Saturday Night Live drew an all-star lineup for its 2020 Democratic debate with Melissa Villaseñor’s Rachel Maddow moderating.
Kate McKinnon’s Elizabeth Warren, Maya Rudolph’s Kamala Harris, Colin Jost’s Pete Buttigieg (wearing the suit from his first communion), Larry David’s Bernie Sanders, Rachel Dratch’s bang-shaking Amy Klobuchar, Woody Harrelson’s Joe Biden, Chris Redd’s Cory Booker, Bowen Yang’s Andrew Yang (Bowen Yang), Cecily Strong’s Tulsi Gabbard, Will Ferrell’s Tom Steyer, and Fred Armisen’s Michael Bloomberg hit the stage to try and snatch the attention of America’s voters.
Of course they each had a few one-liners to hand out.
Said McKinnon’s Warren: “I know in past debates I was accused of being over-ambitious. I’ve got ‘Mom hosting Thanksgiving’ energy: I’m a little overwhelmed because I thought 10 people were coming and now there’s 30 million. But I promise dinner will be ready if you just get out of the kitchen and stop asking questions.”
Said Rudolph’s Harris, who was amped up to get in with the cool kids: “The funt is back: America’s fun aunt. I’m also America’s cool aunt: the cah — you know what, let’s not do that. I’m not going to worry about the polling numbers. I’m just going to have fun and see if I can get some viral moments. Mama needs a GIF. Gonna tell my kids this was Michelle Obama.”
Said David’s Sanders, back from his “heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack”: “Doctors were surprised I made it. And I’m very proud of the fact that I was the first heart attack patient to show up to the emergency room in a city bus.”
Dratch’s Klobuchar explained her shaking hair-do: “I know some of you think I’m shaking because I’m nervous, but this is just my signature quivering bang. It’s my Spidey sense that tingles whenever we need a moderate to say, ‘Girl, we can’t pay for that!'”
Harrelson’s Biden offered this on his gaffes: “I see the faces you all make when I talk; you’re scared — scared I’ll say something off-color or even worse, on-color. What I want you to know is you should be scared because I’m always one second away from calling Cory Booker Barack.”
Yang’s Yang praised Elon Musk’s new Tesla Cybertruck and called out to his “Yang gang.”
Strong’s Gabbard said: “I want you to know that I smell your fear and it makes me stronger. I’m wearing the white suit of your fallen hero, Hillary Clinton. Now fight me, cowards.”
Ferrell’s Steyer kept his eyes wide open as he wandered the debate stage, participating because it’s “fun” and it “gets me out of the house.”
And asked if he was officially running, Armisen’s Bloomberg said, “Maybe, maybe not. I’d be hard to beat. I’d love to see those Trump supporters come up with a conspiracy theory about a Jewish billionaire with his own media company. Good luck making that stick.”