1. Jack M says

    He’s a really cool kid, but I hope he doesn’t deceive himself about the Mormon Church. At the first sign of him kissing another man, they will try to rein him in. I also hope he doesn’t think he has to remain celebate. He owes so much more to himself than he does to the Church.

  2. plinx says

    If he needs help with the celibacy thing, I’m available. He’s cute.
    Please, cute little Mormon boy, don’t listen to your orthodoxy, listen to your penis: have sex. It’s what normal adults do.

  3. Riw says

    This has not made me understand more. He’s a Gay Mormon and feels that the Mormons are progressing?? Such that he can be gay and stay celibate and single? Not progressing if you have to suppress who you are for the people who supposedly love you

  4. Moz's says

    Uhm, cool but when the local elders find out = excommunication for him will be split quick with pressure on his family and friends to shun him or suffer the wrath of temple elders as well

  5. CAM says

    Everyone take a breath. This video is him at the start of coming out and growing up. It’s an insight into him, right now. Let him off the hook for living up to the aspiration of actually taking on the larger issues of his faith. Good on ya, Jimmy Hales… and good luck.

  6. Rob says

    I pity him; if he wants to keep believing in a diety or whatever; he should convert to a religion that allows him to find a man; get married and enjoy life to the fullest. Ditch the fiction and enjoy some friction!

  7. Jake says

    Moz, you are wrong. There is nothing against him being gay in Mormon teaching as long as he is celibate. In fact, the Church of LDS mandates that all gay Mormons remain celibate for life if they do not marry the opposite sex so this dude is consistent with Mormon doctrine.

  8. Moz's says

    actually Jake there is mormon doctrine that is against even “celibate mormons”

    The highest degree of Glory = The celestial Kingdom “third and highest heaven” he must be a temple mormon in good standing and to be a temple mormon in good standing will require male + female “spiritual” temple marriage at the very least

  9. Moz's says

    oh and he must have children. No children is directly apostatizing Holy father and the entirety of what it means to be a good mormon and attain the highest degree of glory = celestial kingdom aka his own planet to rule over as a mormon Holy Father with his spiritual wives

  10. Jake says

    The following material from the Church Handbook II (21.4.6) clearly indicates that same gender attractions are not considered sinful, but homosexual behavior is considered sinful.

    “Homosexual behavior violates the commandments of God, is contrary to the purposes of human sexuality, and deprives people of the blessings that can be found in family life and in the saving ordinances of the gospel. Those who persist in such behavior or who influence others to do so are subject to Church discipline. Homosexual behavior can be forgiven through sincere repentance.

    If members engage in homosexual behavior, Church leaders should help them have a clear understanding of faith in Jesus Christ, the process of repentance, and the purpose of life on earth.

    While opposing homosexual behavior, the Church reaches out with understanding and respect to individuals who are attracted to those of the same gender.

    If members feel same-gender attraction but do not engage in any homosexual behavior, leaders should support and encourage them in their resolve to live the law of chastity and to control unrighteous thoughts. These members may receive Church callings. If they are worthy and qualified in every other way, they may also hold temple recommends and receive temple ordinances.”

    Elder Holland in the Ensign, in 2007. said something similar…

    “While same-gender attraction is real, there must be no physical expression of this attraction. The desire for physical gratification does not authorize immorality by anyone. Such feelings can be powerful, but they are never so strong as to deprive anyone of the freedom to choose worthy conduct.

    In saying this, let me make it clear that attractions alone, troublesome as they may be, do not make one unworthy. The First Presidency has stated, “There is a distinction between immoral thoughts and feelings and participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual behavior.”( Nov 1991) If you do not act on temptations, you have not transgressed.”

    God Loveth His Children says the following on p. 7:

    “Same-gender inclinations may be very powerful, but through faith in the Atonement you can receive the power to resist all improper conduct, keeping your life free from sin.”

    It also quotes President Hinckley on p. 12.

    “President Gordon B. Hinckley has promised that those with same-gender attraction who do not express these inclinations may “go forward as do all other members of the Church” (“What Are People Asking about Us?” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71).”

