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Gay Dad Pens Open Letter to Homophobic Mets Player Daniel Murphy: 'I Do Not Have a Lifestyle'

Raj

New York Mets fan and gay father Jon Raj has written an open letter to Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy after Murphy made headlines earlier this week for saying he disagreed with former MLB player Billy Bean's gay "lifestyle."

Wrote Raj in part:

MurphyAs a gay man, life-long Mets fan, and father of a budding Mets fan, I feel compelled to reach out to you, as you have certainly reached me with your feelings regarding my family.

To me, you are a great baseball player who has demonstrated commitment and determination when faced with adversity. I have followed you in your quest to become an All-Star second baseman and truly admire what you have accomplished.

To my son, you are more -- you are a role model. I understand that may not have been something you signed up for, but for better or worse, for him and others like him, you are larger than life.

Let me try to explain why what you said was not an innocuous sound byte, but rather an offensive statement. First, I do not have a lifestyle. I didn't choose my sexuality the same way you didn't choose yours. Second, being gay is not what defines me, but rather it is just one important part of who I am. So when you say that you disagree with who I am, you are also disagreeing with my son and my family. We are not a lifestyle choice -- we are a family. [...]

Some wonder how the gay rights movement has progressed so well so fast. To me it is quite simple: once you recognize that your brother, son, neighbor, or co-worker is gay, you don't just continue to "love him" but you learn to actually accept and respect him for who he is as a person -- and that changes everything.

Read the letter in full HERE

Yesterday, we reported Billy Bean had penned his own response to Murphy's comments, with Bean striking a conciliatory tone saying "It took me 32 years to fully accept my sexual orientation, so it would be hypocritical of me to not be patient with others."


Out Former MLB Player Billy Bean Responds to NY Mets' Daniel Murphy's Disagreement With His 'Gay Lifestyle'

Bean
(screenshot)

Yesterday, we reported New York Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy's anti-gay comments regarding openly gay former Major League Baseball player Billy Bean.

Said Murphy:

Murphy"I disagree with his lifestyle. I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual. That doesn't mean I can't still invest in him and get to know him. I don't think the fact that someone is a homosexual should completely shut the door on investing in them in a relational aspect. Getting to know him. That, I would say, you can still accept them but I do disagree with the lifestyle, 100 percent…

"Maybe, as a Christian, that we haven't been as articulate enough in describing what our actual stance is on homosexuality. We love the people. We disagree the lifestyle. That's the way I would describe it for me. It's the same way that there are aspects of my life that I'm trying to surrender to Christ in my own life. There's a great deal of many things, like my pride. I just think that as a believer trying to articulate it in a way that says just because I disagree with the lifestyle doesn't mean I'm just never going to speak to Billy Bean every time he walks through the door. That's not love. That's not love at all."

Bean, who recently became MLB's first Ambassador for Inclusion, responded to Murphy's comments in a post over at MLB.com.

Wrote Bean, in part:

When I took this job at MLB, I knew it was going to take time for many to embrace my message of inclusion. Expecting everyone to be supportive right away is simply not realistic. If you asked anyone who has competed in high-level men's professional sports, I believe they would agree with me. This doesn't change the way I go about my business, or my belief in what I am doing, but it's reality.

After reading his comments, I appreciate that Daniel spoke his truth. I really do. I was visiting his team, and a reporter asked his opinion about me. He was brave to share his feelings, and it made me want to work harder and be a better example that someday might allow him to view things from my perspective, if only for just a moment.

I respect him, and I want everyone to know that he was respectful of me. We have baseball in common, and for now, that might be the only thing. But it's a start.

The silver lining in his comments are that he would be open to investing in a relationship with a teammate, even if he "disagrees" with the lifestyle. It may not be perfect, but I do see him making an effort to reconcile his religious beliefs with his interpretation of the word lifestyle. It took me 32 years to fully accept my sexual orientation, so it would be hypocritical of me to not be patient with others.

Inclusion means everyone, plain and simple. Daniel is part of that group. A Major League clubhouse is now one of the most diverse places in sports. It wasn't always that way, but we can thank No. 42 for that. So in his honor, with a little patience, compassion and hard work, we'll get there.


NY Mets' Daniel Murphy Disagrees With Out Former Player Billy Bean’s ‘Gay Lifestyle’

Screen Shot 2015-03-04 at 12.31.47 PM

New York Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy said in an interview with NJ.com that he would accept a gay teammate, but said that he "Disagrees with the lifestyle, 100 percent," reports Deadspin. Murphy’s comments come after Mets Manager Sandy Alderson had the first major league player to ever come out publicly, Billy Bean, spend a day in uniform with the team yesterday. Murphy says he wanted the team to meet Bean, and that he’s personally wanted to meet Bean for a long time, but the Mets player’s comments about the "Gay lifestyle," indicates that whatever respect he has for Bean as a player is undercut by his disrespect for his "lifestyle."

Said Murphy:

"I disagree with his lifestyle. I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual. That doesn't mean I can't still invest in him and get to know him. I don't think the fact that someone is a homosexual should completely shut the door on investing in them in a relational aspect. Getting to know him. That, I would say, you can still accept them but I do disagree with the lifestyle, 100 percent…

"Maybe, as a Christian, that we haven't been as articulate enough in describing what our actual stance is on homosexuality. We love the people. We disagree the lifestyle. That's the way I would describe it for me. It's the same way that there are aspects of my life that I'm trying to surrender to Christ in my own life. There's a great deal of many things, like my pride. I just think that as a believer trying to articulate it in a way that says just because I disagree with the lifestyle doesn't mean I'm just never going to speak to Billy Bean every time he walks through the door. That's not love. That's not love at all."

Screen Shot 2015-03-04 at 12.29.50 PMBean is Major League Baseball’s Ambassador for Inclusion, and Alderson wanted Bean to share his story of how he left baseball because he struggled to continue playing while hiding his sexual orientation, and to make the Mets clubhouse feel more inclusive for all people. Bean heard Murphy’s comments after he received several emails asking how he felt about the player’s "gay lifestyle" comments. Bean responded to Murphy’s comments with class in an article he wrote for MLB.com.

Said Bean:

"After reading his comments, I appreciate that Daniel spoke his truth. I really do. I was visiting his team, and a reporter asked his opinion about me. He was brave to share his feelings, and it made me want to work harder and be a better example that someday might allow him to view things from my perspective, if only for just a moment.

"I respect him, and I want everyone to know that he was respectful of me. We have baseball in common, and for now, that might be the only thing. But it's a start.

"The silver lining in his comments are that he would be open to investing in a relationship with a teammate, even if he "disagrees" with the lifestyle. It may not be perfect, but I do see him making an effort to reconcile his religious beliefs with his interpretation of the word lifestyle. It took me 32 years to fully accept my sexual orientation, so it would be hypocritical of me to not be patient with others."


Thomas Roberts Talks To Gay Former MLB Player Billy Bean About His Return to Baseball: VIDEO

Bean

Former professional baseball player Billy Bean, who retired in 1995 before he could come out, recently spoke with Morning Joe's Thomas Roberts about his return to the sport - now as the MLB's first Ambassador of Inclusion.  

In his new role, Bean will develop educational training initiatives to combat homophobia and will help the league prepare for the reality of having a future gay player. To date, there are no openly gay MLB athletes. 

Check out the segment, AFTER THE JUMP...

Continue reading "Thomas Roberts Talks To Gay Former MLB Player Billy Bean About His Return to Baseball: VIDEO" »


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