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Chihuahua Stolen From Florida Gay Bar by Man with Britney Tattoo

Chihuahua

A chihuahua with pink earrings was stolen from Brian Dortort at Georgie's Alibi, a gay bar in Wilton Manors, on July 28, and just now news is reaching the wires:

Alibi "Dotort threw a birthday party for a friend at the bar that night, and was carrying the dog in a specialty pet bag, he said. One of the dog's admirers insisted he hold the dog and grabbed her, he said. Dotort didn't suspect the dog would be stolen, he said, so he briefly left the dog in the man's possession to pick up litter from a nearby table. In an instant, the thief disappeared with Hudson, Dotort said. The dog, about the size of a softball, is described as light-cream colored with a pink belly and pink ears. She has a pink earring in each ear. Wilton Manors police investigated the theft and identified a suspect whose whereabouts are unknown, police spokesman David Jones said. It's up to the Broward State Attorney's Office to decide whether there's enough evidence for an arrest warrant to be issued, police said. Dortort described the thief as a thin man about 5 feet 10 inches tall. He weighs about 160 pounds, has short brown hair and tattoos, including one on his arm or neck that says 'Britney Spears.'"

Image above for illustration purposes only, and not an actual photo of the suspect or the chihuahua, which, if you happen to see, you should call by the name of Hudson Hayward Hemingway. Despite the fact this sounds like a plotline from Legally Blonde, we sincerely hope the dog finds its way back to Mr. Dortort. It's awful to lose a pet.

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Comments

  1. Let's see...this person brought his dog to probably the most crowded bar in Fort Lauderdale, and HAD ITS EARS PIERCED?!?!?

    I'm willing to bet the poor dog is much happier with the kidnapper.

    Posted by: another matt | Aug 21, 2009 8:50:33 AM


  2. Please, I'm begging you,.. tell me that nobody really has a Britney Spears tattoo.

    Sucks about the dog. Hope you get him back..

    Posted by: Aquaman | Aug 21, 2009 8:56:44 AM


  3. that tattoo is the epitome of impending regret.

    Posted by: ian | Aug 21, 2009 9:16:18 AM


  4. Earrings on a dog. Earrings on a dog. Earrings on a dog. Earrings on a dog.

    The thief had a Britney Spears tattoo. The thief had a Britney Spears tattoo.

    It really is just Florida, isn't it? Tell me it's just Florida. Please. It's too tragic, otherwise.

    Posted by: Donovan | Aug 21, 2009 10:01:50 AM


  5. DO NOT PERSONIFY PETS! Your dog is not a little person that you can play dress-up with. You DO NOT put earrings on a dog. End of story. The dog is better off with the thief.

    *and don't get me started on the stupid tattoo

    Posted by: David in Houston | Aug 21, 2009 10:16:18 AM


  6. I have a baby angel chihuahua baby who is EXTREMELY cute. People want to hold him all the time. This is my greatest fear. I really hope the guy gets his little piggleton back. :(

    Posted by: Ugh | Aug 21, 2009 10:30:11 AM


  7. "DO NOT PERSONIFY PETS! "

    You're right, DAVID. Let the little bitch stay a little bitch.

    I have never known a nice chihuahua in my life. They're nasty little creatures who love to bite (sometimes little guys are the worst bullies, you know). They remind me of vicious, physically un-attractive "queens"--just plain jealous, I guess.

    Chihuahuas do not help the status of the Latino American community at all.

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Aug 21, 2009 11:04:03 AM


  8. I was wondering when Chris Crocker was going to show up again.

    Posted by: Rad | Aug 21, 2009 11:07:20 AM


  9. Well. there you go... proof positive that the Right Wing Nuts don't hold the market on stupid.

    1) Here is my tattoo.
    2) Let me steal your [abused] dog that..
    3) You brought into a gay bar in a purse.