  11. Caliban says

    I hardly would call this progress. Oh, it’s OK with you that I’m gay so long as I never act on it and live a lonely and sexless life? How very big of you!

    Look, all organized religions are silly to a degree and a form of brainwashing, but to fall for what a convicted con-man like Joseph Smith pulled out of his @ss in the middle of the 19th century is especially silly. Once you’re old enough to start thinking for yourself religion IS a choice. If you must have it, why not one that DOESN’T treat you like a piece of sh*t? There ARE some religions like that out there, you know.

  12. bandanajack says

    i read his blog posts before viewing the videos, and have yet to view them because his entries are naive and a little optimistically delusional. he is a true blue mormon as they say, so celibacy is the only course he can currently see to chart. i made a few suggestions and referrals. he deserves more out of life than arid celibacy, especially the way the LDS church elevates family. i hope the church continues to sidle up to change, and in time for him.

  13. Trey says

    Cam, you are right on here. Compassion and understanding is, I think, the right response here. Thanks for that. Yes, Michael W, religion can truly screw people up. So can mothers, fathers, siblings, lovers and careers, among other things.

  14. Moz's says


    can he being non temple married to a woman and having no children attain the highest degree of Glory?

    and if one is not trying to be a temple mormon in good standing striving towards the celestial kingdom then what is the point?

    Mormonism has no hell, it has 3 heavens

    hitler is in the lowest heaven, all non temple mormons and everyone else not hitler is in a heaven = the 2nd heaven, and only temple mormons in good standing and having gone through all the bells and whistle rituals are in the highest heaven per mormon doctrine all the way back to Joseph smith himself

    look dude, one of my ancestors was President Kimball himself so we can debate this foolishness if u want but the poor kid is wasting his time

    per mormon doctrine (just as much a fairytale as all all other religions) he can not and never will attain the highest degree of glory unless he goes through the temple and he can not be a celibate gay to do that

    he must marry a woman in the temple and have children

    otherwise he might as well just marry a man and be happy with the mormon 2nd heaven along with everyone else not hitler

  15. Gigi says

    Is this presented without comment Andy, or are you saying that his “coming out” is a good thing? He told him family and friends that he is gay – his mom’s reaction was…very odd – but he’s celibate. Celibacy doesn’t work. Just ask the catholic priests.

  16. arundel says

    I read several posts on his blog (plus comments) after watching the video, and it is so very depressing that he somehow thinks he is now enlightened and unburdened. I fear his real troubles are just beginning as he realizes how sad his life must be while he sticks with the LDS. Meanwhile, he should just refer to himself as a Mormon eunuch. He has been castrated by his church.

  17. John says

    Sad. And disturbing that there’s no commentary from Towleroad – this isn’t exactly a benign message once you scratch the surface.

    You shouldn’t build someone up as a role model or example for gay kids when said role model is so beholden to his church’s dogma.

    Sex is healthy. Expression of gay sex is healthy. As a gay site, you’d think we wouldn’t be promoting someone who believes there’s some North-Korea-in-the-sky-regime which requires him to live a sexless, romantically loveless life.

  18. Continuum says

    OK – so this guy is gay and has condemned himself to a lonely, sexless life because he belongs to a hateful church . . . you just gotta ask what’s wrong with this picture.

  19. Ron says

    This is horrifying on a number of levels. Not least of which is that he completely misunderstands what it means to come out. You come out as a positive statement about yourself, not as an admission that you are damaged and plan to exile yourself to a life of loneliness. If you take the latter approach, how can you possibly expect a good reaction from your friends and family? And sure enough, with just a few exceptions, these people basically laugh nervously in his face or say that they feel sorry for him. Why this moron thought that it was a good idea to record all this to perky background music is beyond me.

    And he is going through all of this because of an invisible god-man who lives on planet Kolob.

  20. Kieran says

    The conditional love of any person or (church) community is not worth the love and respect you can give yourself – by being a fully realized human being and sharing physical intimacy with another person.

