North Dakota College Football Player Kicked Off Team After Kissing His Boyfriend

Dan Savage reports on a North Dakota college student who was kicked off his football team after players caught him kissing his (much older) boyfriend in a press box.

KuntzJamie Kuntz, a student at North Dakota State College of Science, a small junior college in Wapheton, North Dakota, was planning to transfer on a football scholarship to a larger school from which he had offers. That's probably not happening now.

Savage writes:

Those plans fell apart after Kuntz traveled to a football game against Snow College in Pueblo, Colorado, on Labor Day Weekend. Kuntz had a concussion and wasn’t supposed to go to Pueblo but at the last minute Kuntz was tapped to film the game. Kuntz’s boyfriend, who lives in Denver, met Kuntz in Pueblo and sat with him in the otherwise deserted press box while Kuntz filmed the game.

"We were getting destroyed," says Kuntz, "the game was a total blowout. And I guess I got bored and so I kissed my boyfriend and some of my teammates saw us.”

After the game—just before a 15-hour bus ride back to North Dakota—NDSCS’s head football coach, Chuck Parsons, pulled Kuntz off the bus and confronted him. Kuntz denied kissing the man with him in the press box and he denied being gay. Kuntz was on Twitter for most of the bus ride back to Wapheton. He sent some tweets that alarmed his roommate—Kuntz hinted at being suicidal—and the police were called. After the police determined that he was not a suicide risk, Kuntz sent his coach a text message saying that he was gay and that he had kissed the man who was with him in the press box. Kuntz also apologized to his coach for lying.

The next morning Kuntz’s coach called him for a meeting.

Kuntz was thrown off the team. Two days later he withdrew from school and now lives with his mom, who learned he was gay as the episode unfolded when Kuntz changed his Twitter profile from "football player" to "gay football player". Savage called the school and offers some interviews with other players on the team. He also published part of the letter from the football coach and it's pretty obvious that homophobia is at work all the way around.

But there's another issue in play, and that's the age of Kuntz's boyfriend:

One detail about Jamie Kuntz' story makes it highly unlikely that he
will become a poster child for young gay athletes: Kuntz’s boyfriend is
65 years old.

“When my coach pulled me off the bus that night and asked me who that
was with me in the press box,” Kuntz says, “I said, ‘Oh, that was my
grandpa up there with me. I wasn't kissing my grandpa, I don’t know what you’re talking about.’”

Kuntz says that he has always been attracted to older men. Kuntz was
18 when he met his boyfriend online and Kuntz says he was the aggressor.

“I definitely pursued him," says Kuntz. "He’s a great guy. I love him."

Savage adds:

Impulsively making out with your boyfriend in a press box
isn’t the best way for a gay college athlete to come out to his
teammates. But Kuntz’s impulsiveness—or Kuntz's recklessness—is
understandable. He is a teenager. It's hard to feel anything
but anger for Kuntz's boyfriend. The elder man's reckless disregard for
his Kuntz's future, to say nothing of Kuntz's physical safety, is much
harder to excuse.

Read the full story HERE, and there's plenty more that I didn't include.


  1. Mike says

    A kiss is just a kiss unless the anti-gay homophobic Christians are watching, which is none of their business. When are we going to kick these people out of our sex lives where they do not belong? That goes for you heterosexuals too, because these fanatical Christians want to control your sex lives and your bodies too.

  2. Icebloo says

    Ugh, why do these older gusy ALWAYS have to date these young kids ? What is wrong with them ?

    I think the school has no right to throw the kid off his team for being gay or for whatever other reason they invent. He’s gay. Get over it. If he was good enough for a football scholarship before then he’s still good enough.

    If the boy was 18 when he met the older man then he is legally entitled to do that even if most of us don’t approve. That should not have any bearing on his scholarship either.

    We need to start a campaign to get this kid his scholarship back. He’s too young to be screwed over. We need to make sure he still gets his education.

  3. redball says

    just read the part about his man’s age and: wow!! KINKY!!! i love it. let your freak flag fly high, man. we’re all freaks in our own way. hard for any of us to know for sure, but sounds like a cute relationship. more power to them.

