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Mormon Student Tells His Friends and Family He's Gay and Films Their Reactions: VIDEO

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Jimmy Hales is a gay BYU student and Mormon missionary. For an entire year he has been coming out to friends and family and capturing it on film.

Watch it, AFTER THE JUMP...

HalesHales wrote a detailed blog post in which he describes his experience coming out as a Mormon along with the making of the film.:

So today has arrived.  G-day.  I have officially come out.  Wow.  A year ago I didn't even think of myself as being gay; denial owned my face.  But I was getting older, 3 of my 5 roommates here at BYU were engaged and the majority of my closest friends were already married.  The only people at parties were freshmen and sophomores, and the things they did at the parties were boring.  Personally I feel like an OK dancer, but "Just Dance" kept giving me the lowest score at the party.  Why did people go to these lame things?  Oh, to get a date.

Then suddenly I had a thought: 'I feel like I should make movies again like I did in high school.  Sounds good to me.'

Hales began shooting his coming outs to friends and family in January 2012 and says he just finished this month.

SisterHales adds:

When it came time to edit the footage, I ended up cutting well over half of the script.  In fact, I cut the parts that I initially thought were most important.  Similarly, while searching online for some royalty free music, I felt I should just write the music and record it myself, so I did.  That's why the music is lame...

...At this point, me being gay it not such a big deal to me or those close around me.  I believe, with time, it won't as big a deal to all members of the church either.  They just need opportunity to think about it, so here I am posting about it.  Every Mormon I've come out to has been awesome.  Soon enough, gay people will be able to come out and not be as afraid to do so.    However, there will always be a certain stigma attached to it to some degree, for living a lonely celibate mortal life is a taste of hell, and the possibility that a person might "fall away" is always possible.  If you know someone who has fallen away, please try to understand that they've been through hell, and that they've probably gone through hell all by themselves with little or no help.  Please love them.

Watch the video, AFTER THE JUMP...

And read the full blog post here.

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Comments

  1. This video is really sad. Sad with a smile. WTF?

    Posted by: Jon B | Feb 20, 2013 10:50:15 AM


  2. He's a really cool kid, but I hope he doesn't deceive himself about the Mormon Church. At the first sign of him kissing another man, they will try to rein him in. I also hope he doesn't think he has to remain celebate. He owes so much more to himself than he does to the Church.

    Posted by: Jack M | Feb 20, 2013 10:56:03 AM


  3. Frankly no. This video has not helped me understand anything about those who are gay and Mormon.

    Posted by: Brian | Feb 20, 2013 10:56:26 AM


  4. I am a bit shocked that they all seem shocked. Mom had a good reaction. I am hoping over time, he sees that is does not mean that he has to stay single.

    Posted by: Kevin | Feb 20, 2013 10:58:17 AM


  5. If he needs help with the celibacy thing, I'm available. He's cute.
    Please, cute little Mormon boy, don't listen to your orthodoxy, listen to your penis: have sex. It's what normal adults do.

    Posted by: plinx | Feb 20, 2013 11:12:01 AM


  6. Hey, if he wants to live a miserable life, that's on him. I'll continue to date men, have a love life, and be happy.

    Posted by: JJ | Feb 20, 2013 11:12:29 AM


  7. If you read the comment in response to the guy who asks him if he wants to get married, it will make this entire project into something so, so painfully sad.

    Posted by: Dan E | Feb 20, 2013 11:16:26 AM


  8. This has not made me understand more. He's a Gay Mormon and feels that the Mormons are progressing?? Such that he can be gay and stay celibate and single? Not progressing if you have to suppress who you are for the people who supposedly love you

    Posted by: Riw | Feb 20, 2013 11:16:34 AM


  9. I think he's not the only gay in that video, and my condolences to his private parts he's not planning to use ever xD!

    Posted by: Mark | Feb 20, 2013 11:18:16 AM


  10. This video makes me want to rip my hair out.

    Posted by: Peter | Feb 20, 2013 11:25:40 AM


  11. Richard at 2:36 -- sign him up!

    Posted by: Chuckles | Feb 20, 2013 11:35:17 AM


  12. Uhm, cool but when the local elders find out = excommunication for him will be split quick with pressure on his family and friends to shun him or suffer the wrath of temple elders as well

    Posted by: Moz's | Feb 20, 2013 11:36:24 AM


  13. oh and yeah Mark

    agreed on he wasn't the only gay guy in the vid

    the "bro" guy was definitely setting of my gaydar

    Posted by: Moz's | Feb 20, 2013 11:37:17 AM


  14. Everyone take a breath. This video is him at the start of coming out and growing up. It's an insight into him, right now. Let him off the hook for living up to the aspiration of actually taking on the larger issues of his faith. Good on ya, Jimmy Hales... and good luck.

    Posted by: CAM | Feb 20, 2013 11:38:28 AM


  15. I pity him; if he wants to keep believing in a diety or whatever; he should convert to a religion that allows him to find a man; get married and enjoy life to the fullest. Ditch the fiction and enjoy some friction!

    Posted by: Rob | Feb 20, 2013 11:39:05 AM


  16. Moz, you are wrong. There is nothing against him being gay in Mormon teaching as long as he is celibate. In fact, the Church of LDS mandates that all gay Mormons remain celibate for life if they do not marry the opposite sex so this dude is consistent with Mormon doctrine.

