• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy

Towleroad Gay News

Gay Blog Towleroad: More than gay news | gay men

  • Travel
  • Sports
  • Law/Justice
  • Celebrities
  • Film/TV/Stream
  • Republicans
  • Madonna
  • Books
  • Men
  • Trans Rights
  • Tech/Science
  • Royals
  • Monkeypox

This Gay Former High School Football Player Has a Powerful Message for LGBT Youth

Sean Mandell October 29, 2015 Leave a Comment

12108804_10205200866369934_3648548648317880939_n

Gay former high school football player Harrison Wilkerson wants LGBT youth struggling with depression and anxiety to know they are not alone.

In a post published on OutSports, Wilkerson opens up about his own battle with depression and social anxiety in hopes that his story can help others. Though Wilkerson seemingly had it all in high school–student body president, varsity football player, loving family and friends–he was in turmoil, “coping with suicidal thoughts –something no one would have known just by looking at him from the outside.

Wilkerson grew up in a small town in North Carolina where “Every fall is consumed by football, every spring by baseball and every Sunday by church.” When he was younger, his passions were chiefly in the arts. But as he grew up, he took to sports, ultimately landing a spot as kicker on his high school’s football team. Though he excelled on the field, off the field he says something wasn’t “clicking”:

harrison_wilkerson_kick.0While all my teammates were talking about girls in the locker room I couldn’t have been more uncomfortable. I had no interest in the topic whatsoever. As a high school boy, this was not the norm, and a few guys began to notice. Not knowing the answer myself, I denied many times having any interest in guys, but the denials weren’t enough to quiet the questions. […]

Through that season I slipped into the darkest time of my life: Deep down I knew I was gay, and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted so badly to be straight, but I knew there was no more denying who I was.

Unknown to anyone at the time, I struggled daily with anxiety and severe depression. I wrestled privately with suicidal thoughts for months. Bullying and harassment increased at school. People in passing cars screamed homophobic slurs at me. At one point another vehicle literally ran me off the road. All of it was because I was coming out of my cocoon, finding the need to be my truth. Yet simply because I was different, life was becoming a living hell. Loneliness took hold.

Wilkerson says that, “[O]ne of the darkest memories I have is sitting in my bedroom floor in the pitch black night crying out for God to please end my life.” Yet despite the immensity of his struggle, “No one at school knew I was having these thoughts.” Adding to the burden of his depression was Wilkerson’s feeling that it wasn’t “ok to be depressed.” This led him to become convinced he was alone.

Finally, Wilkerson reached a breaking point and could no longer deny who he was:

Eventually I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The day came when I was able to finally look myself in the mirror and say “I am gay.” I soon confided in one friend that I was in fact gay, like so many had suspected. From there my confidence grew. I began to tell my closest friends, then a few more. Eventually it became the worst-kept secret in town. […]

The more people I told, the better I felt. The truth did set me free.

Wilkerson stresses that the struggle for acceptance is still one being faced by LGBT today. His story happened only last year. He writes, “In 2014, loneliness nearly took my life.” It is the immediacy of that struggle which motivated Wilkerson to share his story,

“For a long time I have debated writing my story publicly. I don’t want to seem self-indulgent, or that I am sharing this for attention. However, I can’t live in fear any longer. I am willing to deal with people’s false assumptions if it means somewhere out there some kid knows it’s perfectly OK to not feel 100% all of the time. I am doing this piece because I can’t get another text, see another Facebook post, or read about another person in the news who ended their life because they had no one there for them.

We have to talk about mental health issues, the stigma that is associated with being depressed, or having anxiety, has to be eliminated. It is OK to be gay. This is literally a life or death issue. No you aren’t alone, and no you aren’t any different than the varsity football player who looks like he has it all together. We need to know that we are here for each other.”

Bravo, Harrison!

