by black people.

    But...there's definitely not anymore issues with homophobia in the black community vs other communities (a myth that will stiffles chance for real progress)

    It's a shame no one can talk about the hovering elephant in the room, and when we try, we're called a racist
    A respectful and realistic poster who is as far away from being white, or ignorant, or racist, but as realist as it can get.

    Posted by: USC Trojan Fan | Apr 5, 2012 6:07:49 AM

  7. Huffington Post recently did an article on this horrible story. The highlighted the most violent tweets, and of the 20 insanely violent ones they highlighted, about 17 of them were from black individuals. It was very discouraging, but not surprising. I've always felt as though, until the LGBT community can't have a forth coming and real conversation about homophobia in the black copulation, than homophobia won't get much better. It's an awkward and uncomfortable conversation, but one that is vital to be had. Vital.

    Posted by: IonMovies | Apr 5, 2012 6:10:15 AM

  8. It is interesting that most of the homophobic comments did come from African Americans but the people in the video were white. Let's call it what it is.

    Posted by: Jack M | Apr 5, 2012 7:38:26 AM

  9. powerful......this could definitely be a continual thing...

    How about a parent saying....."when your born we'll Love you with all our hearts, but IF you come to us at 14 and tell us your gay...we're Disowning you & throwing your ass OUT on the street to fend for yourself"

    Posted by: Disgusted American | Apr 5, 2012 8:00:43 AM

  10. Very effective. Exactly the type of creativity that has been lacking in activism for a long time. Good work.

    Posted by: Ted | Apr 5, 2012 8:55:31 AM

  11. It's really not a racial thing. It's cultural and it's religion. I scrolled through and viewed the twitter pages of the hateful commenters. Almost ALL of them were openly religious. The majority of them were the wannabe-urban types. That's the real reality. The real reality is that it's not skin color that creates homophobia. The problem areas/groups are the same problem areas/groups they've always been in regards to their feelings towards gay people. So instead of looking at race, let's take a look into why urban/hip-hop culture continues to promote homophobia, and sexism. Let's touch on the obvious fact that there is a serious schism still between homosexuality and religion in society. Let's ask ourselves why "bro" type hyper-masculine young dudes think being anti-gay somehow makes them more of men. The answers to all these questions are pretty obvious. Want to fix homophobia, you have to fix the mentality that fosters it. Period.

    The biggest issue I have is that these are basically all people between 13-21 years old. Most young people these days we're seeing are standing up for their gay friends, family members, the gay community. But we still have a lot of work to do in growing acceptance and supplying information to the youth in our country, and world.

    Posted by: Francis | Apr 5, 2012 9:55:38 AM

  12. Let's also discuss class as well as race. Many of the texters who used the offensive speech and words on the original tweets were from people who were probably, shall we say politely, not from the most educated bunch. The people in this video look pretty comfortably middle-class, and are probably much less likely (not 100% unlikely, but much less likely) to use violent, threatening rhetoric against their kids. They may be homophobic and reject their kids, but I'm not sure they'd be talking about killing them the way those original lovelies did. Some homophobia is rooted in religious prejudice, but a lot of it is based on plain old ignorance. Those original tweeters covered up their lack of knowledge and compassion with braggadocio and aggressiveness and posturing.

    Posted by: Dback | Apr 5, 2012 10:13:26 AM

  13. The gay community has been forced into silence in not tackling a wide spread issue that affects so many...and that's the presence of black homophobia. It's ever present, and in some areas...overwhelming, but we're told that if we even so much as mention it, we're racist. Now what does that accomplish? does that bridge the gap? does that enable progress being made in a community (African American) that desperately needs to be educated on gay related issues? No. It silences it, and stops any potential growth or accomplishment. Instead, we're told to not only ignore the problem, but pretend it doesn't exist.

    A specific campaign targetting a specific demographic IS effective. Far more effective than pretending there's no problem within that demographic.

    Posted by: L.J | Apr 5, 2012 10:20:23 AM

  14. We often hear how the younger generation is progressing on gay rights, and they are, but to be brutally honest, within black youth it's actually the opposite. Most displayed homophobia is by black youth, not elderly blacks. Whereas in all other groups, the older generation is more homophobic while the younger generation is more tolerant or supportive. It's rather alarming that within the black population, it's the younger ones who are the most vocally homophobic. That needs to be changed.