  4. Pete N SFO says

    Savage’s comments read like homophobia or ageism… take your pic.

    If not for homophobia, there’s nothing alarming about a kiss between lovers. The age difference is a personal issue, and hardly a first- straight or gay.

    Up until this incident, these were private people, who should be allowed privacy in their own life choices.

  5. Feral says

    Really disappointed in Dan Savage that he turned this into a “blame-the-old-boyfriend” narrative… What the hell does the man’s age have to do with any of this?

  6. redball says

    oh, wow, so here comes the anti-elderly backlash.

    well, the young man DID say he was the aggressor so…not sure what the problem is here.

    when i was a 16-year-old PYT full of hormones & curiosity, i too was the aggressor when i was lucky enough to (carefully) find a 31-year-old to show me the ropes and man did he do a great job. my first mentor in gay s*x [at work so not writing it out]. we still talk from time to time, 15 years later.

    at a time in your life when u have no one to come out to, having an older gay mentor can be a wonderful, life-changing experience–as long as you pick wisely. (as for me, i talked w/ the guy for months before deciding to finally meet up; back then, in the mid-90s, there were tons of stories of teens being abducted or even killed by predators they’d first met online–so i was acutely aware of the dangers and took steps to prevent them).

  7. Jeff says

    Guys: Stop paying attention to the “older boyfriend” piece.

    Call the following three individuals and ask for the resignation and/or termination of Chuck Parsons and the restoration of Jamie Kuntz to the football team.

    Chuck Parsons: 701-671-2447

    His boss, Stu Engel: 701-671-2446

    The president of NDSCS: 701-671-2221

    This guy Jamie is one of our own and we should come to his defense — not leave him stranded.

  8. Caliban says

    Look, I understand why some people might be leery of an 18 year old dating someone who is 47 years older than he is. I have my own doubts about it, but we as a society have chosen 18 as the age of consent for sexual activity, so no matter what you think of his choices, the relationship is apparently consensual and neither Jamie nor the older man broke any laws. Its no more OR less unseemly than Hugh Hefner with his “Playmates” or any of thousands of “trophy wives” married to some codger.

    Jamie is an adult in all ways except drinking laws so while you might not agree with him, he has the right to do what he’s doing.

    His dismissal from the team was motivated by homophobia and the gay community should stand up for him. It’s pure BS that because he left the school the school can’t comment- he was a student when these things happened and that’s what matters.

    I do think the older man bears some responsibility here. Like Jamie I was sexually active at a young age and most of partners were older than I was. But while I was naive I was no blushing innocent. If there is ANY rule that should govern a legal, consensual cross-generational relationship it’s close to the Hippocratic Oath doctors take, “First, do no harm.” The guiding principle should be for the older partner to leave the younger one in a better state than he found him.

    I am considerably younger than the older man in this story and I cannot imagine pursuing an 18 year old. Heck, 35 is my current cut-off age! So while I don’t approve of the relationship from a certain standpoint, it’s entirely legal and consensual so what I think doesn’t really matter that much. And this young man should suffer because he kissed his boyfriend, beyond whatever minor punishment he might get for lying. And please. Don’t tell that EVERY player on that team hasn’t lied to the coach in one way or another, from how they’re doing in their classes to whether they drink alcohol.

  9. Lee says

    65 ewes! Date within your own age group people no more than 10 years older or 10 years younger, the last thing we need is these chicken hawks messin things up for us. But still the football coach should be fired and the school punished.

  10. RyanInWyo (formerly RyanInSacto) says

    My impression of what Savage meant by the “elder man’s reckless disregard for Kuntz’s future” was that the older guy didn’t consider the danger he was putting Kuntz in by making out with him at a football game when it’s clear that Kuntz was not out to anyone on the team. That does strike me as reckless disregard coming from a 65 year old who has probably been around the block once or twice and should know better.

    And before you call me ageist… I have a thing for older guys too (maybe not 47 years older, but to each his own). I just expect a 65 year old to have more foresight than a teenager does and I think he’s therefore obliged to *use* that foresight. This is a “campsite rule” situation. If you don’t know what I mean, google it.

