Former SNL cast member Kevin Nealon went hiking with David Sedaris and it was just as uncensored and hilarious as you might imagine.
Sedaris chatted with Nealon about his FitBit goals, losing toenails and frequently finding them in his socks, embarrassing questions at the airport, his Masterclass, and customers that defecate at the Gap.
Said Sedaris: “Hugh, my boyfriend, worked at The Gap. We call it The Crap now because he told me that story about people defecating in the dressing room. And I repeated it one night in a bookstore and a woman came up and said ‘I work at Banana Republic. That happens all the time.’ And then I repeated that, and then the next night somebody came and said ‘I work at Target’ and it happens all the time. And they said at Target, if someone sh*ts in the dressing room, they make an announcement about some unclaimed merchandise left in the dressing room. And people do it in the circular dressing racks at K-Mart, and it’s not about needing to use the bathroom. It’s about leaving your mark.”
They also talked burglars, Sedaris’s culottes, wearing Spanx on TV, public displays of affection, signing his same book over and over, his dislike of dogs, not being a morning person, picking up litter in England at night, his three kidney stone experiences, getting medical drugs easily in France, how an audience gives you what you need, his first heartbreak, and being honest about his sexuality after his girlfriend ran away with his best friend in the ’70s, when there were few out gay people.
Said Sedaris: “You couldn’t say, ‘well, I’m gay.’ you’re sure, you just don’t want to admit it. … It’s nice to see kids [today] who don’t have to form an alternate personality. And live a lie, and hide themselves. Because it’s not healthy, it just deforms you.”
They also chatted about writing while drinking, the notion of writing a book at Starbucks, his essay about Anne Franks’ apartment in Amsterdam, getting off on writing for The New Yorker magazine, fist fights, his prostate, using his cell phone, limiting time on social media, offending a fan by drawing something in her book.”