  21. TonyJazz says

    The malleable Mormon Church is likely to come around to gay rights as the church is so extremely family-oriented. I will be happy when the church matures to that point.

    On the other hand, this is not to say that there is ANY legitimacy in their teachings. This church is another fraud, and anyone would be smarter to walk away from it and live their life morally outside the church (instead of within it)…

  22. Francis says

    There are so many gay Mormon boys and so many of them are so tortured. It’s tragic, and I feel bad for this young man that he doesn’t believe he can or should love and be loved. Why would you be gay if you weren’t supposed to love and be loved like everyone else?

  23. Wayne says

    As a gay mormon myself, let me make a few observations.

    1. This kid is still at BYU… so he’ll be all gung-ho on being celibate while he is there. (A very strong group think exists at BYU).
    2. He’ll move away, get a job, become infatuated/fall in love with another man, and his eyes and heart will be opened to what life can be with a partner.
    3. He’ll post another video in 2-3 years about how being celibate doesn’t work, God still loves him, and he’s never been happier.

    I’ve seen this will 95% of my friends in the Mormon world.

    And as a side note: The teachings of the LDS faith do contradict themselves somewhat right now. One cannot attain the highest level of eternal reward without a temple marriage—and marriage is a commandment. At the same time they instruct Gay men and women to be celibate to stay worthy of Gods blessings.
    So they are teaching that there are 2nd class souls in the eyes of God, since they teach Gays are born this way and we will never be exalted to the same level as the straights. (this is the same logic when it came to black members of the church 30-40 years ago.) When Jimmy said in the video, the churches doctrines don’t change… well they do, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see them change in the next 5-7 years. Just saying… :)

  24. SC David says

    3:55-“The doctrine of the Mormon Church isn’t going to change.”

    Sure, just like it didn’t change on polygamy, or on blacks in the priesthood.

    Jimmy’s an appealing kid, but exposure to history and the world outside his religious community are going to erode his worldview quickly. I’d like to see where he is in 5 years.

  25. Duration & Convexity says

    Mormonism is something you choose. Gay is something you are (inherently). Why go against who you inherently are to appease some belief that you weren’t born with, but chose (often to appease others)

    THAT I will never get. Happy though that he’s atleast accepting who he is.

  26. Moz's says

    hopefully Wayne u’r #2 & 3 will happen

    regrettably though too many who are going the “celibate gay mormon” route end up committing suicide when they realize it isn’t working / hit #2

  27. says

    The kid is still in a bubble inside BYU and the closet of closets. I attended the church’s ex-gay therapy program in Provo (BYU), and this guy isn’t an anomoly. I fear he is going to be used as a rolemodel for other gay mormons to look to for strength, when he has clearly not grasped the severity of his situation.

    I appeared on CNN about this whole mormon vs gay conundrum..

    Ignorance isn’t innocence, and the “universal” truth he claims to believe in is quite relative to whomever is seeking it. Church leaders have had to recant and change positions on many things.. the roles of women, blacks, interracial relationships, plural marriages, Jewish Native Americans, and even that the moon was colonized by Mormons.

    I hope he learns he can and will be loved and accepted by thousands of Mormons and non-Mormons alike when he finally “comes out” honestly. But right now, he’s in discovery mode.


  28. Bob says

    Main Purpose: keep the kids in the fold, living as if crippled, so the families can have them for eternity to all be gods. Remember, their entire society is based on marriage and procreation
    Secondary Purpose: to “whitewash” the public image of mormons, which they tanked by their use of dirty tricks on Prop 8
    If in fact, the family/friends were shocked that this very fruity young man is Gay, it only shows how ridiculously closed their culture is.

  29. Bob says

    @ TONYJAZZ and SC DAVID___ This “prosperity scheme” of a church is boxed in, not likely to change to suit modern thought.
    The 2 previous big “revelations from God to the prophet” merely altered the DETAILS of the church and mormon life (one wife, but still the same family thing, a few Black males getting equal status)
    THEY WILL HAVE TO HAVE A GIGANTIC REVELATION IN COMPARISON to allow their Gay kids to actually be Gay, enter the temple, and not be pushed into the “cheap seats” in the afterlife.