  11. RyanInWyo (formerly RyanInSacto) says

    By the way, “reckless” behavior on the part of the older guy aside, this is still completely wrong on the part of the coach and Kuntz should not have been kicked off the team, period.

  12. Robert K. says

    Ryan, the article quotes Jamie as saying that he was the one who initiated the kiss because he was bored with the game, so I don’t see how the older boyfriend was responsible for what happened.

  13. Continuum says

    The kid was 18 and of legal age. It’s nobody business if he decides to date an older man.

    For Savage to blame the boyfriend is just another example of blaming the victim.

    The coach and the school deserve condemnation for sticking their noses into this kid’s personal life. The homophobe flage flies high at this school.

    We should support the kid (and his bf), and not become part of the school’s obvious prejudice and bigotry.

  14. Ronny says

    This is homophobia and should be treated as such.

    We’ve been given no concrete evidence that the older partner initiated anything.

    And while it’s lovely to make pronouncements about age brackets, I see plenty of personal ads from guys in their 30s, 40s and 50s who will date NO ONE older than them, but are willing to go a decade or more younger. Who are we to judge if someone is attracted in the other direction? And why do I think there wouldn’t be as strong a reaction if the older partner were 35?

    Let’s support the kid. He needs some support.

  15. LoveYoungerMEN says

    Hot damn, Jamie Kuntz is HOT!!

    Hey Jamie…if you ever want to date a younger man (I’m 45), I’ll be happy to send you a one way ticket to the city where I live. 😉

  16. belo says

    There is nothing worse than gay men telling others that an 18 year old loving a 65 year old is wrong. They’re adults, it’s consensual, no laws are broken and it’s their own damn business. If you don’t want someone forcing you to love or marry a woman, then don’t pass judgment on this couple either.

  17. Bill says

    I’m not sure about the comment, “That does strike me as reckless disregard coming from a 65 year old who has probably been around the block once or twice and should know better.” The original article sort of blamed the older guy, but quoted him as telling his younger friend that they shouldn’t do it. A kiss happened anyway (apparently not anything else), so they are really blaming the older guy for not reacting quicker to a surge in his younger friend’s hormones after his younger friend was warned. Also, it seems the younger guy initiated getting together with the older guy.

    Given that (i.e., assuming those reports are true and the whole story), I wouldn’t call the older guy a “predator” or blame him for putting his friend’s future at risk.

    I think the coaching staff should be blamed. Whatever excuse they make, the way they treated this individual was not consistent with how they treated other players, and prejudice seems to be the only plausible explanation.

  18. Peter Jenkins says

    When is Savage going to no longer be given relevance for his hate speech? This story is chock full of ageist commentary. Love is love, and I’m sure Mr. Savage wouldn’t call out someone like this if their age were, say cut by 40 years.

    In my opinion, Mr. Savage represents the worst parts of the upper-middle class white gay male portion of our community. Time and time again he has shown his colors. He has shown disdain and hatred for trans, bi, and older people.

    Is there any honest reason why we should allow such a pro-G but anti-LGBT person to represent us, on any level, when we have plenty of people who love all of our community. He has privilege, he’s an A-gay, but he get’s an F for actually helping advance equality, except for himself.

  19. DanSwon says

    A lot of dumb reactionary comments from people who don’t know what they’re talking about. Whatever your (totally irrelevant) opinion about their relationship is, this guy has clearly been dropped because he’s gay. That is homophobia.

  20. throwslikeagirl says

    I’m disgusted with the ageism coming from Savage and some of the comments here. Aren’t those of us who are part of the LGBT community trying to get the idea across that anyone should feel free to love anyone? Some of the comments sound exactly like comments from people who are against gay marriage and even any gay relationships at all. This is shameful.

  21. rjp3 says

    18 is an adult when I last checked and not a “teenager” — come on people they go to war and vote … they should be able to date people of whatever age they want … and even kiss them in public

  22. JohnAGJ says

    I find the extreme age difference to be absolutely disgusting, but that’s a side issue. I could comment more on that since I strongly object to it yet it’s not really relevant here. It’s clear that he wasn’t booted from the team for dating a MUCH older person, which isn’t against any official rules I know of anyways, but for the fact that this MUCH older person was in fact a man. That’s homophobia and I hope they nail the coach and school for it.