    Posted by: Kyle | Apr 5, 2012 10:24:42 AM

  15. That video was for the people who made the offending Tweets in the first place? FAIL. Uhm - didn't you see the original stories? They didn't exactly have pastel sweaters, to say the least.

    Posted by: MarkUs | Apr 5, 2012 10:25:03 AM

  16. Good point, DBack, and very true. Class is, obviously, another factor here. And yes, most of the tweets were made by kids who are pretty obviously stupid, probably have little to no contact with gay people/culture outside of their schools. A very large portion of them were also from rural areas. All of this is just a product of environment, ignorance breeds ignorance. Same with young black urban teens displaying homophobia. The problem about making it solely about race is that simplifies the issue when it isn't that simple. And when homophobia is a problem in all groups.

    Posted by: Francis | Apr 5, 2012 10:48:32 AM

  17. Any parent who stops loving their child because the find out that child is gay didn't love the child in the first place. Loving a child should be unconditional. That doesn't mean that you will always agree with, always understand, always accept or even always like that child but you can, and should, always love them. Nothing positive ever comes from hate and nothing is worse than hating your own flesh and blood.

    Posted by: ThomT | Apr 5, 2012 1:32:33 PM

  18. FAIL, MARKUS? Really? People who were moved by the disgusting homophobia displayed in those tweets decided to do something about it. They made a video, out of compassion. They wanted to add their voice to the debate. They didn't stop to recruit rappers and wanna-be thugs and make sure that the offenders got their message. They didn't wait until it was "just right," by whatever standard you would hold. They just made their statement, obviously one not good enough for you.

    So, where's your much better and more effective video?

    And FRANCIS - Thank you for your perspectives. Carry on.

    Posted by: TJ | Apr 5, 2012 1:35:48 PM

  19. how come everyone who blames "the black community" for homophobia can never show the specific work that their own White Families are doing to promote LGBT Equality?

    it's puzzling.....

    Posted by: LittleKiwi | Apr 5, 2012 1:44:42 PM

  20. I've been reading the original posts from the link above, and I'm only just beginning to "get" what this video is about. So Swiftian it is.

    And yes, it appears most of those orig tweets are from black men.

    So, what's new here? Anything? Other than the video is white people, and the tweets are black people. Now I'm beginning to "get" Tracy Morgan's joke a few months back about killing his son if he were gay. I think he was mocking those homophobic black brothers, but the lefties and screaming Mimi's cried foul (and I did too).

    We need to let the elephant OUT of the room, and shoot it down with a video featuring more black folks, and we need more black folks in honest, true POSITIVE portrayals of gay men, women and families.
    I'm so lucky I happen to know one, and the parents are more accepting of me than my own!

    Posted by: tomjck22112 | Apr 5, 2012 2:33:57 PM

  21. One last thought, you've got to suspect some of the orig. tweets are from homophobic children making a sick joke. They aren't old enough to even fit into a condom.

    Posted by: tomjck22112 | Apr 5, 2012 2:35:36 PM

  22. I approve of the message but the delivery... not so much. Many of the tweeters were African American and should reflect that diversity. Let's not water down the message with racism here.

    Posted by: Marc C | Apr 5, 2012 3:17:58 PM

  23. @little kiwi you are a tireseome holier-than-thou intellectuallly dishonest internet security dog posting yet another diversionary irrational hissy fit.

    put your head back in the sand and call me racist too

    Posted by: gomez | Apr 5, 2012 4:12:40 PM

  24. @Gomez... I get that you have an obsession with me. I just don't know what your point is.

    prove me wrong.

    i don't consider myself holier than anyone, nor do i consider myself anything other than very average, actually.

    i just have no fears about putting a face to my averageness.
    it's not my fault you're not confident enough in your beliefs or opinions to do the same.

    Posted by: LittleKiwi | Apr 5, 2012 4:18:38 PM

  25. @little kiwi. lol. don't flatter yourself. i barely respond on this board as it is. in fact i just checked out your blog just now for the very first time. some obsession huh? hows that for proving you wrong? get over your "very average" self.

    point? real life identity has squat to do with the validity of claims on an internet posting board which should be judged on their own merit.

    so what you reveal your real identity. here's a cookie. it doesn't give weight to any argument in the slightest.

    you're a clown

    Posted by: gomez | Apr 5, 2012 4:50:48 PM

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