• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy

Towleroad Gay News

Gay Blog Towleroad: More than gay news | gay men

  • Travel
  • Sports
  • Law/Justice
  • Celebrities
  • Republicans
  • Madonna
  • Books
  • Men
  • Trans Rights
  • Royals
  • Monkeypox
  • Sophia Bush’s girlfriend ‘proud’ the actress has opened up about coming out as queer
  • Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!
  • Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

2016 Resolutions All Gay Men Should Consider

Leo Herrera January 7, 2016 Leave a Comment

Leo quad image gay men

“I am a gay man above all else.” -Larry Kramer.

In that spirit, I'm Leo Herrera, a gay artist and activist. Here are my resolutions for gay family in 2016 and beyond.

Make Gay Art

We need gay artists to write, paint, dance, sing OUR stories. Our legacy of subversive and sexual art changed our world, educated generations and even made money. AIDS took so many of these artists but our new Mapplethorpes are out there, they just need encouragement and examples. Stop talking about that painting or book you want to make and just do it, even if it won't sell or be published. Make it with honesty for a gay audience and you'll always have support, no matter how inconsequential you fear it might be.

Get Off Your Damn Phone

Keep it off the dinner table, the bar and dance floor. Remember Grindr and Scruff are merely tools and not the only form of communication. “I erased Scruff off my phone” is something that's said in the same way as when cokeheads talk about deleting their dealer's numbers. It's because these apps can be addictive, empty calories of a sexual & social diet. Cruising can be healthy if done right. Learn how to make eye contact with a gay stranger “IRL” because otherwise you're missing a crucial part of the gay experience.

Support Men's Spaces

We're losing square footage every year. Our stores, bars and sex clubs shut down because we forget they serve a purpose and were created at immense sacrifice. How about once this year you grab a group of sister-bros and get hammered at that “shitty gay bar” you're always rolling your eyes at. Just enjoy the Top 40 hits and make friends with a tourist. When someone throws a party at a sex club or an illegal warehouse, don't ask to be on the list, just pay the damn cover and keep these spaces alive. Bring a flask though, they do always gouge us on the drinks.

Accept Condoms are Not Noble

Entering another year of dialogue on PrEP, HIV and sex, can we ditch the morality bullshit? Can we accept that wanting worry-free sex is not a selfish whim but a right? Disease should have no dominion over our love. Get the words “cum dump” out of this conversation, it's unbecoming. Yes, rising STD rates are a concern, but viewing gay sex strictly through the prism of disease robs us of intimacy, spontaneity and breeds shame and self-loathing. The only way to cure the damage AIDS left us is if we remember we're on the same side. If all of this stresses you out, the best thing you can do is take a deep breath, get tested and treated for STDs while our community finds its balance.

Examine Sci-Fi Masculinity

Can we talk honestly about steroids, HGH and testosterone use? Can we stop pretending that some of these before-and-after gym Instagrams and the bodies in porn are the result of only hard work? The body fascism we've always been prone to has reached literally unnatural proportions. How can we preserve the right to body modification and improvement while still question the health repercussions? How do we examine what this does to a community's self-esteem? And when the hell did being a “bear” go from being a chubby hairy dude to a guy on one roid cycle and month of not shaving?

Calm Down on Gay Marriage Already

“Gay Marriage” is for straight people. Commitments between homos have existed for a very long time. We just needed the straight community to recognize them, to give us the law and money we deserved, but that's it. The road to that legal victory should be celebrated but we didn't get anything new. However, as an army of concerned mothers prepare to ask us why we haven't settled down yet, now's a good time to examine what “marriage” means to us and our couplings, past cutesy viral marriage proposal videos. Can we take a moment to consider what it really means for two horny, territorial men to make a commitment that exists by its own rules and needs?

“Hold” Space, Don't Make it “Safe”

In the words of Penny Arcade, “You can't call yourself fierce and ask for Safe Space in the same sentence.” Gay spaces have always been about a dangerous love. How about we focus on being present with one another (again, put down that phone) instead of spending so much energy creating social bubbles where nobody is offended and everyone absolutely has to be included. This hyper-sensitivity has reached comic proportions and leads to blandness and homogeneity. We are NOT all the same and that's ok. Depression, isolation, substance abuse, sexual compulsion, anxiety. These are the actual dangers of our community, not wondering if we “triggered” someone with a single word.

Recognize Gay Minstrel

When a video of an effeminate kid in a newscast, or a gay man reviewing a pie gets the attention of millions, are we fully aware that while our gay family is laughing with them, a huge number of people are laughing at them? Are we being honest that old flaming stereotypes and drag queens STILL dominate the main representations of Gay men? There is nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of RuPaul's labor, but where are images of intelligent, creative, sexual gay men? A generation of gay kids is being educated by pop and mainstream culture machines that are mainly interested in money and clicks. What are we as a community doing to create new iconography, new versions of ourselves?

Finally, in the words of the MTA Subway Posters…

“Be someone who makes it a better ride for everyone.”

