SNL took on big figures in legal trouble on a much-too-short “Legal Shark Tank” sketch which featured Pete Davidson’s Michael Avenatti, Cecily Strong’s Jeanine Pirro, John Mulaney’s Alan Dershowitz, and Kate McKinnon’s Rudy Giuliani offering their services to embattled celebrities Jussie Smollett and Patriots owner Robert Kraft.
Kraft, busted this week for soliciting a prostitute at a day spa, was offered this advice.
Davidson’s Avenatti: “This is a serious charge Bob, and you’ve shown that you can ‘beat it’ on your own.”
Strong’s Pirro: “If you ask me the real criminal in this story is that immigrant woman who stole that job from a soft, white, American hand.”
McKinnon’s Giuliani: “Bob, listen. If you pick me, I would happily go on TV, contradict everything you’ve ever said, and then add some damaging information free of charge.”
Jussie Smollett (Chris Redd) followed in a second segment, claiming that he was attacked outside the studio “by Donald Trump himself.”
Asked Mulaney’s Dershowitz, “Jussie, is that true?”
“Are there cameras outside?” asked Redd’s Smollett. He is then told no, and adds: “Then no, it is not.”
Then the sharks get their turn, and Strong’s Pirro is excited.
“Oh, wow,” she says, “a gay black man lying about an attack. I wrote FOX News fan fiction about this but I never thought it would come true. I’m recusing myself because I’m just too turned on.”