  23. elangay says

    The ageism in these comments is disgusting. The ages of these friends is irrelevant. The discrimination and homophobia are not. File a lawsuit, Jamie, for all the money you need to finish college. Welcome to the out and proud world.

  24. Joey says

    I am shocked by the blatant ageism here. I see very little light between what the Christians are saying about gay sex and what the ageist people on this post are saying. Gross too old/gross two men. You really have no right to judge what two adults do. Dan grow up and stop trying to make everyone conform to your idea of how people should act. Really an embarrassing article.

  25. TomTallis says

    Wow! All the ageist bigotry being posted here. All I can say is that if you don’t want to sleep with older men, then don’t do so. To post that you are somehow disgusted with someone who likes older men is just as bigoted as the FRC or the AFA. Get a life. Get a brain. Get some empathy.

  26. B says

    A suggestion to the guy who wrote, “I find the extreme age difference to be absolutely disgusting”: the 18 year old football player apparently chased after the 65 year old guy, so why don’t you express your opinion to the 18 year old football player in person?

    Hint – 18 year old football players generally do not take kindly to anyone trying to push them around. If you are lucky, all that will happen is that he’ll tell you to go away, no doubt using much more colorful language. If you are not so lucky, make sure your medical insurance has been paid.

  27. Mike in the Tundra says

    @ Lee – only 10 years? My late husband was a little over 15 years older than me. We were together for 28 wonderful years. I like older men – period. Of course, as every year passes, there are fewer and fewer older men.

    If a 65 year old man took up with an 18 year old girl, he would be getting slaps on the back. As long as the 18 year old is happy, it’s only the couple’s business.

  28. Dback says

    Well, Mitt Romney is around 65, and I had a sex dream about him a few months ago that made my toes curl. (I’d never VOTE for him, but he’s certainly a nice-looking man.) However, I’m 45, so that’s only a 20-year difference.

    What the hell, they’re both consenting adults with their eyes open, love is love. Jamie should be reinstate to the team, and he and his partner can go have a nice romantic dinner–at 4:30. (At least they’ll be done before Jamie has practice.) :)

  29. RyanInWyo (formerly RyanInSacto) says

    Is anyone here (assuming you’re not 18 now) the same person that you were when you were 18? No, of course you’re not. That’s because 18 is completely different from 25, 35 or, certainly, 65. If you deny that, then you’re denying reality and science as well. An 18 year old’s brain is not even finished developing yet, which affects decision-making ability. “Recent studies show that neural insulation [which is important for mature decision making] isn’t complete until the mid-20s.” That quote is from an NPR article that you can find here:

    You can find the same kind of information from all kinds of legitimate sources if you bother to look for it. The fact is, while these two people have every right to be together, the 65 year old needs to take responsibility in questionable situations like making out at a football game – even if the younger man initiated it – when he surely knew the uproar it was going to cause in this young man’s life. I’m sure he was not ignorant of the fact that, apparently, Kuntz was not out to anyone on the team including his coach.

    All of you who deny or ignore the responsibility that an older person has when engaging in a relationship with a younger person… well, I just don’t know what to say to you except that I hope your judgment improves should you find yourself the elder in such a relationship. Equal rights does not mean that life becomes a free-for-all. We have responsibilities to each other and we most certainly have responsibilities to the young people in our community. If making this statement makes me “ageist” then so be it.

  30. says

    It looks like he’s pretty good at football if he’s getting scholarship offers from bigger schools. I hope one of those schools is still sensible enough to realize this should be no big deal and stand with the kid who they were making an offer to, to begin with.

    Ultimately, the kid didn’t really do anything wrong. Kissing someone while taping a game is inappropriate, but hardly a reason to get kicked off a team, never mind forced into leaving the entire school. Straight guys do FAR WORSE on football teams *across the country* without so much as getting a slap on the wrist.

