1. bambinoitaliano says

    I read about their story on youtube awhile ago. There’s no way I can sit through such a heart wrenching real life tragic. If you are not a whimp like me, please go see it.

  2. nn says

    think the story is sad, and it’s clear that marriage equality is needed on a federal level – sooner as better. But in this, the story itself, I do not understand why after 6 years together they did absolute nothing to try protect each other and their relationship – Legally as much as possible. People living in California has some they can do to protect each other, through the opportunities people in CA have & had. Especially considering that one of the Family was very anti-gay & did not accept that they had a gay son. I wish they had talked more about it (maybe they did it in the Movie. But I do not say it is right, the storie is heartbreking, but they where not smart to not use the protection that already exists. Maybe it had not made ​​any difference in how he was treated after his his bf death – but on the other hand, maybe it had made ​​a difference? Am I the only one who thought this…..

  3. Thomas says

    @nn–It’s not necessarily about being smart or not. When you’re young and healthy you figure you’re invincible, and a lot of the changes they would have had to make are tricky to undo. Maybe one or both of them wasn’t quite ready. Six years can pass very quickly. It took my boyfriend and I four to start making legal changes to wills and setting up powers of attorney and other documents. That step feels big–in some ways, it drives the point home of just how much you’re investing in that other person, in a way much more than going down, getting a license, and having the rights automatically ever does.

    On a side note, I like that Clinton seems to be embracing his evolution, but I wish just once he’d acknowledge that his action and inaction over the last 15 years was a huge part of creating the landscape in which this story unfolded.

  4. robroy says

    Nn- there are huge numbers of straight married couples who don’t tackle wills or medical directives. Its something a lot of people fail todo. I Think the important point is that marriage would have simplified half those problems.

  5. cdubois says

    I’m curious what his late boyfriend’s parents feel about all this. I can’t find any statements from the Bridegrooms trying to justify or apologize for their abhorant behavior after the death of their son. At this point it has to have been brought to their attention…

  6. PAUL B. says

    I’ve been with my husband for 28 years and we still have only partially dealt with the legal issues. It’s complicated and requires constant tweaking to keep documents up to date…and each tweak is a billable hour. More importantly it pisses me off each & every time we do it because straight married couples don’t have to. So, my blood pressure rises and I get my stiletto’s out and have sick fantasies of putting one through Scalia’s big head. Then I can’t sleep.

  7. JoshLondon says

    “Bill Clinton made life more difficult for all gay couples by signing DOMA into law. He is to us what Hitler was to the Jews.”

    Your ignorance is stunning.

  8. Patrick and Chuck says

    We know the story and I don’t know if we could sit through it without becoming blubbering messes. It was hard enough to watch the YouTube video, but I do want to see it.

    On another note, we have bee together over 22 years and we still have not dealt with much of those issues. Fortunately there are no evil relatives waiting in the wings.

    I am also wondering about the parents reaction to the movie.

  9. txrex says

    It is sad and I realize they were young but from what I know, Tom and Shane had a very successful online marketing business plus Tom had other business ventures and owned property. Tom was pretty business savvy so I’m not sure why they didn’t have a domestic partnership at least to cover some basic things?

  10. Mike Ryan says

    Wasn’t the guy’s death somewhat of a mystery? If I recall he either fell off the roof or off the balcony. The roof would be more understandable (but why was he up there) while the balcony seems just plain odd.

  11. PAUL B. says

    @Patrick & Chuck…evil lurks behind every state line. Parents & siblings swoop in to grab what they can. I saw it happen many times during the early days of aids when friends were dying. Suddenly, family flew in…with nothing but the clothes on their backs…and their sloppy drawl. But, they left with plenty. My parents would be on the first plane out to get my body & my “things”…I would bet my life on that. Be smart and protect yourselves…please.

  12. Eric says

    @Mike Ryan it was a roof while taking pictures of a friend.

    So I saw the doc at Tribeca and sat through a Q&A with Shane. For the record, the Bridegrooms were contacted about appearing but they didn’t respond. Also, they have declined all press.

    although I strongly suspect that his sisters are in contact with Shane.

  13. says

    @ Patrick and Chuck , I totally identify with your comment.
    The original vid left me reeling for days. The emotional power was just too much for me.

    And your comment that many of us have still not gotten around to tidying up all the formalities is so true.
    These boys were still in the excitement of growing……..but they had more than most, they had love for each other.

    @Paul B : wise words, my friend. I too have seen this happen many times, as soon as one partner dies, the worm relatives gather to pick the bones……..
    This must become our new cause, or at least high up on our “to do” list. And that would be a fitting tribute to these two beautiful boys and their loving relationship.

  14. nn says

    @Thomas @robroy
    About families to come in and make trouble when it comes to inheritance etc, it’s often also happend with couples who are straight. There is nothing that can ruin families who otherwise seem to be friends and work fine in daily life. But when it comes to inheritance etc, then come easely conflict, greed and claw forward. Often it shows the worst side of people, you never in your wildest imagination thought beforehand. So I think it is extremely important, and we also arranged the things that testament etc when I was very Young, we did all that. Because you never know…..

    Of course regulations/legislation will also be different in different countries.

  15. Lars says

    The story is sad of course. But the sadness was compounded because these guys did not avail themselves of the legal protections available to them.

    We fought hard to get a sweeping domestic partnership law in California, and we won. No, it’s not the same as marriage. But the reason we fought for it, was for situations exactly like this.

    There’s a lesson here: take your relationship seriously, and plan for your future together.

  16. ratbastard says

    Bill Clinton is an opportunist, period. A scam artist. I thought briefly that his presidency was a golden age from an economic and social standpoint for the U.S., but it was all built on a house of cards. People laughed at Ross Perot when he talked about that s*cking sound being all the jobs disappearing back in the early-mid 90s, but he has proven to be the guy who got it right. I now realize Clinton did a lot of damage, as of course did his Republican counterparts.

    And since when is he stalwart gay ally? News to me. But the usual suspect ideologues, true believers and shills on here will defend ANY Democrat and alleged ‘progressive’. They’d defend Pol Pot if he had said a few nice words about gay marriage.

  17. Gigi says

    I’ve been with my partner for 25 years. We met when we were VERY YOUNG [19 & 20]. We both smoked at the time and I remember saying, when I was 21, “I’ll smoke if I want to. I don’t want to live past 30 anyway. Can you imagine being THAT OLD?!?!” Hahaha. Now we’re both on the other side of 40 and 60 is looking good! What I’m trying to say is that it’s not surprising these guys didn’t have wills or such things. They were so young when they met. When you’re young, wills are for OLD PEOPLE. I know people much older than me who don’t have wills. It’s easy after-the-fact for people to judge. Don’t. Just learn from their mistakes and pray we all find happiness and love.

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