John Mayer: ‘Before I Make Coffee, I’ve Seen More Butt Holes Than a Proctologist Does in a Week’

John Mayer meditates on masturbation in the new issue of Rolling Stone:

“I am the new generation of masturbator. I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week… I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. [The reason is] because I want to take a brain bath. It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.”

One more shot of Mayer, AFTER THE JUMP…

(OK via Gawker)