    If the kid doesn’t get another offer, he should absolutely sue based on discrimination. I hope Lambda Legal or the ACLU will take up his case. If he does get into another school and is able to play football, he should probably just let the episode go and move on, but is still certainly within his right to still sue.

    To anyone who’d question his choice in a boyfriend, it’s *his* choice. Is it a little weird? Yeah, sure, but lots of people do lots of weird things. As long as it’s consensual (and it is), no one should be doing any moralizing over it, and it’s certainly no better reason to kick someone off a team than because they’re gay.

    This whole thing is atrocious. The school must immediately offer him his football spot back, reinstatement into the school and the coach should at least be suspended (and better yet, fired). Discrimination cannot be tolerated, not even in North Dakota.

  31. says

    The kid made the first move, and the old man, who was probably thinking of the hot night ahead in the motel room after the game, was too stunned to push the kid away lest people saw what’s happening. At 18, instant gratification just takes too long, and at 65 you just can’t believe a good-looking 18 year-old’s got the hots for you all your guards are down. Don’t conflate your image of this old guy with Sandusky — they’re two different people.

  32. andrew says

    Jamie, If most of us looked half as good as you, we would have been even more successful in our careers than we have been. Life is not fair, but I think you have been delt the better hand. Play it!!!!

  33. Steerpike says

    Yeah that’s nomophobia but HELL, why couldn’t the boyfriend have beenunder 50 at least. 65 makes the kid a gerontophile and I have little patience with men over 30 who pursue relationships with those under 20. I’v met them and they either have a fetish about the young (common but no basis for a real relationship) or they are boy-men who refuse to grow up and thing that they ‘feel younger and more themslves’ when surrounde by people many, many years younger than them, in which case fine but don’t have sex with them you old vampire. The only problem here (as a media item) is that the right-wing is going to go down the same road that the coach is on and start Jerry Sandusky-ing this thing. Let’s face it, if this relationship is more than two years old, the older man is a rapist and a pedophile. Step back people. The boyfriend might (WILL) have a string of other, even younger guys in his background (15? 13?) and we don’t need to be waving bunting until people have a look at who he was dating when he was 55, or 60. Be realistic. This is political.

  34. Steerpike says

    Oh and let me say that my boyfriend of 17 years is 14 years older than me. He and I pursue mentoring and friendship relationships with young men. Some of them fancy one or the other of us. We don’t sleep with them, EVER. Sorry but sex under such circumstances causes too many problems. Older men have different needs (which they deny at their peril), and they are more complex than just the desire for smooth fresh skin and the somewhat vacant optimism of the young.

  35. John K. says

    I’m usually a Dan Savage fan, but wtf is he talking about here?? There is absolutely nothing acceptable about what the football coach did here, and nothing wrong with what the player or his boyfriend did. True, I suppose you still have the account for the risks that outrageous anti-gay actions will still take place even by officials who should know better. But to blame the boyfriend is so out in left field that it’s unbelievable. But anyway, I really hope this player does not stand for this and goes after the football coach and the school for this. Outrageous.

  36. Steerpike says

    Oh and dudes. You are a gay dad. You have a 17 year old son with his whole life ahead of him. College next year. On the threshold of freedom and possibility. He says he has a boyfriend. Yay! That’s great. What’s he like? The boyfriend is 65. What do you say? That this is sensible? That your relationship is going to grow and develop and enrich over TIME?

    I feel the same way about this as I do about women who use fertility treatment to get prtegnant when they’re 62. Selfish.

  37. John K. says

    Steerpike: You can say what you want about the relationship. You are not his dad. More importantly, the coach is not his dad. Clearly, the kid wants to be in this relationship now. If he wants to be in it, and if his boyfriend wants to be in it, that is THEIR business. How many relationships, gay or straight, last and enrich over the long run when they start at 18? Whether it does or does not, you have no right to judge their intentions or whether it will last long enough to suit your liking. But this is all beside the point. The bottom line is that the coach is at the absolute bottom of the hierarchy of whose business this is.

