Senator Ted Cruz’s apparent interest in bisexual porn provided ample fodder for Jimmy Kimmel’s monologue on Tuesday night.
“It was a video from a genre known as ‘stepmom porn.’ Just think, if only he’d done something this perverted during the campaign he might be president right now.”
Kimmel mulled how Cruz’s “like” could have happened:
“I have four theories. Number 1, someone on his staff was browsing porn on Twitter and accidentally liked it. Number 2, his Twitter account was hacked. Number 3, Ted himself was looking at the porn, his wife Heidi walked in and he accidentally hit the ‘like’ button while he was trying to get his pants zipped up. Or number 4, you know Ted lost the presidential election, he’s been bullied by Trump, he’s tired of being the uptight religious guy from Texas, he just said, ‘screw it, I watch porn in public now, this is who I am.'”
But finally, he explained why he doesn’t think it wasn’t Ted:
“I really honestly don’t think it was Ted Cruz. I don’t think Ted Cruz looks at porn. Ted Cruz masturbates to pictures of poor people without healthcare.”