Topics: Coming Out, Health, Sports, towleroad More Posts About: Football (American)

Related Posts
  • NFL, Sports World, LGBTQ Leaders Respond to Raiders Carl Nassib Coming Out… All The Key People, Fun Facts and A Few Memes
  • Carl Nassib Comes Out, First Active Gay NFL Player: ‘Been Meaning To Do This For a While’; NFL Commish: ‘NFL family is proud’
  • Amanda Gorman Honors Community Heroes with History-Making Super Bowl Poem: WATCH
  • Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Under Fire: Petition To Have Him Resign Or Be IMPEACHED Surpasses 450K Signatures

    Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Under Fire: Petition To Have Him Resign Or Be IMPEACHED Surpasses 450K Signatures

    Published by Radar Online MEGA An online petition demanding that Justice Clarence Thomas must resign from the Supreme Court immediately or else be impeached is quickly gaining traction, Radar has learned. More than 450,000 signatures have …Read More »
  • Unilever sells Ben & Jerry’s Israeli business to defuse BDS row

    Unilever sells Ben & Jerry’s Israeli business to defuse BDS row

    Published by Reuters UK By Henriette Chacar JERUSALEM (Reuters) -Unilever on Wednesday sold its Ben & Jerry’s ice cream business in Israel to its local licensee for an undisclosed sum, aiming to smooth over a potentially …Read More »
  • London Pride to feature Snapchat-powered AR art exhibition

    London Pride to feature Snapchat-powered AR art exhibition

    Published by BANG Showbiz English London Pride will feature a Snapchat-powered AR art exhibition to celebrate queer artists. The annual event – which is set to take place in the capital on Saturday 2 July – …Read More »
  • Top 10 Trixie Mattel Songs

    Top 10 Trixie Mattel Songs

    Published by The Boot To fans, Trixie Mattel is the raucous winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 3. To the government, she’s Brian Michael Firkus and, no matter what you call her, she’s not …Read More »
Previous Post: « The Bad Lip Reading Democratic Debate You’ve Been Waiting For: WATCH
Next Post: School Kicks Out 7-Year-Old Student for Talking About Gay Dad: WATCH »

Primary Sidebar

News

  • California beachfront property to return to Black family

    California beachfront property to return to Black family

  • Four takeaways from the sixth day of Jan. 6 U.S. Capitol riot hearings

    Four takeaways from the sixth day of Jan. 6 U.S. Capitol riot hearings

  • Trump wanted to join Jan. 6 Capitol riot, tried to grab limo steering wheel

    Trump wanted to join Jan. 6 Capitol riot, tried to grab limo steering wheel

RSS Partner Links

  • Kim Kardashian Has Officially Been Sued Over Her Skincare Line, SKKN
  • OMG, Marvel Studios is really teasing us with more shirtless Thor side-ass and pelvis-peeking fuckery
  • Halsey Responded To Fans Who Walked Out Of Their Concert In Reaction To Pro-Choice Speech
  • OMG, coming up for air: Professional British swimmer Dan Jervis comes out
  • Greg In Hollywood among those honored by City of West Hollywood with Rainbow Key Award
  • Today’s Insta Hunk: Jason Moattar!
  • Thursday Round-Up: Tom Ford; Kristen Stewart; Cara Delevingne & Selena Gomez; Randy Rainbow & more!

Most Recent

  • Disney CEO Bob Chapek’s Contract Extension Awakens Twitter

    Disney CEO Bob Chapek’s Contract Extension Awakens Twitter

  • Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Under Fire: Petition To Have Him Resign Or Be IMPEACHED Surpasses 450K Signatures

    Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Under Fire: Petition To Have Him Resign Or Be IMPEACHED Surpasses 450K Signatures

  • Unilever sells Ben & Jerry’s Israeli business to defuse BDS row

    Unilever sells Ben & Jerry’s Israeli business to defuse BDS row

  • London Pride to feature Snapchat-powered AR art exhibition

    London Pride to feature Snapchat-powered AR art exhibition

  • Top 10 Trixie Mattel Songs

    Top 10 Trixie Mattel Songs

  • Kit Conner says attending his first fashion show was ‘surreal’

    Kit Conner says attending his first fashion show was ‘surreal’

  • Dad Storms Out of Sister’s Wedding After She Deadnames His Transgender Son

    Dad Storms Out of Sister’s Wedding After She Deadnames His Transgender Son

  • As Jan. 6 hearings portray an enraged Trump, DeSantis may be biggest winner

    As Jan. 6 hearings portray an enraged Trump, DeSantis may be biggest winner

Most Commented

Social

Twitter @tlrd | Facebook | Instagram @tlrd
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy
[towleroadmr] [towleroadtn]

Footer

Copyright © 2022 · Log in