    Posted by: Jake | Feb 20, 2013 11:44:37 AM


  17. actually Jake there is mormon doctrine that is against even "celibate mormons"

    The highest degree of Glory = The celestial Kingdom "third and highest heaven" he must be a temple mormon in good standing and to be a temple mormon in good standing will require male + female "spiritual" temple marriage at the very least

    Posted by: Moz's | Feb 20, 2013 11:49:18 AM


  18. oh and he must have children. No children is directly apostatizing Holy father and the entirety of what it means to be a good mormon and attain the highest degree of glory = celestial kingdom aka his own planet to rule over as a mormon Holy Father with his spiritual wives

    Posted by: Moz's | Feb 20, 2013 11:51:29 AM


  19. Religion truly screws people up, doesn't it?

    Posted by: Michael W. | Feb 20, 2013 11:56:06 AM


  20. The following material from the Church Handbook II (21.4.6) clearly indicates that same gender attractions are not considered sinful, but homosexual behavior is considered sinful.

    "Homosexual behavior violates the commandments of God, is contrary to the purposes of human sexuality, and deprives people of the blessings that can be found in family life and in the saving ordinances of the gospel. Those who persist in such behavior or who influence others to do so are subject to Church discipline. Homosexual behavior can be forgiven through sincere repentance.

    If members engage in homosexual behavior, Church leaders should help them have a clear understanding of faith in Jesus Christ, the process of repentance, and the purpose of life on earth.

    While opposing homosexual behavior, the Church reaches out with understanding and respect to individuals who are attracted to those of the same gender.

    If members feel same-gender attraction but do not engage in any homosexual behavior, leaders should support and encourage them in their resolve to live the law of chastity and to control unrighteous thoughts. These members may receive Church callings. If they are worthy and qualified in every other way, they may also hold temple recommends and receive temple ordinances."

    Elder Holland in the Ensign, in 2007. said something similar...

    "While same-gender attraction is real, there must be no physical expression of this attraction. The desire for physical gratification does not authorize immorality by anyone. Such feelings can be powerful, but they are never so strong as to deprive anyone of the freedom to choose worthy conduct.

    In saying this, let me make it clear that attractions alone, troublesome as they may be, do not make one unworthy. The First Presidency has stated, “There is a distinction between immoral thoughts and feelings and participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual behavior.”( Nov 1991) If you do not act on temptations, you have not transgressed."

    God Loveth His Children says the following on p. 7:

    "Same-gender inclinations may be very powerful, but through faith in the Atonement you can receive the power to resist all improper conduct, keeping your life free from sin."

    It also quotes President Hinckley on p. 12.

    "President Gordon B. Hinckley has promised that those with same-gender attraction who do not express these inclinations may “go forward as do all other members of the Church” (“What Are People Asking about Us?” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71)."

    Posted by: Jake | Feb 20, 2013 11:59:07 AM


  21. I hardly would call this progress. Oh, it's OK with you that I'm gay so long as I never act on it and live a lonely and sexless life? How very big of you!

    Look, all organized religions are silly to a degree and a form of brainwashing, but to fall for what a convicted con-man like Joseph Smith pulled out of his @ss in the middle of the 19th century is especially silly. Once you're old enough to start thinking for yourself religion IS a choice. If you must have it, why not one that DOESN'T treat you like a piece of sh*t? There ARE some religions like that out there, you know.

    Posted by: Caliban | Feb 20, 2013 12:00:14 PM


  22. i read his blog posts before viewing the videos, and have yet to view them because his entries are naive and a little optimistically delusional. he is a true blue mormon as they say, so celibacy is the only course he can currently see to chart. i made a few suggestions and referrals. he deserves more out of life than arid celibacy, especially the way the LDS church elevates family. i hope the church continues to sidle up to change, and in time for him.

    Posted by: bandanajack | Feb 20, 2013 12:06:41 PM


  23. Cam, you are right on here. Compassion and understanding is, I think, the right response here. Thanks for that. Yes, Michael W, religion can truly screw people up. So can mothers, fathers, siblings, lovers and careers, among other things.

    Posted by: Trey | Feb 20, 2013 12:08:28 PM


  24. jake

    can he being non temple married to a woman and having no children attain the highest degree of Glory?

    and if one is not trying to be a temple mormon in good standing striving towards the celestial kingdom then what is the point?

    Mormonism has no hell, it has 3 heavens

    hitler is in the lowest heaven, all non temple mormons and everyone else not hitler is in a heaven = the 2nd heaven, and only temple mormons in good standing and having gone through all the bells and whistle rituals are in the highest heaven per mormon doctrine all the way back to Joseph smith himself

    look dude, one of my ancestors was President Kimball himself so we can debate this foolishness if u want but the poor kid is wasting his time

    per mormon doctrine (just as much a fairytale as all all other religions) he can not and never will attain the highest degree of glory unless he goes through the temple and he can not be a celibate gay to do that

    he must marry a woman in the temple and have children

    otherwise he might as well just marry a man and be happy with the mormon 2nd heaven along with everyone else not hitler

    Posted by: Moz's | Feb 20, 2013 12:10:37 PM


  25. Is this presented without comment Andy, or are you saying that his "coming out" is a good thing? He told him family and friends that he is gay - his mom's reaction was...very odd - but he's celibate. Celibacy doesn't work. Just ask the catholic priests.

    Posted by: Gigi | Feb 20, 2013 12:22:48 PM


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