Comments

  1. says

    That’s a great follow up and maybe a blessing in disguise if the news has been well received. I recall how stressful the ‘coming out’ process was for me.

    Thanks for sharing.

    BosGuy

  2. Bill says

    Not subject to dismissal. Only dismissals for months have been people who outed themselves and *insisted* on getting dismissed even when the military made it clear they could hang until the end of DADT.

  3. Ryan says

    Well, the Airman wasn’t exactly being all that covert, like telling his friend about himself while showing the guy’s face. Nonetheless, good for him. I hope his broader coming out meets with as much acceptance.

  4. dancobbb says

    Bud, here’s the deal: once the GOP is back in power, they will reverse the military policy and start kicking gays out of the military again. There is nothing written in stone about the repeal of DADT, and in fact, given how malicious the GOP is regarding gay soldiers, I would fully anticipate that were they to regain power, they will start a policy where gays are ferretted out and dismissed dishonorably from the military. DADT will look good in retrospect!

  5. HadenoughBS says

    I’m glad to hear about the good reception of his sexual orientation by fellow soldiers but still can’t breathe a sigh of relief until the DADT nightmare officially sends late next month.

  6. walter says

    and the world did not crumble just a small earthquake which will blamed on marriage equality new york or the repeal of dadt. the worse part their are morons who actually believe it.

  7. TampaZeke says

    If this kid is out to himself enough to post this video then why in the hell does he have a girlfriend that he is just now coming out to. I would expect that a person so far along in the game to want to do this video would be long past the “girlfriend” stage of coming out.

  8. TampaZeke says

    Never mind about the girlfriend question. Just watched the video again and caught the “6 month” and “girlfriend back home” lines. Now it makes perfect sense.

    Again, kudos to the man! I think he’s doing a LOT of good for himself and others. Can’t wait to hear more.

    He doesn’t have a “Southeast” accent. I would have thought Midwestern.

  9. Cory says

    Is it terrible that I alrways feel a strong sense of pity and sadness for the girlfriends in these situations?

    Everyone praises the closet cases but many of these girls are head over heels in love with these men and they just break their hearts by telling them they never loved them in the way they deserve to be loved.

    The entire thing is just amazingly selfish to me.

  10. Steverino says

    @Cory: Normal to have sympathy for the GF, but bear in mind many guys have true feelings for their spouse/GFs and are the last ones that would want to hurt them. While the ultimate realization that the relationship isn’t meant to be can be tragic and painful, it can also lead to the fairest and kindest result, where both are now free to seek true fulfillment. With apologies to Sting, “If you love somebody, set them free.”

  11. MiloTock says

    @Cory — the pressure on kids to conform, especially in conservative environments, is overwhelming. It is not hard to imagine that all of his friend had girlfriends, and no doubt his friends and relatives expected him to have one too. Couple this with his own confusion (“i’m just going through a phase”) and you should be able to understand his efforts to try to be like everybody else, to have the expected girlfriend, and to hope that maybe it is just a phase. It is not as if he had completely acknowledged to himself that he was gay and then got a girlfriend because he needed a beard. Agreed, that would have been selfish. But in the circumstances he describes, which are the circumstances that many gay men from conservative small towns find themselves in, I think it is a unfair to accuse him of being “selfish.” Not everyone has the self-awareness or ability to wake up one day, realize that they are gay, and then live as a fully out gay man from that point on. You can pity the girlfriends, but that need not equate with calling the men selfish.

  12. Chuck Mielke says

    @ TAMPAZEKE, et al. It’s always easy for outsiders to have questions and critiques. Psychologists call it “fundamental attribution error,” though there are other words, too. Each of us works through these things in our own way. While I, too, feel bad for the girlfriends it’s important to realize that, without that girlfriend, the guy may take much longer to find himself. (I’m not saying that the girl is in any way to blame, just that he may realize that he doesn’t feel about her “the way he should” [which raises hundreds of questions about the expectations our culture has for romantic relationships and what we teach our kids] and explore why that lack exists.)

  13. Thomasina says

    @Cory: I don’t think it’s terrible of you to feel bad for the girlfriends and the wives in these situations. It’s normal. But I think that the majority of anger about this should be directed not toward the “closet cases” who date or marry women but to the cultural, political, and religious institutions who tell them to. It’s time that we understood as a society that telling gay men to “cure” themselves by marrying unsuspecting women (as is the official policy of many groups who claim that homosexuality can be changed, including the Mormon Church) is not just homophobic; it is also indicative of deeply held institutionalized misogyny. If these groups are so intent on gay men marrying straight women, that means they truly don’t care that those women are getting cheated out of the chance for a real marriage, and therefore they must really hate women.

  14. anon says

    It’s not likely DADT will be reinstated because the 9th circuit order will stick around for a while. Particularly after formal repeal and while the case is tied up in court.

  15. JohnAGJ says

    Don’t forget that any move to reinstate DADT via legislation would have to get past a Senate filibuster. Even if one assumes the worst in the upcoming 2012 elections for Senate Democrats with the GOP having 60+ seats, there is still the matter of 8 Republicans having voted for repeal. I doubt enough of them would change their vote. No, DADT is pretty much dead as of next month. Now this doesn’t mean that some mischief could be done regardless, but officially at least the policy will be extremely difficult to bring back and they know it. GOP rhetoric about supposedly reinstating DADT is about as serious as their now 40-year old promise to overturn Roe vs. Wade. Such makes great lines in fundraising appeals but beyond tinkering around the edges rarely seem to go anywhere.

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