  38. says

    Why does homophobia still exist? Well, because when gay people learn about a gay couple either attacked, or beat or fired when one is older than the other… The conversation and points made by some instantly ignore the homophobic angle of the story and automatically attack the couple for dating someone older/younger. THAT’S homophobia folks. You drank the kool aid. You ignored the blatant homophobia here only to attack the couple.

  39. Cortiz says

    If you gays are going to attack gay couples for dating older men, my question is, give me a logical reason why heterosexuals can’t attack us for dating the same sex.
    Both arguments revolve around the ‘ick’ factor and normalcy, so if you’re going to attack gay people for dating older, heteros have every right to attack you for dating the same sex too.

  40. stranded says

    I know a couple who’ve been together over 20 years, one in his forties and one in his eighties. The younger one pursued the older one and they have a great life together. The explicit prejudices revealed here in this thread are monstrous. What is it we say again about who decides who a person is allowed to date? Oh yeah, it’s only ok if I approve of it. Because that’s worked so well in the past. As usual though, Savage is deplorable.

  41. Mike says

    HEY! We can not see into their hearts so we can not even attempt to know just what they feel or mean to each other. So just knock it off and support them. (What we have here are just two evils: homophobia and ageism.) More power to them. I think that LOVE is great no matter the same sex or even the age!

  42. Jed says

    those who find intergenerational relationships “nasty” and “disgusting” should be prepared to accept it when people like tony perkins and his ilk call their gay relationships nasty and disgusting.

  43. Francis says

    You all don’t have your priorities in order. Jamie was kicked off the team due to homophobia yet most of the discussion is revolving around the age of his boyfriend. That is completely irrelevant regarding the fact that blatant anti-gay actions have taken place at this North Dakota college school. We need to all email this school and let it be known that they will not get away with these homophobic actions.

    This kid is 18 and what he needs most in this time of need is support. It’s sad that some of you are so judgmental that you fail to understand that and show some empathy.

  44. Rick says

    OK, my thoughts on the matter (I know you have all been waiting for them).

    First of all, there is no evidence he was kicked off the team because he is gay; he seems to have been kicked off the team because he behaved irresponsibly, bringing someone into the press box who should not have been there and then making out with them instead of doing the job he was supposed to be doing.

    Would he have been kicked off if the person he was making out with was a hot young female? Maybe not, but we don’t know that for sure, so in the absence of explicit homophobic references, you are jumping to conclusions that may or may not be valid.

    Second, I am 54 and I have a very, very hard time believing that a hot 18-year-old blonde jock is attracted to any 65-year-old. I just don’t believe it. Either money is being exchanged or the kid has some kind of bizarre father issue that needs to be resolved with the assistance of a mental health professional. Which would make the incident in the press box even more inappropriate.

    That said, yes, gay male culture is extremely ageist in the sense that young, attractive people feel contempt for older people whose age has necessarily made them less attractive. We are all going to grow old and lose our physical attractiveness in the process, so this is incredibly short-sighted on the part of all concerned.

    Because gay life revolves around impersonal sex, youthful beauty is the principal determinant of social status……whereas social status of straight men is largely determined by achievement and power and therefore skews much older.

    This is great when you are young and in your physical prime, but it is horrible when you pass that prime…..and there needs to be some kind of change in attitude that makes aging less traumatic for us all…..What will accomplish that, I don’t know, but the endless references to “bitter old queens” in the comments on this site and elsewhere in gay life demonstrates what I am talking about.

    OK, enough.

  45. Lucas H says

    I feel badly for the kid, that really sucks.
    But I think we should lay off the judgment of his choice in boyfriend a little… it may not be our taste, but to each their own.

  46. jamal49 says

    I am quite sad to see ageism alive and well on Towleroad. That’s it for me. Bigotry is bigotry and all you snarky, petty, mean-spirited twinks can go f*ck yourselves.

  47. Seattle Mike says

    The rule is you can only date people who are at least half your age plus 8. That means that grampa here can date someone who’s 41 or older. Seriously. Anything beyond that gets into some really messed up issues.

    This 18 year old with his 18 year old still-unformed brain making bad decisions is NOT the poster child for anti-gay discrimination.