  30. johnny says

    The sad part isn’t that he’s Gay and a Mormon who feels he has to be celibate.

    The sad part is that ANYONE is a Mormon.

    It’s a completely idiotic religion, along the same lines as Scientology. Read about it and learn, it’s based on nothing more than lies from a charlatan, no matter what good they’ve done or what good they may do. It’s a cult, plain and simple, made up by a liar and carried on by greedy, power-mad men. Like most religions.

  31. DannyEastVillage says

    he’s adorable, the video is adorable, his friends, his sister, his mom–all adorable. And it was difficult not to notice that nobody whose reaction he recorded seemed exactly horrified. That alone is worth a thousand words–words the LDS leadership aren’t gonna care for too much.

  32. John says

    Why hasn’t Towleroad edited this post to add some clarity?

    He states in his video description:

    ” I’m still, and will forever be, a faithful Mormon, so it looks like I’m not going to marry and therefore live a single life through this mortal existence. Sucks.”

    A little more context is required, Andy.

    This shouldn’t read as simply a ‘positive’ coming-out video. It’s a negative coming-out.

    He’s coming out to only acknowledge how wrong and how ‘sucky’ his situation is. He doesn’t complain about the wrongness of his church’s position, but in fact makes a case that their ‘that sucks’ response was very empathetic and ‘understanding.’ And that they’re completely correct.

  33. SC David says

    @Bob (Feb 20, 3:32:45 PM):
    Thanks for the clarification; I know little of the internal justifications for what appear from outside to be substantial evolutions. I still suspect young Mr. Hales is setting himself up for a huge cognitive dissidence FAIL if he ever makes one “slip” and has a taste of the forbidden…especially if it’s with a man who treats him kindly and lovingly and has a sensitivity to spirituality.

  34. tiki2 says

    I liked this video and I like the fact that he is working to take a stance in the Mormon community and trying to maybe change peoples attitudes. When I was younger, I moved to NY and then L.A. to “be gay” because I thought that was the only option. But now I’m living in a small east coast town with my partner and just being myself.

  35. John says

    Tiki – the stance he’s taking is to mirror that of his church. This is no profile in courage. He’s offering himself as someone to be pitied and tsked, someone to feel sorry for. He screams to high heavens how empathetic his church elder was when he came out – “that sucks” is apparently a very loving, understanding statement. Look how wonderful his church is!

    It wouldn’t shock me if this was a PR move by the LDS. They are fond of “… and I’m a Mormon” youtube ads.

  36. Bill says

    Did anyone notice the title at the very start of the video, “Facetious Productions”?

    My first reaction was that it was a put on – like Trey Parker playing a nice Mormon boy who gets roped into a porn studio in the film “Orgasmo” (he never actually does anything – they use a stunt guy for the actual sex, with the film cutting just before anything really X rated would be seen).

  37. andrew says

    He seems like a nice upbeat kinda guy. However if he is thinking of living his life as a celibate, he might check with some Catholic priests to find out how that is working for them.

  38. Bob says

    — and neither did the one a few months back about the Gay guy happily married to the woman
    — or the one about the protest in SLC
    — or the one showing happy Gay BYU students
    — or the story about the Black non-mormon BBall player at BYU who was repenting from having sex


  39. FFS says

    @Bob: It’s called “decaf.” Look into it.

    @John: Chill out. This kid is a victim of brainwashing, not a jackbooted member of the SS. Don’t so quick to call in the firing squad.

    @Moz: I’ll admit that Mormonism has changed a lot since I was raised in it, but I’m pretty sure we were taught that there was a Hell. I remember, cuz that’s where they told me gays would go. Just not permanently, what with the big Paradise block party that ultimately makes all those distinctions between the good, better and bestest Heavens irrelevant. Or, whatever.

    Although, I can’t imagine how a literal Hell could be any worse than growing up gay and Mormon.

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