Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump faced a throng of reporters in SNL’s Cold Open asking him about the impeachment hearings that took place this week. Baldwin’s Trump was prepared, however, with the set of “black licorice” notes that went viral this week, and a very loud helicopter that prevented him from hearing any of the reporters’ questions.
“It sounds like you said Sondland’s testimony completely exonerated me, and I totally agree.”
Baldwin’s Trump continued: “This is me and Ambassador Sondland talking. He says to me, ‘What do you want?’ And I answer, ‘Two large pies, extra cheese, extra sauce.’ No, wait, that’s a different phone call. I said to Sondland, ‘I want nothing. No quid pro quo, bro.’ See? It’s right here in black licorice.”
Baldwin’s Trump told reporters that it “doesn’t matter” what Sondland told the House impeachment inquiry: “I told him no quid pro quo at least once. So any quid I did after that is on them, that’s how it works. It’s like when you meet a girl and you say if you’re a cop, you’ve got to tell me. Besides, I don’t know this Ambassador Sondland guy, that’s fake news.”
But it just so happened Ferrell’s Sondland was within earshot.
“It’s so great to finally meet you for the first time, by the way,” as Ferrell’s Sondland appeared.
Replied Ferrell’s Sondland: “Oh, right, right, right. Keep the quid pro quo on the low-low, got it. I just want to go on the record and say you guys need to lay off my boy. Everybody loves his ass… Ukraine, Russia. They’ll do anything for this man. I know, I asked.”