Senator Ted Cruz cracked jokes about his trip to Cancun, offered sarcastic criticism of COVID protocols, mocked John Boehner, and bootlicked Trump at the 2021 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) on Friday.
“Orlando is awesome!” said Cruz at the opening of his speech. “It’s not as nice as Cancun, but it’s nice.”
Former House Speaker John Boehner, who reportedly told Cruz to “f**k himself” in the audio book of his new memoir, also got a barb: “You know yesterday, John Boehner made some news. He suggested that I do something that was anatomically impossible. To which my response was, who’s John Boehner?”
Cruz also mocked COVID protocols and mask-wearing: “We’re gonna wear masks for the next 300 years. And by the way, not just one mask — two, three, four — you can’t have too many masks! How much virtue do you wanna signal?
Cruz attacked progressives and the media as well: “Bernie is wearing mittens, and AOC is telling us she was murdered, and the media desperately, desperately, desperately wants to see a Republican civil war.”
And we can’t forget cancel culture: “You know, Jerry Seinfeld doesn’t tell comedy anymore because then he jokes that funny is canceled. You know, ‘SNL’ is unwatchable. The late night comedy, they stand up and say ‘We hate Donald Trump.’ Yeah, no kidding. We didn’t get that the last 9,000 times you said that.”
He also paid tribute to the GOP party leader: “Just have fun. There are a whole lot of voices in Washington that want to just erase the last four years, want to go back to the world before where we had government of the lobbyists, by the lobbyists, and for the lobbyists. Where the Republicans’ compelling message was, ‘Republicans: we waste less.’ And they look at Donald J. Trump and they look at the millions and millions of people inspired who went to battle fighting alongside President Trump, and they’re terrified. And they want him to go away. Let me tell you this right now, Donald J. Trump ain’t going anywhere.”
Finally, he ended the speech screaming: “Freeeeedom!”