    Posted by: Rad | Aug 21, 2009 11:12:37 AM


  10. LOLOLOL Donovan !!! Thanks for making my day.

    Posted by: RunLolaRun | Aug 21, 2009 12:18:19 PM


  11. Derrick,

    What do chihuahuas have to do with the Latino American community? I can't recall a single chihuahua I have ever encountered belonging to a Latino. Living in Dallas, it's not like I don't know any Latinos. I know one who owns a beagle, but no chihuahuas. Really nice beagle, though.

    Posted by: Jonathan | Aug 21, 2009 12:24:59 PM


  12. I'm sorry, JONATHAN, I thought they came from Mexico...legally, of course.

    "I can't recall a single chihuahua I have ever encountered belonging to a Latino."

    Damn right. They know better.

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Aug 21, 2009 12:47:48 PM


  13. @Donovan: it's not just Florida. It's super-sized gay Florida. Pink earrings on a chihuahua and a Britney tattoo in the same story is almost too much to bear.

    @Jonathan, I would assume that Derrick is referring to the fact that the word chihuahua is derived from a state in Mexico. Either that, or those Taco Bell ads.

    Posted by: Paul R | Aug 21, 2009 1:01:03 PM


  14. yo quiero this post.

    Posted by: David B. 2 | Aug 21, 2009 1:38:35 PM


  15. @derrick

    I have three Chihuahua's, and they are all about as friendly and lovable a dog you can find. If you've met some mean Chi's in the past its the owners fault, not the poor dogs.

    And thus concludes the gayest comment to the gayest story about the gayest crime ever committed.

    Posted by: Scott | Aug 21, 2009 2:13:05 PM


  16. Is this on the site because someone likes that picture of the arm?

    Posted by: Fenrox | Aug 21, 2009 2:28:23 PM


  17. @Donovan, it is just Florida. The rest of us have moved on to Lady GaGa and our dogs have highlights.

    That is so yesterday.

    Posted by: David | Aug 21, 2009 2:59:28 PM


  18. All right, SCOTT. No, I don't want to be a bigot against the little fellas. I imagine there some very decent Chihuahuas in this world--some that come from decent families.

    Maybe I'm just an ol' size queen, SCOTT-- you see, I prefer German Shepards....big, muscular and butch (even the females).

    I apologize to all of Latino-America...and some Chihuahuas.

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Aug 21, 2009 3:44:43 PM


  19. I was just at the Alibi last week, while on vacation. There is an outdoor area where you can bring your dogs. My old roomie brought his. And no, his ear's aren't pierced.

    Only in Wilton Manors. It is like a gay Peyton Place on acid. Seriously.

    Posted by: A different Andy | Aug 21, 2009 3:47:48 PM


  20. Holy Dahmer! Gay-on-gay crime must come to an end!

    Posted by: Jon | Aug 21, 2009 5:47:21 PM


  21. Where PETA...cruelty to animals!! dogs do not need to have piercings. it was pierced against its will. stupid!

    Posted by: Paul | Aug 21, 2009 6:36:11 PM


  22. i NEED that police report for a piece of art! a softball-sized Chihuahua wearing pink earrings? PLEASE i need that report. i bet the FIA will help me. and i hope the dog is safe. somehow i feel he is. HHH: live strong! but imagine the ironies available with that digital, or (please) typed, report?

    Posted by: casey | Aug 21, 2009 6:55:52 PM


  23. Yeah I sure hope those are just clipped on or something. Piercing animals really bothers me. As for people, go nuts!! What a ridiculously delightful/horrible/odd story.

    Posted by: Andrew | Aug 21, 2009 7:34:11 PM


  24. Weeeeelll, I have pierced ears. (I got mine waaay back in the day when it was cool to have them go all the way up) None of my piercings hurt and when you get bored with them you can just let them grow closed. Tatooes on the other hand...bit more painful and much harder to get rid of.

    @ A DIFFERENT ANDY,

    Wilton Manors makes me sad I'm boycotting Florida for being so rabidly homophobic.

    Posted by: Wheezy | Aug 22, 2009 2:06:49 PM


  25. Everything about this story is so Florida... and so wrong.

    Posted by: rob adams | Aug 22, 2009 8:34:22 PM


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