Stop just talking about doing dinner and do it. Initiate moments to see each other outside of the club. Release the idea that it's inevitable that a gay couple will end up watching TV and not see their friends. Travel together. Drag your depressed sisters out of the bathtub. Ask folks how they're doing without needing to answer the same question. Keep building a web of community and you'll be in awe of what it can provide for you: shelter, food, love…all of the things needed to be not just a healthy gay man, but a healthy human.

These are the resolutions from a single member of this incredible community, what are yours?

1.1.2016

Leo HerreraGay men resolutions 2016 Leo Herrera is a Mexican artist/activist and will be contributing to Towleroad in 2016. His work focuses on gay male history, sexuality and nightlife. Current projects include the film documentation of Blood Mirror protesting the FDA's current ban on gay blood, as well as the recreation of 3 Eras of Gay Sex and 50 Years of Gay Male Culture. For more work, visit LeoHerrera.com and follow on Instagram.

 

All opinions expressed are those of the author. Photos by Leo Herrera and Josh Smith (NYE Image)

Topics: History, Travel More Posts About: 2016, Gay Artists, Gay Bar, gay community, gay culture, gay men, gay sex, leo herrera

Related Posts
  • Surviving HIV and Meth; Becoming A Top; and The Night He Had Sex with Rock Hudson. A “Caftan” Chat with “My Fabulous Disease” Writer Mark S. King
  • Biden Administration Outlines Monkeypox Strategy, Including Increased Testing, Vaccination And Community Education
  • Mackenzie Phillips Just Came Out as Queer; And With Her Disclosed life, 10+ Yrs A Sober Survivor, Healed Sibling Rifts, It Is As Simple As “I Love Our Gay Community”
  • Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!

    Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Mel B will “always be open” when it comes to her sexuality. The Spice Girls singer, 48, who reunited with her bandmates including the group's ex-singer Victoria Beckham for the fashion …Read More »
  • Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

    Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Megan Thee Stallion is being sued for allegedly creating a hostile work environment and forcing her cameraman to watch her having lesbian sex. The 29-year-old ‘Savage' rapper faces the salacious claims …Read More »
  • Mean Girls star Jonathan Bennett recalls the moment his life ‘changed forever’

    Mean Girls star Jonathan Bennett recalls the moment his life ‘changed forever’

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Jonathan Bennett's life was “changed forever” by his role in ‘Mean Girls'. The 42-year-old actor starred as heartthrob Aaron Samuels in the 2004 cult classic – which followed Lindsay Lohan, Rachel …Read More »
  • Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass gift basket to celebrate coming out

    Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass gift basket to celebrate coming out

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass a gift basket after he came out as gay. The 44-year-old NSYNC star revealed the legendary singer showed his support when Lance decided to reveal …Read More »
Previous Post: « Gus Kenworthy and Boyfriend Matthew Wilkas Recreate a Scene From ‘Making a Murderer’ – WATCH
Next Post: ‘American Horror Story: Hotel’ Checks In A Bewitching Guest – RECAP »

Primary Sidebar

Most Recent

  • Sophia Bush’s girlfriend ‘proud’ the actress has opened up about coming out as queer

    Sophia Bush’s girlfriend ‘proud’ the actress has opened up about coming out as queer

  • Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!

    Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!

  • Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

    Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

  • Mean Girls star Jonathan Bennett recalls the moment his life ‘changed forever’

    Mean Girls star Jonathan Bennett recalls the moment his life ‘changed forever’

  • Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass gift basket to celebrate coming out

    Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass gift basket to celebrate coming out

  • Relationship status influences heterosexual women’s sexual prejudice towards lesbians

    Relationship status influences heterosexual women’s sexual prejudice towards lesbians

  • JoJo Siwa had a challenge transitioning to new grown-up image

    JoJo Siwa had a challenge transitioning to new grown-up image

  • Liz Hurley defends lesbian sex scene in new movie that was directed by her son

    Liz Hurley defends lesbian sex scene in new movie that was directed by her son

Partner Links

  • Today is Harvey Milk Day
    The post Today is Harvey Milk Day first appeared on Greg […]
  • Happy 80th Birthday to John Newcombe
     Sending my best to the 7-time Grand Slam singles champion -- […]
  • OMG, Ang Lee says he almost quit filmmaking before making Brokeback Mountain
    “My father, for the first time in his life said, ‘Go […]
  • OMG, WATCH: Natasha Lyonne shops her picks in The Criterion Closet
    The actor, producer, writer, and director shares why she thinks NAKED […]
  • On the Rag, Vol. 858
     This week's rag 'n' roundup features Jon Hamm, Luke Evans, Jonathan […]

Most Commented

Social

Twitter @tlrd | Facebook | Instagram @tlrd

About

  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy
[towleroadmr] [towleroadtn]

Footer

Ptown Hacks 2018

Read

  • Travel
  • Film
  • Law – LGBT Rights
  • Columns
  • Specials

About

  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 · Log in

×
×