  48. Scott says

    Look, I’m 22, and I think older guys are hot, too. However, 65 to 18 is a significant age difference, and while I wish them happiness if they’re treating each other right, there are societal rules to follow. I actually do think if it were an 18 yr old cheerleader and her 65 yr old lover, she’d face consequences as well for making out in front of everyone at a game.

    However, he shouldn’t have been kicked of the team…. Somethig tells me that he’s not too worried tho.

    Just a mess to be honest.

  49. bobbyjoe says

    Oh, bullsh*t. If that’d been a woman the kid had been kissing, he’d still be on the team even if she was 95 years old.

    Like many of our supposed “gay leaders,” Dan Savage starts well and then quickly helps sidetrack the conversation right into the hands of the homophobes. I’m starting to think that about 85% of our “leaders’ couldn’t stay focused with their eyes on the prize if you nailed them to a chair and Krazy-glued their eyes open.

    But, no, Mr. Libertine Sex Columnist– who on any given day would probably advise you and your boyfriend to smear yourselves with peanut butter and publicly dress like pig-tailed Dominatrix versions of Pipi Longstocking skipping around the University quad if it got both of you off– is now suddenly aghast and on pins-and-needles about a legal-aged guy with a (yawn) Granddaddy fetish. It simply must be that dirty old man taking advantage of this guy– and how dare they, gasp, kiss– rather than a young legal guy who says he likes old guys– and actually does. Despite the fact that there’s entire websites (which sometimes advertise on places like this and Savage’s Slog) devoted to that particular lifestyle– are we supposed to pretend Savage has never heard of things like Daddyhunt? Who even initiated the kiss? We don’t know, but Dan’s assuming.

    And who gives a sh*t? Jamie Kuntz was discriminated against, even if his boyfriend was Professor Farnsworth from Futurama or Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. Quit being a hypocrite, Dan, and focus.

  50. "The Gay" says

    I’m not convinced that he wouldn’t have been questioned if he’d been seen kissing a 65 year old woman.

    Or that he wouldn’t have been kicked off the team if he had admitted that he had lied about it, if he had behaved the same way.

    So I’m not entirely convinced that this is an actual example of homophobia.

    It is, however, and excellent example of how NOT to behave as a person that was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, lied about it, and then had to deal with the consequences.

    He was supposed to be there doing a job, I see how this is glossed over by everybody because of the drama and the titillation factor.

    While you are entitled to your ageist, reactionary, media whoreish, and presumed victim based opinions, you are not entitled to change the facts.

    This young man needs to grow up and take some responsibility, and to get his s*it together.

    What he doesn’t need is a bunch of screaming queens and media whores to take his bad judgement and poor decisions and make him into some sort of martyr for a cause, because he isn’t. He’s just a stupid young man that needs to grow up.

  51. Bill says

    About the comment, “First of all, there is no evidence he was kicked off the team because he is gay; he seems to have been kicked off the team because he behaved irresponsibly, bringing someone into the press box who should not have been there and then making out with them instead of doing the job he was supposed to be doing.”: he was kicked off only after admitting that the guy he was with was his boyfriend, not a relative.

    The convenient excuse was “lying”. Now, there’s a legitimate reason to demand honesty in various matters: what happened during a game, for example or if training rules were being followed. In this case, he admitted to giving someone a kiss. The only thing he lied about was whether the recipient of said kiss was related to him or not. He did not lie about someone being in the press box with him nor about what happened in the press box. What he lied about was completely irrelevant to any concern the coach might reasonably have had. The level of any “distraction” is the same if the kiss recipient was his grandfather or his boyfriend.

    I think it is almost certain that the real reason for kicking this kid off the team is homophobia. The “lying” is simply a convenient excuse – would they kick a kid off the team, for example, for lying about how good he is in bed, perhaps exaggerating about the number of times he did it in a single night as he tried to impress his teammates? Of course not – that sort of lie is completely irrelevant. It’s the same in this case. It’s like kicking the captain of the H.M.S. Pinafore out of the British Navy for lying about his immunity to seasickness: “And I’m never, never sick at sea!” “What never?” “No never!” “What never?” “Hardly ever!” “He’s hardly ever sick at sea!”

