John Oliver offered a brutal takedown of Facebook on Last Week Tonight just a few days after the social network lost $120 billion in market cap due to declining revenue partly as a result of eroding trust about user privacy.
After first mocking Mark Zuckerberg for using the Puerto Rico hurricane disaster to promote the company’s virtual reality tool (complete with smiling avatars), Oliver presented a re-do of the commercial Facebook produced as its response to reports that it allowed many companies to improperly mine personal Facebook user data.
Here’s the text of Oliver’s ad (above):
You came here for the friends. You got to know the friends of your friends. We came here for your data. And the data of everyone you’ve ever come into contact with. From old friends from middle school to your grandma. To your grandma’s friends from middle school.
And your data enabled us to make a f**k-ton of ad money from corporations, app developers, and political campaigns. Then we discovered your uncle used to have ties to the Klan. And guess what? We realized we could make a f**k-ton of money off that sh*t too.
Seriously you guys, we were making so much money off of you, you don’t even understand. But then, you found out about it. And we had to testify and issue bullsh*t apology ads, all so we could lose $120 billion.
But here’s the thing: Nothing’s really gonna change. We’ve got your data. We’ve got your friends. And, really, where are you gonna go? Friendster?
F**k you. That’s why we’re gonna keep finding subtle ways to violate your privacy. So we can carry on doing what this place was built for: Functioning as a haven for racist trolls. A way for your to feel jealous of people you haven’t seen in years. And a place for your to fritter your life away while watching videos of cats eating corn, dogs riding horses, and kids… beating the sh*t out of each other. All while we make an ungodly amount of money.
Facebook: We own who you are.