    Unless there is far more to the story than has appeared in the press, I’d say the college deserves to have its ass sued for discrimination. That he technically violated a rule is not relevant if others were not treated the same way – the laws against discrimination are there to protect us against unequal treatment.

  52. Bill says

    With regard to Ted’s comment, “Excuses are not needed when you have rights,” a better phrasing is that “excuses are not needed when there are no rights.” With no rights, the college administration can do whatever it likes. With rights, it needs some excuse to paper over any discrimination.

  53. Bill says

    About, “He was supposed to be there doing a job, I see how this is glossed over by everybody because of the drama and the titillation factor.”

    There was no claim that he wasn’t doing his “job”. He was supposed to be filming, and what the coach would want filmed is the intervals in which they are playing. He doesn’t care about time spent in a huddle, etc. There’s plenty of time for a quick kiss when people are just standing around and getting ready.

    If he screwed up the filming, the complaint would presumably have mentioned that. It didn’t.

  54. "The Gay" says

    I’m not buying it. He arrived ON the bus WITH the team, he was there AS a member OF the team, he exercised poor judgement that drew attention to him from his team mates; attention he would have received regardless of weather it was a male OR female in the press box with him.

    He got called out for it, lied, and then had a little melt down, finally told the truth, and now has to live with the consequences of his own poor judgement and actions.

    The assumption that he had the “right” to have ANYONE in the press box with him AT ALL doesn’t pass the smell test, and neither does how Savage is using this guy, and this issue, as an example of homophobia.

    He doesn’t have to have messed up the filming, it’s not unreasonable for the coach to ask him, hey, who the hell was that you had in the press booth with you that you were kissing on when you’re supposed to be here as part of the team filming.

    You can have your opinions, but the facts don’t make this automatically homophobic.

    The coaches letter and statements are decidedly less homophobic than the remarks in these comments about the age difference.

    Dan Savage is wrong on this one, and is using this guy for his own self aggrandizement. The rest of you, well, you’re just being sad little victims that think you don’t have to follow the same rules as everybody else.

    Sorry, you don’t get to make separate rules just for the gay players on a team.

    I know it’s an unpopular thing to say around divas and media whores, but we don’t need to be special, we just need to be treated the same. This guy was, in fact, treated the same. I don’t see the homophobia, where are the homophobic remarks ? Where’s the denial of equal treatment ? There aren’t any.

    How about we deal with the real homophobia in our own community for a change, the real lack of diversity, the real hypocrisy. We aren’t special, we’re equal.

    If you want to be special, go do a drag show somewhere.

  55. says

    What if Jamie Kuntz had been caught kissing not a man but a woman would he have still being dismissed? To be even more blunt what if Kuntz’s boyfriend wasn’t a 65 year old man but a 19 year old boy would that have been more acceptable (despite a bias against gay relations), at least in the school’s mind the relationship between Kuntz and his boyfriend would have been more palatable. But then again why should it ever be the school’s job to judge whether one of their student’s relationship (apart from a teacher at the school) be palatable in the first place?

  56. Jackson says

    It’s clearly homophobic for the coach to kick him off the team. That is absolutely the primary issue.

    That said: 18 may be the age of consent, but it’s really disgusting when elderly dudes take advantage of kids like that. It doesn’t matter if the kid initiated contact or not. The old guy was absolutely capable of saying no like a normal person. The human brain doesn’t actually reach full maturity as far as decision-making until your mid-20’s. 18 is just an arbitrary date assigned for legal purposes. Less than a full single year earlier and the guy’s a pedophile.

  57. Dylancat says

    I am amazed at some of the comments on here – skip the fact that someone was ditched from a team, and get all “ewww” over the fact that someone happens to have an older boyfriend. Clearly they finished high school too soon and are better suited hanging round the lockers and bitchin’ about the girls with glasses. Grow. Up.

  58. Ronald says

    I’ve just seen Rupert Everett and Joan Collins trying on bikinis in Forever 21 on Broadway. Rupert likes tassels but Joanie really should know better. One of them clearly took a dump in the changing room to squeeze into the Small.

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